


Symbiosis

by Yvi



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon, Community:stargate_summer, Episode Related, Episode: s02e02 In the Line of Duty, Friendship, Gen, Tok'ra
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-29
Updated: 2009-11-29
Packaged: 2017-10-03 23:21:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 63,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yvi/pseuds/Yvi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jolinar doesn't die in the Ashrak attack, Sam is faced with a difficult decision. She can trust Jolinar and go to the Tok'ra base with her, hoping that they will be able find a new host, or she can stay at the SGC and trust the NID not to harm her. Sam decides to flee the base with Jolinar, not realizing that this is only the beginning of an adventure that will change her life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> A few of the original notes:
> 
> **Category:** AU, action/adventure, gen, friendship, episode-related  
> **Characters:** Samantha Carter, Jolinar, Martouf, SG-1, Jacob Carter, various others  
> **Pairings:** It's complicated? Mostly gen with some *deep breath* Sam/Jolinar/Lantash/Martouf because, well, that's canon and has to be resolved, right? But 97.5% gen.  
> **Word Count:** ~65,000  
> **Timeline:** ventures into AU territory during/after "In the Line of Duty". After that, the timeline (most notably The Tok'ra/Secrets) is... a bit warped.  
> **Warnings:** some violence (torture)
> 
> **Author's Notes:** Writing this story was... a wild ride, to say the least. In 2007, I participated in the sg_ep_ficathon and got the following prompt from Medie: Sam/Martouf/Jolinar/Lantesh - "Sam and Jolinar survive the attack and manage to escape/make contact with the Tok'ra and Martouf/Lantesh". I wrote a 10,000 words story for it called 'Mutualism', which is still the backbone of what is now the prologue and the first half of chapter 1, though it has been changed. I submitted it, thinking that I would write two sequels to it. Which I never did. stargate_summer, the SG-1 big bang, was the perfect excuse for me to finally get back to it.
> 
> This is my first fanfic longer than 10,000 words. It could not have happened without the support by everyone who participated in stargate_summer, especially Helens, my cheerleader samantilles and the wonderful aurora_novarum. Words can't describe how much I owe to her for beta-reading this.
> 
> Thank you very much also to gblvr for the lovely art, which can be found here: http://yvi-writes.dreamwidth.org/8685.html.
> 
> And I am starting to sound like an actress getting the Acedemy Award. On to the story...

It was dark. Very dark. There was nothing around her, just blackness, stretching into infinity.

There was no picture before her eyes, no sound in her ears, but Sam could feel she was not alone. Not alone in her own body. And it was black because she could not open her eyes.

> *Do not be afraid.*

  
A voice in her head, belonging to someone not her. The memories came back.

The planet they had been on, the people they had rescued, the sharp pain and then… losing control. Threatening Jack in the gate room, the time in the holding cell, talking to Daniel. And then, someone entering the room. Pain. After that, nothing.

And there were other memories, too. Behind those, like shadows. Of planets Sam had never visited and people she had never met. Of fights and blue crystals forming tunnels and of sitting on sandy beaches looking at water that was colored bright red. She couldn't quite grasp them, it felt like trying to remember dreams. One moment, you thought you could see them and then they were gone. But you knew they were still there, just out of reach.

There was more there. Feelings: anger, pain, love. Feelings not her own about people she didn't know and situations she had never been in.

> _ Stop it, _she screamed silently, and the pictures vanished.
> 
> *I am sorry. I am having a hard time controlling what you see right now. It will be better soon.*
> 
> _ I'd really prefer you didn't control anything at all._

  
Sam opened her eyes. The familiar sight of the gray stone walls and ceiling of the infirmary greeted her. She could see a monitor standing beside her bed and someone sitting on a chair next to it. When she turned her head, she could make out that it was Daniel. So she had in fact not been alone. Daniel did not make a sound, though - he was asleep, his head on his chest.

Something else moved in the room. Sam looked into the other direction and could make out two airmen standing beside the door to the infirmary. A third one was just leaving. Maybe he had seen her move.

Sam tried sitting up, but found that she couldn't. Her wrists were restrained, and it didn't really come as a surprise. Her last memory was that of being in the holding cell and everybody thinking that she was a Goa'uld, though they did seem to at least start to believe her. Or rather, it. And she was not so sure herself whether she could trust it to be what it had told her.

> *Is there any way I can prove to you I am not one of them?*
> 
> _ Well, let's see. You entered my body by force. You keep controlling it. Right now, I am not sure how you can convince me otherwise._
> 
> *I am truly sorry for taking your body like that. I will let you have control whenever you desire it from now on.*
> 
> _ Yeah, you already mentioned that you were sorry. Didn't keep you from using my body like that, did it?_
> 
> *I know. What can I possibly do to make you believe me?*

  
The voice sounded desperate and genuinely sorry now, but Sam was too mad to let it go or give in now. She had screamed at the being inside of her previously and had received very few replies. She wasn't going to be treated like that.

> _ You could leave me._

  
There was silence for a moment.

> *I do not want to die.*

  
It sounded afraid. If Sam hadn't already been in an angered state, maybe she would feel more sympathetic now.

> _ And I don't want you in my body._
> 
> *I know. If we can find the others, I will leave you.*
> 
> _ The other Tok'ra?_
> 
> *Yes. I know how to find them. They can help us.*

  
Sam took a deep breath and could feel herself calming down. She couldn't do anything right now anyway, so she might as well try to stay civil.

> _ Tell me what happened._
> 
> *It was the Ashrak. It had come to kill me. I blocked you out so you would not have to feel the pain. It started to kill me, but they came in time and stopped it. We lost consciousness after that.*
> 
> _ So what you told me was true? You are Jolinar of Malkshur, a Tok'ra? Hunted by the Goa'uld?_
> 
> *Yes. That is why it tried to kill us. You can trust me, Samantha.*

  
But Sam wasn't going to just forgive and forget this easily. What Jolinar had done with her body had not really created a sense of trust in her.

> _ You lied to Daniel. And you pretended to be me when you talked to Colonel O'Neill._
> 
> *I am sorry, that was a wrong thing to do. I will not control you if you do not wish it anymore. I thought they would let me go if I said I would get you back to them, if I could provide them with information. But it did not work. Maybe talking to you will help.*
> 
> _ Will help with what?_
> 
> *The Tok'ra can find another host for me, I promise. I will leave you then. Please talk to them so they will help us contact them.*

  
Jolinar had made promises she didn't keep before, both to Sam and to the Colonel. Sam had not believed him,... or her - Sam remembered seeing previous hosts of Jolinar in her mind, most of them female – when Jolinar told about about the Tok'ra and who she was. So why would she do so now? But now that she had witnessed the Ashrak's attack on her life, she started to question this. Why else would he have come after her but for Jolinar? The Goa'uld feared the Tok'ra, she had learned that much . And Jolinar had tried to save her.

Despite the fact that Jolinar had lied before, that much had been genuine. She had felt Jolinar fight for her own life, but also for that of her host. Getting back to Jolinar's home might be the way to save them both.

"Daniel," Sam said trying to attract his attention, but it had no effect.

"Daniel," she said again, a bit louder and this time he opened his eyes and looked at her. She could also hear the airmen at the door moving at the sound of her voice.

"Jolinar?" Daniel asked.

She shook her head. "No, Daniel, it's me. Sam."

"They say it's still in you." He adjusted his glasses, which had slipped a bit while was he had been sleeping.

"They're right," Sam admitted.

"How can I be sure it's you then?" Daniel took her hand into his and squeezed it lightly , a gesture that comforted Sam a lot.

"You can't."

The door of the infirmary opened and Jack, Janet and General Hammond entered. Obviously, the airmen had had quite specific orders. The door had almost closed when it swung open again and Teal'c also came in.

"Captain Carter?" the General addressed her as he stood beside her bed. He looked worried.

"Sir," Sam said in reply and looked up at him. Jack, Daniel and Teal'c gathered behind the General, while Janet went to the foot of Sam's bed to catch her chart. All of them looked down on her with an identical worried expression reflected in their eyes.

"How are you feeling, Captain?"

"A bit shaken, but I'm fine, General." Sam tried to sound confident, but did not know whether she had succeeded. Knowing how worried her team could get, she wanted to give the impression that she really was fine.

Sam's chart in her hands, Janet came around the bed and helped Sam into a more upright position on the bed. The restraints did not do anything to make that position more comfortable, though.

"I think the question the General here really wants to ask, Carter, is whether he is, in fact, talking to you." It was, of course, Colonel O'Neill who came directly to the point.

"She said she was," Daniel chimed in.

"Well, Daniel, she said that before and you know how much I'd love to believe those snake-things, but there's just something about them that makes me a bit twitchy," the Colonel retorted.

"Is there any way we can make sure who we are talking to, Doctor?" General Hammond directed the question to Janet, who came up on Sam's other side.

"We do have a few ideas, General, but we're not sure whether they actually work." Janet replied, checking something on the monitor on Sam's other side.

> *From what I have seen from their medical instruments, they could be configured to show who of us is in control. I could help them.*

  
"Jolinar says she can reconfigure your instruments for that," Sam chimed in.

"Why would she do that?" Jack asked, his opinion of that idea clearly audible in his voice.

"She wants to help. And she wants to leave me." Sam looked at the General, silently pleading for him to let her help. She wanted to get out of this situation as fast as possible.

"Doctor Fraiser, do you think this is a good idea?"

Janet shrugged. "I don't see why we shouldn't try it. We have run out of ideas on what to try and we can take some precautions"

Sam looked around and noticed that the guards were all armed with zat weapons. If something happened, at least they wouldn't really hurt her.

Janet seemed to be a bit frustrated. Sam knew she didn't like having armed personnel standing guard in her infirmary when she didn't see it strictly necessary. And even then, they tended to bother her.

"Then you have my permission. But I will send another guard in," the General concluded.

There was an awkward pause where no one knew what to say.

"What is going to happen now?" Sam finally asked.

"I'm afraid that is almost beyond our control now," General Hammond replied after a few more moments of silence. He didn't look into her eyes.

Sam was almost sure what that meant, though she really didn't want to believe it. "The NID, sir?"

"I'm afraid so. The last incident got their attention." He looked at her again, the worry very clear in his face. "I don't like this any more than you do, Captain."

Sam didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. "With all due respect sir, but I dare say I like this less than you." The thought of having the NID try to... study her was not in any way comforting, to say the least.

"We won't let them do anything to you, Carter." Colonel O'Neill's voice was firm as he said it.

Teal'c stepped forward a bit. "Indeed we will not, Captain Carter. Even if we are not talking to you at the moment, you are still in there."

"Hang in there, Sam," Daniel added.

Sam smiled weakly. "When are they coming?"

"We might have told them a few things to make them think your health status was a bit… more severe and you needed at least until tomorrow evening until you could talk," the colonel said with a wink and Sam could just imagine him and General Hammond having a heated discussion with an NID representative in which a few facts got left out and a few others were exaggerated.

"Thank you. But I am not sure I can wait. There might be more of those Ashrak. " Sam tried to sit up more and move her hands, but it just made her realize that the restraints were pretty tight.

"What makes you think so, Captain Carter?" Teal'c asked.

Sam shrugged. "I'm not sure, it's just a feeling."

"We have severely tightened security here since that incident, as I am sure you can imagine," General Hammond said.

Sam tried to move again. She felt like she couldn't breathe right now on top of not being able to move. The helplessness was getting to her. "Maybe I could contact the Tok'ra, maybe they could help," she said.

The General shook his head. "I'm afraid I really can't let you leave right now."

"They can help me," Sam repeated, not knowing how to make them understand, how to make them see that she was herself. She hesitated for a moment. "There might be more Ashrak hunting for Jolinar. This base is at risk because of me."

"I am sorry, Captain. We will have to take that risk right now. Base security has been tightened. You will have to stay here." General Hammond looked truly sorry, but she knew he would not back down on this point by the way he looked at her.

They hadn't even been there for more than a few minutes and yet Sam could feel her strength draining. She closed her eyes briefly, wishing her head would stop hurting so much so that she could think straight. The damage to her body must have been severe if just a bit of talking made her this tired.

> *I am doing my best to repair your body, Samantha. But it will take a few more hours.*

  
"General, I think Captain Carter needs more rest. Her condition is still very severe," Janet said, noting down some of Sam's stats on her chart.

"I am just a bit tired," Sam protested, but she knew her voice did not make her sound believable. For one second, everything got a bit blurry. She blinked, and her vision was normal again. Maybe her condition really was as severe as Janet said and they were not just putting on an act for the NID. If so, it might take them one or two days even to get to her.

"We can talk again when you have rested a bit more, Captain," General Hammond cut her off. "You can also help Doctor Fraiser then, but for now it would be best if you rested."

"Yes, sir." Sam got drowsier by the second. She'd had no idea that her condition was that bad. Jolinar had done a pretty good job hiding it from her, just silently repairing her body in the background. She was almost asleep even before everyone had left the room, except for Janet and Colonel O'Neill who stayed behind to watch over her. Calmed down by the knowledge that they would watch over her, she fell asleep.

* * *

When Sam woke up, not a long time afterwards, she was still in control of her body. She did not move, though. She had to talk to Jolinar, and she did not want anyone interrupting them.

> _ Jolinar?_
> 
> *Yes, Samantha?*

  
The reply was prompt. Sam wondered whether symbiotes slept just like humans.

> *Yes, we do sometimes. I was awake, though.*
> 
> _ While I find you reading my thoughts like that disturbing and would rather you didn't, I'll just ignore it this time. We need to do something. We need to get out of here before the NID comes to pay me a sick visit. Because that will not end well for either of us._
> 
> *So you agree that we have to contact the Tok'ra?*
> 
> _ I think it is the best chance you and I have._
> 
> *Thank you, Samantha. I regret that this is necessary and that you think so as well means a lot to me. I wished I had acted differently now...*
> 
> _ Yes, you kind of mentioned that already. Listen, getting out of here is not easy. They don't seem very willing to let me go anywhere or consider other options and there are dozens of safety mechanisms in place here._
> 
> *I know. I have spent the time you used to sleep to think of a way for us to get out by ourselves.*
> 
> _ Been picking my mind, haven't you?_
> 
> *It was necessary. Be assured that I did not invade your private memories.*
> 
> _ Can I do that, too? Looking at your knowledge?_

  
Sam was intrigued by that idea. Being derived from the Goa'uld, the Tok'ra probably shared the physiological feature of the genetic memory.

> *Within limits, yes. You already did so briefly. But I do possess the genetic memory of my ancestors before me and that is a lot for a human to take in at once, so I am limiting your access to that section. And you cannot hear me think the way I can hear you.*
> 
> _ Wonderful._

  
Sam was less than thrilled by discovering that there were several one-way streets in this 'relationship'. She could not take control when she wanted, and Jolinar could hear her every thought, but hide her own.

> * We are not yet fully blended. I can keep myself from listening, if you wish to. Then you can think of how to get rid of me without me listening to it.*
> 
> _ I'd feel a lot more comfortable knowing that._
> 
> *Consider it done. You need to think of speaking to me now when you want me to hear you.*

  
Sam was at least mildly pleased with this development.

> _ Thank you. So, you came up with a plan?_
> 
> *I believe so.*

  
There was a moment's silence. Sam wondered why Jolinar wasn't continuing.

> _ So?_
> 
> *Obviously, your people do not know what to do with us next. They seem to believe us, at least partially, and they started to believe me even before the Ashrak attacked, especially Daniel Jackson. But they do not have enough trust to actually listen to our suggestions. I am getting the impression that the arrival of this NID would circumvent any plan we could come up with to leave this base. My understanding is that once the further medical tests are over, we will be locked in a cell again until further decisions are made. Decisions not to our advantage. Therefore, we need to act quickly, before we are removed from the infirmary, preferably tonight. If we can get someone to untie us and get past the guards at the door, I am fairly certain that I can get us to the control room and dial the address of a planet where a Tok'ra operative can help us.*

  
Sam could see several large problems with that plan already.

> _ And how exactly do you plan to get past the guards?_
> 
> *That is what you need to do. Is there anyone who you could convince to help you with that?*

  
Sam wasn't sure. Colonel O'Neill had been very vocal about his disbelief about the Tok'ra and even if he did believe, she was sure he wouldn't trust them enough. And while he hated the NID, she did not know for sure he would go against direct orders like this for her. Teal'c had heard of the Tok'ra and seemed to believe that the Tok'ra existed, but she could not see him going against orders like that, either. It was one thing to do it in order to save the planet and another to potentially unleash a Goa'uld. Which left Daniel, who had lost so much to the Goa'uld. But he also appeared to believe in the Tok'ra movement, so maybe he was their best bet.

> _ I might be able to talk to Daniel._
> 
> *Thank you, Samantha.*

  
Sam opened her eyes. The room looked exactly as it had when she had last woken, only that this time it was Teal'c who was sitting next to her, and he was not asleep, but looking directly at her.

"Captain Carter," he greeted her with a small nod of his head.

"Hey, Teal'c," she said and smiled.

"How are you feeling?"

"Good," she answered friendly, "Listen, Teal'c, could you get Daniel for me? I want to ask him something."

"Of course, Captain Carter." Teal'c bowed his head and stood up. He quietly left the room.

Sam wasn't alone in the infirmary for very long. Daniel must have been somewhere near to make it to the infirmary that quickly. He came alone, Teal'c didn't return with him and Sam was very grateful for that – as much as she liked Teal'c, talking to Daniel alone would be easier. Not that she thought it would be easy. She didn't have much time.

"Hey, Sam." Daniel sat down on the chair that Teal'c had left. "How are you?"

"Pretty good, Daniel," she said, turning her head enough so that she could look at him. She had to shuffle her whole body a bit to do it and only now did Sam notice that her legs were no longer tied to the bed. Her arms were still restrained, though.

"What can I do for you?" Daniel asked, keeping a safe distance to her.

There was no point, or indeed time, for small talk. "I need your help, Daniel."

"In what way?"

She knew she had to whisper from now on. The door was rather far away and no one else seemed to be in the infirmary right now, but she had to be careful. "I really need to leave."

"I am sorry, Sam, I can't do that." Daniel shook his head.

Sam had to try a different approach. "Jolinar is sorry for what she said about Sha're."

Daniel didn't answer.

"Do you trust me, Daniel? Do you trust that you are actually talking to me?"

He sighed. "I want to. I have done some research, and I think I found something on the Tok'ra…" He trailed off.

"That's good. It's good, right?" Sam asked.

Daniel nodded. "Yes, I think it is. But really, Sam, I can't help you. I wish I could." He looked genuinely sorry, but Sam couldn't let him get away like that. Not now.

At that moment, one of the guards got a radio transmission, which distracted Sam. She couldn't hear what was being said, but it sounded urgent. He left the room.

"What's going on," Sam said directed at the remaining guard, but got no reply. She sent a pleading look at Daniel, who got up.

"I'll check it out, okay?"

"Thanks."

Daniel hurried to the door and spoke to the guard, getting more and more agitated throughout the conversation. Still Sam could not hear anything specific, though, so she had to wait until Daniel finally came back. He looked quite angry.

"Daniel, what's happening?"

"It's Maybourne. He's on his way," Daniel replied, clearly angry at that development.

Sam couldn't believe it. "Already?" This wasn't supposed to happen for several days, or at the very least not now. The guard that had received the radio transmission entered the room again, but she barely noticed.

Daniel nodded. "Somehow he must have gotten the information that you are doing better. He's still on the surface, waiting for General Hammond, but he'll be down here soon."

"Help me get out of here, Daniel, please," Sam pleaded again.

"I don't even know how," Daniel said, hesitating.

"I only need to get out of these restraints, a zat and the guards to turn their back for a couple of minutes, nothing else. I will try to get out on my own."

Daniel shook his head. "Sam... maybe if you talked to Jack and General Hammond again, maybe they can help."

"Maybourne is on his way, Daniel. You know how the NID is – there will be no discussion once they are down here. I really don't have a lot of time left." Sam hoped that the guards couldn't hear her, as she had no idea what they thought of this whole situation, but she also couldn't be very careful right now. Several minutes had already passed since the airman had spoken to someone on the surface. They could be on their way down to her already.

"It's a lot to ask, Sam."

She was so close.

"I know. But I want to be me again. The Tok'ra might help with that. And I am scared of what the NID do to me. The chance to study a live Goa'uld – they won't even try to understand what the difference to a Tok'ra is, much less help me." Sam hoped he understood the things she wasn't saying out loud – whatever they would do to her, they would also do to Sha're if... when Daniel brought her home.

Sam knew she had him at that point. She felt sorry for what she was doing – helping her would not go down well with the NID – but not enough to not do it.

"I hope you know what you are doing, Sam. Gosh, I hope that you are Sam."

Daniel got up and went over to the guards. They were just out of hearing range for Sam, but she could see them shaking their heads at first, then handing Daniel a zat gun and leaving the room. One of the guards raised his hand and indicated with two fingers just how many minutes they were giving Daniel before they would return. Daniel came over to Sam's bed again and after a look back at the closed door started to take off her restraints.

"Thank you," she just said when he was done and handed her the zat gun. Sam went to one of the infirmary lockers to get herself some of the green standard BDUs that were worn by SGC personnel. Daniel looked at her quizzically at first, but then turned around. Sam thought she saw him blush a bit. There was no time for embarrassment, the guards wouldn't be waiting forever.

> _ Okay, let's do this._

  
Sam could feel her control over her body slipping away and it only took moments until Jolinar made a move in shooting Daniel with the zat gun. She mentally thanked Jolinar for that; it would give Daniel some way to cover up his role in this. She didn't know how Daniel would explain sending the guards away and how he would explain her having the gun to shoot him with after being restrained, but he would think of something.

Jolinar also lost no time with the guards that had just left the infirmary and shot them before they realized what was happening.

The actual escape from the base was surprisingly easy. The infirmary was very close to the gate room and therefore the control room and it was apparently still the middle of the night. The corridors leading to the control room were empty and even the control room was only staffed by two people.

Sam had a suspicion that gate travel had been suspended, but she couldn't exactly ask anyone. Jolinar was very fast at handling the control computer, probably also because she could access Sam's memories of using it, and the gate started to dial mere minutes after they had left the infirmary.

> _ There will be a base-wide alarm any second now. You need to hurry._

  
Jolinar hurried down the steps, shot an airman that stood in the way and opened the door to the gate room with a security card she had swiped from one of the gate technicians.

The alarm went off the moment they arrived in the gate room and seconds before the Stargate connected to its counterpart on the other end of the wormhole. Jolinar looked up to the gate room and there were definitely people moving in there.

"Captain Carter, stand down immediately."

But she was already almost at the event horizon. They wouldn't be able to close the iris fast enough. Sam knew they would shut down the gate immediately and was sure they wouldn't make it, but they did. They had fled from Stargate Command.


	2. Co-existence

They gated to another planet directly after arriving at the sandy planet Jolinar had chosen as their first destination. This one was cold and it was hailing, but they didn't stay long, either, just long enough to dial out again. The third was another desert planet. On the next step, they arrived in the middle of a forest.

> *This should be enough to keep anyone off our tracks.*

  
Sam could feel how she was given back full control by Jolinar. It was a strange feeling, getting control back from one second to another. Still, it only took her moments to adjust, and she walked away from the Stargate a bit. She could hear water, which just made her realize how thirsty she was.

Sam detected the small stream a few hundred yards away and drank the fresh, cool water, hoping that if it wasn't drinkable Jolinar could at the very least keep her from getting sick. It made her feel much better and she knew that Jolinar also needed a little rest – her body was almost done healing by now, but still not fully.

Thinking about what Jolinar – but with her agreement - had just done made her uncomfortable. Just going against regulations and orders like that, it wasn't like her. Sure, there had been some threat, but it certainly hadn't been a life-and-death situation. Sam wondered how much Jolinar was influencing her thoughts and behavior. Jolinar did appear a bit more reckless, twice now she had switched hosts in a life-threatening situation.

Sam pushed the thought aside, trying to focus on what was temporarily more important.

> _ What now?_
> 
> *This world is under the control of a System Lord, but is ruled by a Tok'ra operative. We need to contact him and hope that he knows the current location of the Tok'ra base.*
> 
> _ So you don't actually know where they are?_
> 
> *The base moves a lot and is a well-guarded secret. If no one follows us here it should be safe to gate to the Tok'ra base, make contact with them and make contact with your people afterwards.*
> 
> _ Still, couldn't they actually be at the location you last know of?_

  
Sam was starting to get suspicious. Jolinar's explanations seemed rather thin. What was she hiding?

> *It's highly unlikely. It has been months since I saw a fellow Tok'ra.*
> 
> _And instead of just going there and looking you just decide to take the longer way and check with this operative?_
> 
> *As I said, it is highly unlikely. Also, I wish to be updated on certain events before going before the Council.*

  
Sam decided to give up. This was just taking up time and she could hardly force Jolinar to do anything she didn't want to do. This wasn't a relationship of equals, she thought bitterly.

> _ How do we find the Tok'ra operative?_
> 
> *There is a village not far from the gate. He should be there, and and I will speak to him then.*

  
The village was close to where they were. It reminded Sam of one of the first planets they had visited. The medieval village was surrounded by a narrow city wall, built almost directly in the forest. High trees surrounded the wall, separated from it by a ten meter stretch where the trees had been cut. The wall itself was a bit lower than her body height, not much protection from anyone. Sam guessed that it was protection against wild animals more than protection from intruders.

Sam looked around and saw that the village itself was rather big. When she saw no one watching her, she climbed over the wall. She landed in an open space of a few strides width before the village began with a few small houses directly in front of her. She walked towards the nearest house, contemplating whether she should enter it to get some clothes to blend in, when she caught the flash of movement beside her out of the corner of her eye. Years of reflexes kicked in and she spun around, her right hand at her zat gun.

"Don't hurt me."

Sam relaxed a bit. It was just a child, a girl no older than eleven years, eyes wide open in surprise at the sudden movement.

Sam kneeled down, going down to the girl's level. "I won't hurt you. You've got nothing to worry about."

"You are not from here." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. And with what she was wearing, Sam knew where the girl got that impression from.

"No, I am not. I am a traveler." Sam didn't want to reveal more than that.

"But you are nice." Again, not a question. That girl must have not have many experiences with people from outside before. Or at least not very good ones.

Sam smiled. "Can you help me? I need some other clothes. Do you know where I can get some?" Sam tried to make her voice as friendly as possible. She didn't want to scare the child in any way. If she ran away to get adults and they saw her that would not be a good start on this mission.

"My parents and brothers are at the market right now. I could get you something from them. They like to help people. Come." She waved her hand and started running towards one of the nearest houses.

Sam was a bit surprised – that girl was awfully trusting. It was a nice change from all those planets inhabited by suspicious people who they first needed to convince weren't going to be hurt by them.

> *Talkar is a rather benevolent ruler.*
> 
> _ **Rather** benevolent?_
> 
> *He does have to pose as a Goa'uld without raising suspicion.*

  
Sam did not need to ask to know what that meant. It shouldn't have surprised her, but she still did not know a lot about the Tok'ra. She had just assumed them to be very peaceful and friendly beings. Maybe they weren't. Sam did not know whether Jolinar had really stopped reading her thoughts or whether she just chose to ignore this particular train of thoughts, but she was glad to let that topic rest for now and didn't respond.

The girl led her into the house through the back door. The ceiling was low and the room not very well-lit, but Sam liked what she saw. It was a very cozy living room with a few chairs, a big table and a fireplace.

"Wait here." The girl went through the door on the other side of the room and Sam could hear her run up a set of stairs shortly afterward. It didn't take her long to return holding out a pack of clothes to Sam.

"Thank you." Sam took the clothes from the girl – a long, brown, linen-like skirt and a woolen brown shirt. It would definitely make her fit in better on this planet than the green BDUs.

"I'll bring you something to eat."

Before Sam could protest, the girl was already gone from the room again and Sam used the time before she returned to change into the new clothes. Skirts were not her favorite type of clothing, especially when they came with this many... frills. She grimaced as she noticed the flowery lining on the shirt, but knew it could have been worse, remembering that awful dress she had been given once on another planet.

At least she wasn't here to fight, but to get to the Tok'ra operative. That included not drawing the attention of any passing Jaffa to herself. And there would be Jaffa. She carefully hid the zat gun in the waistband of the skirt and hoped it would go unnoticed.

The girl returned with a cup of water and two slices of plain bread. She handed the items to Sam.

"Thank you," Sam said again and started eating from the bread. She wasn't feeling particularly hungry, but she also knew she couldn't rely on always having food readily available.

The girl looked up at Sam. She was very pretty for a girl that young, Sam noticed, dark brown hair and blue eyes, some freckles scattered around her nose. "Where are you going?" she asked.

"I need to see someone," Sam answered, still not sure just how much the population of this planet liked or feared their ruler.

> *We cannot risk people knowing where we are going.*
> 
> _ Oh come on , she's just a kid._

  
"Who?"

> *A child who will remember that you wore strange clothes when you came here.*

  
Sam almost groaned at Jolinar's stubbornness, but backed down. There was no point in arguing. She shook her head. "I'm sorry, I can't tell you."

"Well, do you know where to find that person? I could guide you there, I know my way around," the girl exclaimed proudly.

> *We do not need any extra attention. What if someone knows that girl and enquires who we are?*
> 
> _ You've made your point._

  
Sam was getting annoyed by Jolinar, but smiled at the child. She really liked the girl. "I am sure I will find him."

The girl looked very disappointed for a moment, but then seemed to catch herself again. "Good, then. I hope you find him."

Sam picked up her old clothing and moved towards the door. "Thank you, dear."

The girl just smiled at her, and Sam walked towards the city wall again. The ground was very loose and it didn't take her long to bury her old clothes there. It wasn't like she needed them and yet it still it felt weird to her. And only now did she realize she had never asked the girl that had been so nice to her for her name.

> _ Village center, I suppose?_
> 
> *Yes, quite a remarkable palace, if I recall correctly. I saw pictures.*
> 
> _ Have you ever met this guy?_
> 
> *A few times, yes. But it has been many years. Most Tok'ra spend a lot of years apart from the others.*

  
The village was big, as Sam had thought. It was an advantage, as no one seemed to look at her twice as she made her way towards the center. She didn't see any Jaffa on her way.

After half an hour of walking in the vague direction of the center, Sam reached a market. Merchants were shouting, praising the things they offered, trying to attract customers. People bargained loudly, children ran around screaming and chasing each other. It started to rain lightly, which didn't seem to bother any of the villagers.

The palace was, as Jolinar had said, quite remarkable. White sandstone with elaborate carvings and copper roofs made it look very new and inviting. The Jaffa guards standing in front of the short path leading to it did not further that impression. It would be hard sneaking into this place.

> _ And we get in how?_
> 
> *Through the front door.*
> 
> _ Of course. Piece of cake, right?_
> 
> *I suppose that is meant to be sarcastic and humorous.*

  
Sam inwardly rolled her eyes. The Tok'ra, or at least this Tok'ra, did not seem to share the same sense of humor as humans on Earth did.

> _ Never mind._
> 
> *I will not mind. However, I will get us in. Through the front door.*

  
Sam felt the same sensation as in the infirmary, and then she watched as Jolinar walked towards the guards with her body. She looked them right into the eyes and didn't stop until she stood right before the three guards. It made Sam uncomfortable, and she was even a bit glad that she wasn't in control right now. These guards were intimidating.

"Who are you?" one of the Jaffa guard demanded. His staff weapon was not raised yet, but Sam knew it wouldn't take much to change that situation.

"That is none of your concern." Jolinar spoke with the Goa'uld voice. "I demand to see Lord Talkar."

> _Are you crazy?_

  
Jolinar did not react to Sam's objection. The Jaffa seemed a bit taken aback by the sudden appearance by one of their gods, but did not move.

"Lord Talkar is not expecting any visitors."

Jolinar paused a bit before answering, looking at all three Jaffa in turn. "Of course he does not expect me. I have come bearing vital and privileged information for him. If you send me away, do so at your own risk, and let me assure you that Lord Talkar will not be pleased with you for it."

Sam had to admit, Jolinar was very good at this. A bit too good, maybe. Did the Tok'ra share the natural arrogance of the Goa'uld? She still knew so little about the being inside of her, but the arrogance had already shone through earlier. Jolinar was very sure of herself and that what she did was the right way to do so. Sam, on the other hand, was nervous in the face of decisions.

"I will inform our Master of your presence and see whether he will see you," one of the other two Jaffa chimed in and bowed.

"You will take me to him now. It is urgent."

To Sam's utmost surprise, it actually worked. The Jaffa appeared to be very concerned with the possibility of angering his Lord and waved for one of the guards to remain at the palace entrance. He kept very close watch on Jolinar and Sam as they marched into the palace, the other Jaffa running ahead of them. They walked down a few wide corridors with marble floors and walls and elaborate drawings on the ceilings. Someone really liked showing off, Sam concluded. All Goa'uld seemed to.

One of the Jaffa knocked on a large wooden door with floral carvings at the end of one of the corridors and after a few seconds, opened it. Behind it was a large audience room with a throne-like chair in the middle. A tall dark-haired man stood before it, dressed in blue robes. There were two Jaffa standing around in the room, staff weapons at the ready.

Jolinar stepped into the room and bowed to the man.

"Lord Talkar, I was sent to bring you information."

"And that information could not have been brought by a Jaffa?" Talkar had a very deep, intimidating voice.

Sam's face remained completely expressionless. "It is sensitive information that I did not wish to entrust someone else with."

"And I am talking to who exactly?"

"My name is Epione."

It was only visible for a second, but something in Talkar's face changed.

> _ I assume that is a code word?_
> 
> *Of sorts, yes.*

  
"Leave us alone."Talkar waved his hand dismissively at the Jaffa in the room, and they left the room though on the opposite end of the room as Sam. When they were gone, Talkar motioned at Sam and Jolinar to come closer.

"So, who am I actually talking to?" Talkar whispered into her ear.

"Jolinar of Malkshur. I need to know the base location." Jolinar was equally quiet and had stopped using the Goa'uld voice.

"And I should help you why?" came the reply.

"Because I did the same thing for you once. Do not waste my time."

"We have not heard from you in almost a season. We thought you were dead."

"I am not. And I need the location." Sam felt the growing impatience.

"I do not think it has changed since you left. But I am not always kept in the loop, seeing as I do not leave this planet a lot."

Sam only barely resisted the urge to tell Jolinar 'I told you so'. She would do so later.

Jolinar either chose not to comment on that or did not listen. "Who sent the Ash'rak?" she asked the other Tok'ra.

Talkar shook his head. "I do not know."

"But you knew that one was sent?"

"I did hear that one was being sent for you, yes. But we had no way of knowing where you were to warn you. Are you suspecting someone?"

"I am fairly certain it was Cronus. So you have heard nothing about it from him?"

Talkar's expression hardened again. "Cronus does not trust in me as much as I would like. I hope you are not suggesting I knew of something and did not warn you."

Sam was fairly certain Jolinar was at least on some level suspecting him of having known something. There was obvious hostility in the air.

"No, I am merely asking," Jolinar responded with what sounded to Sam's ears like very forced politeness.

"Very well, then. Is there anything else I can help you with, Jolinar?"

Sam was starting to get very curious as to the shared history between those two. Either those very few meetings had been very heated or Jolinar had lied to her. This did not sound like they shared a passing, but friendly, acquaintance.

"No. I will take my leave now."

"You put me at risk by coming here, do you know that?" Talkar sounded annoyed.

"Yes, I do. But I am certain you can handle the situation. Only a few of your Jaffa saw me."

Jolinar turned away from Talkar and walked towards the door without so much as a farewell greeting. Two Jaffa were standing on the other side of it and escorted them to the front door.

> _ So that is why we came here? So you could accuse this person? _
> 
> *I did plan to question him on it, yes. But I did not accuse him of anything. And there was never any risk of him hurting us, if that is what you are concerned about.*

  
Sam felt Jolinar giving her back control over her body as they walked towards the market they had crossed earlier.

> _That is at least one of my concerns. There was no need to go here._
> 
> *Probably not. It was my fault, and I apologize.*

  
Sam didn't reply, and they were quiet for the rest of the way to the Stargate. The city wall was still unguarded and Sam could just climb over it again, leaving the village behind her. No one stopped her from dialing the address and going through the Stargate

* * *

Sam stepped out of the gate and onto a desert world. She concentrated on drawing from Jolinar's memories and could feel something inside her mind open like a door. The Tok'ra usually chose desert planets for their base, because they were easier to survey. Sam briefly wondered why having this knowledge that wasn't actually hers did not feel strange and alien, but completely natural. This was the first time it felt like that, and it was a very strange thing to her. She wondered whether she had just managed to draw something from Jolinar's mind without her knowing or whether Jolinar had given her that knowledge on purpose, but didn't dare to ask.

The Stargate closed behind her and she looked around some more, but there didn't seem to be much except for sand and a couple of dunes.

> _Where do we go now?_
> 
> *They will be somewhere near the Stargate. They will notice us, so you best throw away your weapon now.*

  
Sam didn't feel comfortable with that, but so far Jolinar hadn't actively tried to harm her and since she was alone, she would be overpowered anyway. She couldn't defend herself against several people with one zat, and Jolinar could in any case take control over her body any time she wanted to help her people. She wouldn't stand a chance against that.

On some level, Sam had always been aware she was not in control of her own body, even when Jolinar allowed her to freely act. But right now, standing defenseless on an alien planet, the feeling really got to her. Jolinar being in control had felt uncomfortable before as well. But the knowledge that if Jolinar really wanted to, she didn't have to pay attention to Sam's wishes regarding who controlled her body was different. She felt powerless, even though she was convinced that Jolinar meant her no harm. Still, that didn't mean Sam trusted Jolinar. A Tok'ra symbiote was not like the trio of guys she trusted day in and out with her life.

What do I do when they find us?

> *You should probably let me talk to them. I know who to ask for.*

  
That didn't ease Sam's mind. On top of that, Sam knew that Jolinar was leaving something out. While Sam could certainly tell that Jolinar was being honest, there was something more about the feelings she could sense from the symbiote than just relief or contentment from being back at what Jolinar probably called home. There were deeper feelings there.

She did not press Jolinar for anything, though, and just walked away from the gate a bit. The nearest dune looked like as good a starting point as any, so Sam started climbing it. Unsurprisingly, when she reached the top she could see miles and miles of desert with a few dunes stretching ahead of her.

It was quiet for another fifteen minutes, by which point Sam was ready to just sit down or gate back to the planet she had come from, but Jolinar told her it would take some time. They were probably watching her and waiting to see whether she would leave on her own or whether she would get back-up.

The world exploded in a ball of pain, and Sam fell to the ground. She hadn't heard anyone, but she had clearly been hit by a zat gun. Maybe she had been used by Jolinar all along. The thought made Sam sick to the stomach.

As the pain subsided, she found herself surrounded by four people pointing zat guns at her. They were dressed to blend in with the background, all beiges and grays. Sam felt Jolinar taking over her body and could sense that these were the people she had been expecting to find. Sam herself was still weakened by the zat blast and was seriously starting to doubt Jolinar's motives. Had Jolinar just gone into the background so that Sam would be affected by the zat hit?

> *Do not be alarmed.*
> 
> _It's kind of hard not to when you are in pain and not in control of your own body. Oh, and on an unfamiliar planet surrounded by armed people. What the heck are you doing?_

  
"Identify yourself," the man standing right in front of her demanded. Sam felt some faint recognition of the man coming from the Tok'ra inside of her.

> *I am sorry for your discomfort. It will cease soon.*

  
"Greeting, Niraf." It was always strange for Sam to somehow feel the way her eyes flashed yellow. It was a feeling she was not able to explain, but she could definitely feel it. And it wasn't a very good feeling. "I am Jolinar of Malkshur."

"Jolinar of Malkshur is dead," a woman to her right said.

"Obviously, I am not. I survived when Rosha did not and was able to evade capture in this body. And now I urgently need to talk to the Council."

At the mention of the name Rosha Sam saw an image of a beautiful woman in her mind – long blond hair and blue eyes, a very solemn expression on her face. Certainly not the man that Sam had given mouth-to-mouth to. Again, Sam concentrated a bit while Jolinar was still busy and once again found herself remembering something that she had never experienced. The man they found on Nassya had only been a temporary host after Jolinar had had to leave her host for the last few decades, Rosha. The knowledge eased Sam's mind a bit, as she could also remember some of Jolinar's feelings for her host and found nothing but respect and sadness there.

Jolinar slowly got to her feet, the paralysis being over now. The weapons were still raised, but the tension had vanished a bit from the faces of the people surrounding them.

"What is this urgent matter that needs to be discussed by the Council?" another man said.

"I will explain in due time before the Council. I do not have the patience to explain everything twice."

Only now did Sam notice that Jolinar had not used the way the Goa'uld spoke – her voice sounded like her own. The others also did seem to speak with their host's voices. Or maybe it was their hosts speaking. Sam had to admit, the concepts behind this symbiotic relationship confused her.

They searched her for more weapons, but otherwise seemed to be rather convinced of her being who Jolinar told them she was. But Sam guessed that being weapon-less and on her own made her seem rather harmless.

The Tok'ra led the way to an entrance hidden in the sand, which revealed a tunnel system made out of what appeared to be crystals. It fascinated Sam. They had seen the Goa'uld use crystals in their technology, but never as building blocks for architecture. She already had so many questions about these people.

> _ What are these tunnels made of?_
> 
> *The Tok'ra use programmed crystals in order to form tunnels and rooms. It makes moving bases a lot easier.*

  
Jolinar's explanation was short and left Sam with more questions about this fascinating and alien technology. The tunnels they walked through seemed to be largely empty, though Sam did see two other Tok'ra passing through the tunnels that regularly branched off from the one they were following. Sam wanted to ask Jolinar more questions, but after what couldn't have been more than two minutes, they arrived at an almost empty chamber and the Tok'ra motioned for them to go into there. It looked like a very plain bedroom, with only a bed, a table, one chair and one chest in it.

"I will alert the Council to your presence," Niraf said and turned to leave.

"Is Martouf here?" It was almost a whisper, but Niraf heard Jolinar and turned to face her again. Sam could feel Jolinar's inner turmoil from afar and knew the name was significant.

"He is. I shall tell him, too. I am confident he will be pleased to see you." Niraf smiled and left.

Martouf... Images of a young man came streaming through Sam's mind. Feelings of love and devotion. And she could feel how Jolinar relaxed inside of her.

> _ So, am I correct in assuming that this Martouf is… someone special?_

  
If symbiotes could blush, Jolinar would have blushed now, Sam felt.

> *You are indeed correct. Martouf and his symbiote Lantash have been partner to me and Rosha for well over two hundred of your years. Or had been.*
> 
> _Two hundred years? That's a very long time._

  
Sam was impressed and a bit intimidated by that new information. The suspicion she had felt against Jolinar earlier was weaning as Jolinar was suddenly sharing information with her. Maybe being in what was home to Jolinar made her feel better and more secure. Sam hadn't really thought about it before, but being at the SGC must have been quite terrifying for Jolinar.

> *It is. And it has been over a year since we last met*

  
Sam didn't quite know what to say to this, so she stayed quiet. Jolinar sat down on the bed, which relieved Sam as she was very tired by now and knew that very soon, she would need a lot more rest to recover than just sitting could give her.

Either only a few more minutes passed or Sam had fallen asleep without noticing, she could hear footsteps approaching and the Tok'ra standing outside made way to someone else. Sam got up from the bed and looked at the new arrival.

It was the man she had just seen in Jolinar's memories. He looked exactly as Jolinar had showed her, short brown hair, blue eyes and she could feel her heart beating faster at the sight of him. She was happy to see him.

No, Jolinar was happy to see him. Sam didn't even know him. She could see the other Tok'ra leave the hallway, but she didn't really pay attention to them.

"Is it true? Are you Jolinar?" There was faint hope in his voice, like he was afraid that she would say no.

Sam tried to open her mouth, completely forgetting that she wasn't in control right now.

"Yes, Martouf, I am. I am alive." This time, Jolinar made it apparent through her voice that it was her talking.

"I thought you were dead." Martouf walked towards them and seemed to be unsure on how to proceed, faced with someone he basically didn't know. "I am sorry, this is quite a strange situation for me as well."

> *He is talking to you.*

  
Jolinar let go of Sam's body.

"Yes... this isn't quite how I spend a normal day, either." Sam tried to laugh, but failed miserably. "Hello, my name is Samantha Carter," she finally said and extended her hand. Sam was grateful when he took it, even though it did feel very awkward to greet him so formally when a part of her just wanted to leap into his arms. She was very grateful that Jolinar didn't act on that impulse, though. She was sure that would be even more awkward.

"It is nice to meet you, Samantha Carter. My name is Martouf."

"Yes, Jolinar told me as much."

"I am sure she did." He smiled, but the smile vanished very quickly. "Can you tell me what happened to Rosha? We heard about an Ashrak being sent. We assumed she had died and Jolinar with her..." There was pain in his voice and face.

Sam did not know what to say and once again, Jolinar took over. "I was hunted by the Ashrak and left Rosha's body to protect her. I am sorry, Martouf, but I am fairly certain that she is dead."

Sam could feel the pain Jolinar felt over her former host's death and Martouf hung his head in mourning. She felt like someone listening in on a very private conversation and she did not like it. But on the other hand, what she was witnessing here was reassuring. Jolinar was handing her control and was expressing regret and sadness as the loss of her previous host. It further convinced Sam of Jolinar's sincerity of her claims. Still, this was not a moment that was supposed to be shared with a stranger.

> *There is no reason for you to feel like this, Samantha.*
> 
> _I feel like I am eavesdropping._
> 
> *I will try to limit this to a minimum. I do not wish for you to feel uncomfortable.*
> 
> _Thank you._

  
"Unfortunately, we can not dwell on this matter at the moment," Jolinar told Martouf. "I need to talk to the Council."

"About the Ashrak? We do not know who sent it."

"That, too. But there is also the matter of me needing a new host. Samantha... did not agree to this blending."

Martouf stared at her for a moment, then dropped his head. His eyes flashed and he spoke with his symbiote's voice. "What are you saying, Jolinar? You took this woman as host against her will, going against everything we stand for?" Martouf's symbiote was audibly angry.

Sam could feel that the words hit Jolinar hard. "It was a matter of life or death," Jolinar tried to explain, but before Lantash got the chance to answer another Tok'ra interrupted them.

"The Council is ready for you."

> *That was very fast.*
> 
> _ So the Council is what exactly?_
> 
> *Our leaders. The eldest and wisest of the Tok'ra. They will hopefully be able to find a new host for me so you can return to your world and live the way you did before.*

* * *

Jolinar had introduced Sam to everyone at the table, but Sam had to admit that she already couldn't remember some of the names. The faces and names all felt familiar, but rationally, Sam knew that they were new to her and that she had never seen these people before.

Martouf was there and half a dozen other Tok'ra. Martouf was not actually a member of the Council, Jolinar had told her, but Jolinar had asked for him to be there and there had been no objections.

Sam felt so tired. Jolinar had assured her that this wouldn't take long and they would get to rest soon. She just wanted Jolinar to explain the situation to the Council so they could start contacting potential hosts right away and hopefully find someone soon.

The woman who Jolinar had introduced to Sam as Garshaw spoke up first. "Jolinar of Malkshur, we are pleased to hear that you have survived the Goa'uld attack on you and sorry to hear about Rosha's fate. There will be a time to mourn her loss. While the Council is not complete in numbers at this time, and the Supreme High Councilor is unavailable for a while as well, we are eager to hear what you have to say to us."

"Thank you, Garshaw. However, I have not asked for a Council meeting to talk about the Ashrak that was sent to hunt me."

There were some raised eyebrows. Sam wondered whether Jolinar was saying this because she was suspicious of Sam and what she would do with any sensitive information learned here, but tried to push the thought aside. It wasn't doing her any good now.

"I will talk about the events that led to that in due time when I have rested and been able to fully repair my host," Jolinar concluded. "She sustained a lot of injury before the Ashrak could be killed by her people."

"Her people killed an Ashrak?" Garshaw asked.

"They did. Her name is Samantha Carter and she is one of the Tau'ri"

There was some whispering between the Council members.

> _ So they have heard of us?_
> 
> *Killing Ra left an impression.*

  
"We have heard of her and her people," Garshaw said.

Jolinar nodded. "The Tau'ri found me while I was dying. I have come here to ask the Council whether a new host for me is available and if not, to ask for one to be searched for as soon as possible," Jolinar explained the situation as calmly as possible. Sam thought she was doing quite a good job, maybe covering her blame a bit, but she couldn't really be angry at Jolinar for that. Judging by Lantash's reaction earlier, Jolinar was risking a lot of hostility.

"Why are you looking for a new host?" an elderly woman sitting to Garshaw's right said.

"Samantha Carter did not commit to being a Tok'ra host willingly,"Jolinar answered, lowering her eyes as to not look into the other woman's eyes. Sam could sense the shame this confession brought for Jolinar and indeed, the whispering started again. However, Sam was feeling quite pleased that Jolinar was coming clean now that she was being asked.

> *Please do not take anything that will be said now personally. It is only directed at me.*

  
"Are you aware of what you did, Jolinar of Malkshur?" Garshaw's voice was as harsh as Lantash's had been earlier.

"This is just... what were you thinking?" a man standing to Garshaw's right said..

"I am sure she was not thinking all that much, Thoran," Martouf's symbiote, Lantash, said softly, but making it very clear that he did not like the tone the others were talking to Jolinar in. While he did look disappointed, he didn't seem to be angry anymore.

"Even so, this does not reflect well on us as a race," another person said.

"Not at all," Garshaw agreed.

> _ Please, let me talk._
> 
> *What do you want to say?*
> 
> _ I don't know. Just let me talk, okay?_

  
"That does not change what...," Garshaw started, but was interrupted by Sam.

"No, maybe it doesn't. And I am not quite sure how you do things here and to be honest, until a few days ago I didn't even know that you existed. I'm not saying what Jolinar did was something to be proud of and I am not happy about the way things are, but she was dying. And now she's not. Blaming her for wanting to survive and doing something she can't change anymore is not helping right now."

There was a moment of silence. Sam was quite surprised by her own outburst – her own feelings towards Jolinar were still complex and sometimes changed very quickly, but the Council attacking Jolinar like that had pushed a few buttons with Sam. She couldn't fully understand Jolinar, but nevertheless Sam knew that facing death was not something that could be analyzed with pure logic. Jolinar had been terrified when the Ashrak came for her and still she had tried to save Sam. She wasn't a bad person.

But Sam hadn't even known she was this angry. She had suppressed the anger and frustration since Jolinar had entered her and now it all came pouring out. Before this, she hadn't even been able to scream at someone. It felt good to let it all go.

Then the Tok'ra that Lantash had addressed as Thoran replied. "We are very sorry for what happened to you, Samantha Carter. But you do not understand how severe Jolinar's actions were. Only taking willing hosts is one of the fundamentals of our lifestyle. Even if she did fight for her life, this is not something we look kindly upon."

Sam shook her head. Her energy and patience were draining quickly. "You are right, I don't understand your ways. And to be honest, I really don't want to right now. I am tired, and I am sharing my body with someone who I don't know, and this is all very confusing. So if instead of discussing just how bad Jolinar's actions were, or are, if you could just start to think about how to resolve this instead, I'd be very grateful."

The room fell silent again. Garshaw opened her mouth, but did not say anything. From the look on her face, she wasn't usually spoken to like this.

"It is unfortunately not that easy to resolve, Samantha," Lantash said at last.

"Why not?" Sam said, trying to get her voice calm again.

"It is not as easy as just giving Jolinar a new host. It is very rare for someone to choose to become a Tok'ra host, so we would have to look for someone. It is a problem the Tok'ra are facing every time we require a new host. This issue is not going to be resolved tomorrow."

Sam closed her eyes. This was not what she had wanted to hear. While she did not dislike Jolinar, she certainly wasn't very fond of sharing anything with her and having her own body to herself again as soon as possible would be wonderful.

> _And you couldn't have mentioned that little detail?_
> 
> *I am sorry. But now they can send people to look for someone. Sometimes, ill humans agree to the blending process because we can cure them.*

  
Sam opened her eyes again and looked at Lantash. "Then I am not asking for tomorrow. But I want it to be sometime, preferably sometime soon." Her voice was soft again, the anger subsiding. Now was the time for plans.

Lantash smiled. "We will do what we can. And you look very tired, you should rest and we can talk again afterward. We can talk about everything else some other time."

* * *

Sam did not know how long she had slept, but it must have been quite a while, because she felt rested like she hadn't felt in weeks. She never got much rest at the SGC where one crisis followed another.

> *Your body is almost healed now, Samantha.*
> 
> _Thanks._
> 
> *I will let you have control now. I am sorry I took it from you when we arrived.*
> 
> _It's okay._

  
Sam wasn't being completely honest. It had not really been okay. But dwelling on that would hardly make a difference now.

> *From now on, I will ask you.*

  
Sam was surprised by Jolinar's tone. They hadn't talked anymore after the meeting, but it sounded almost like Jolinar was being apologetic and trying to make up for everything that had happened so far.

> _ Thanks._

  
She would have liked to say more, but had no idea how to do so. Jolinar didn't reply, either and so Sam viewed the topic as closed, at least for now.

Sam opened her eyes and found herself in a room very much like the room she had briefly stayed in before the Council meeting. Tok'ra rooms did not appear to have doors, but this room was at the end of a corridor, and so she got up and changed into the clothing someone had put onto the chair. The clothes the girl on Talkar's planet had given her were dusty from when Sam had been struck down by the zat, but still she folded them neatly. Maybe she would give it back one day.

Her new clothes were the standard beige clothes the Tok'ra seemed to be so fond of. There was a glass of water and some bread on the table. She ate it as if she hadn't eaten in days. The long rest had left her hungry.

Just when she was finished, she could hear someone approaching the room. It was Martouf, carrying what looked to be like less plain food.

"Hello," he greeted her and stood in front of what would normally be the doorway.

Sam did not understand at first, but she then realized he was probably waiting to be invited by her. "Um, hi. Please, come in."

"Thank you." Martouf set the plate he had been carrying on the desk and Sam saw what looked like cookies on it.

"I thought you'd like something sweet after you woke up." He grinned and Sam thought that he looked adorable like that. "Though if you do not like it, there is of course more… normal food around here."

Sam could once again feel her heart pound a bit faster at the sound of his voice.

> _ I thought we weren't fully blended yet?_
> 
> *We are not. Not completely, which is why I can still blend out your thoughts. But we are sharing one body, so you will feel a lot of what I am feeling. I hope it does not confuse you too much.*
> 
> _ I hope so, too._

  
Sam smiled. "No, it's okay. I'll try it."

The food was delicious. Sam didn't know how it was made or what was in it, but it was sweet and tasted wonderful.

"I like it, thank you," Sam said, wiping some crumbles off her cheeks.

"You are welcome," Martouf replied and looked like he wanted to leave.

"Don't you… want to sit down?" Sam asked, not quite knowing what to do with the Tok'ra.

"Yes, thank you." Martouf sat down on the bed and after grabbing another one of the cookies, Sam saw down next to him.

"This is rather awkward for you, I suppose. I can leave if you want," Martouf said after a while. He did not look at her.

"Don't. Please stay. Do you… want to talk to her?" Sam didn't know what was appropriate in a situation like that, a thought that almost made her laugh. This really wasn't mentioned in any etiquette books.

He smiled again. "I would love to, yes. But I cannot imagine that being in any way comfortable for you and I respect that. Jolinar and I will have our chance to talk privately, hopefully very soon."

> *He is right, Samantha. We have been together for so long, we can wait another while.*

  
"I think Jolinar is agreeing with you. But she is very happy to see you." Sam didn't have to be told, she could feel that.

"I am also very glad that she is alive, and I wish to thank you for making this possible. I know you did not wish for this." Martouf looked like he was going to utter a few more apologies, so Sam decided to intervene.

"Could we please not talk about this right now? There's just so much going on in my head and it's all very confusing," she started to change the topic.

"Of course, Samantha. I can call you Samantha, right?"

Sam hadn't even noticed that he had been calling her Samantha, just like Jolinar did. "Most people call me Sam, but Samantha is fine, too."

"Samantha, then."

The Tok'ra did not seem to be big on shortening names. Or ranks and surnames, for that matter. "So what do I call you?" Sam figured that as long as he was here, she could just as well ask him a few questions and while asking Jolinar would be easier, she had the strong urge to talk to Martouf.

"Right now, you are talking to Martouf even though the lines between the host and the symbiote do become blurred after a while. Lantash is not very talkative, so you will likely be talking to me. We also try to make it audible who of us is in control. However, not all the Tok'ra do so."There was a short pause. "Do you have any other questions you would like me to answer?"Martouf seemed genuinely interested in answering her questions.

"I don't know. This is all so confusing. But... what's it like? Being so completely 'blended' that the lines become blurred?"

He thought about his answer for a while. "It is hard to explain. A Tok'ra and their host, they kind of become one being, even though they are still separate entities. I take it Jolinar did not fully blend with you?"

"She says she didn't."

Martouf nodded. "Then it is so. You would know otherwise. It will make leaving you again easier. It will... soften the blow, so to speak."

Sam didn't want to go down that line any further. "So the host and the symbiote, do they have the same feelings? Sadness, joy, anger?"she asked.

"Generally, yes." Martouf nodded.

"Love?"

"That, too."

"I can feel it. Jolinar's love for you. It's very strong." Sam looked down. This seemed almost too private to talk about with someone she barely knew, but she also felt like she had known Martouf for much, much longer. And after all, a part of her had.

"Thank you. I hope it does not bother you too much." Martouf looked a bit embarrassed by this topic.

"Strangely, it does not. It feels right."

Sam didn't know why she did it, but she took Martouf's hand into hers. His skin was warm against hers. She looked into his blue eyes and it all did really just feel right.

> *Samantha...*

  
"Samantha...," Martouf whispered, but she shook her head and he just looked at her as she slowly leaned towards him and gently kissed his lips. The kiss was not long and Sam didn't know why she was kissing him, but she felt like she needed to do it. For Jolinar and maybe even for herself.

They sat in silence for a while after the kiss, their hands still touching. Even Jolinar joined them in the silence.

"I should probably contact my people soon. They will be worried about me. I suppose that's possible?" Sam asked finally.

"I am sure it is. We will talk to the Council later."

"That would be good. They'll be looking for me." Sam did not mention the way in which she escaped. She was not yet sure how she would get herself out of this mess.

* * *

Less than an hour later, Sam once again stood before the Tok'ra High Council.

"I want to meet with my people," she said, having discussed what she wanted to discuss with Jolinar beforehand.

"We cannot let you disclose our base location, are you aware of that?" Thoran said.

Sam nodded. "I am."

"Do you wish to return to your people?" Garshaw asked, her tone making it very clear that she would not allow this to happen even if Sam wished to do so.

"I want to make a proposition. To my people and to you," Sam said.

"What kind of proposition?"

"I... We think an alliance between Earth and the Tok'ra would be a worthy endeavor for both sides."

Thoran looked skeptical. "For both sides?"

Sam knew that he wasn't talking about what they could offer to the humans. She was slowly getting used to the Tok'ra arrogance. "We have made several friends throughout the galaxy. And we have weapons. We managed to get rid of Ra and of the Ashrak."

The Council members nodded, but did not seem to be convinced yet.

> *Your world has a lot more to offer.*
> 
> _Like what?_
> 
> *Humans.*

  
Of course. The Tok'ra were constantly short on hosts and Earth had over 6 billion people. Though Sam doubted that even without the Stargate's secrecy there would be a lot of volunteers. She wasn't going to tell them of that problem yet, though. "There is more. Earth is home to more people than I have ever seen on another world. It might well be the planet with the biggest population. It's where humans come from, after all."

The Council was visibly impressed by this.

"What do you propose we do now?" one of the Council members asked.

"I would like to contact Earth and propose a meeting on a neutral planet to them. Something uninhabited. Small delegations from each race for the first meeting."

Garshaw looked around and as she heard no objections, nodded. "We will think about it, Samantha. Our decision will not take long."

* * *

Several hours later, Sam had her answer, and it surprised her how anxious she became. She was about to make contact with the SGC.

Everything had changed so much in the space of a few days and the last day had been so eventful that she didn't even know what to say to her superiors and her friends. She didn't know what would happen next or what she wanted to happen. Now that she had rested Sam felt good physically, but the emotional confusion had not been made better neither by talking to Martouf nor by the meeting with the Council.

> *You are nervous, Samantha.*
> 
> _Way to state the obvious._
> 
> *It will be fine.*
> 
> _I basically blackmailed Daniel, took out several guards and hijacked the gate. It's not fine._
> 
> *But it will be.*

  
Sam shook her head. She knew Jolinar was supposed to be older and therefore probably also wiser, but that didn't help much at the moment.

The Tok'ra had a device with which she could communicate with the SGC by video, and they sent two people with her, one of them Martouf. Her escort kept some distance to her while she dialed, but they were close enough so they would be able to hear what she said.

Once at the Stargate, she dialed the DHD. The wormhole established and Sam activated the communication device just like Martouf had shown her. "This is Captain Samantha Carter calling Stargate Command,"she said, hoping the device worked as intended.

Sam knew that the iris was closed and that it would not be opened for her after she had left like that; that this was her only chance of communicating with the SGC.

"This is Stargate Command, please identify yourself," Sam heard the familiar voice of Sergeant Harriman. Since Walter usually did day shifts Sam suspected it was daytime on Earth right now. That meant the General would be there as well.

"Sergeant, this is Captain Samantha Carter. I would like to talk to General Hammond and SG-1, please."

"They are on their way. Please stand by."

There was an audible change when Sergeant Harriman switched off the audio connection. Sam knew the General always hurried to the gateroom when the gate was activated but it would take SG-1 a bit longer to get there.

The audio was activated again and at first Sam didn't hear anyone speaking, just some noise in the background. But then the SGC activated their video transmission system and she could see Colonel O'Neill. He looked tired.

"Carter," he greeted her while in the background, Sam could see Daniel coming into the control room.

"It's good to see you, Colonel," Sam tried to make friendly conversation while they were waiting for everyone to show up. She'd really rather talk with everyone present and being able to listen.

"Yeah, same here." Colonel O'Neill's voice made it pretty clear that he was not completely happy right now. Sam understood: For all he knew and especially after what happened the day before he had to suspect she was a Goa'uld, or at the very least not very trustworthy, right now.

General Hammond and Teal'c followed soon. Sam didn't need to look around to know that the two Tok'ra were still close enough to hear her, but not so close that the SGC would see them.

"Captain Carter," the General greeted her. "You have given us quite the scare."The way he said it left no doubt that scare was being taken quite seriously. She did after all have a lot of knowledge over the SGC. And Sam also heard the mistrust in his and Colonel O'Neill's words.

"I apologize for that, General. I had to take that risk."

"You realize your departure did nothing to calm down the NID, nor did it do anything to convince us that your claims of not being a Goa'uld are sincere." The General folded his arms, his mouth hard around the edges.

"Yes, sir. I thought so."

"The NID left a few hours ago, but they are investigating your escape." General Hammond now really didn't look happy. Sam could just imagine how the NID was asking questions he really didn't want to answer.

"I am sorry for any problems I have caused. But I am almost sure I can make up for it."

"Where are you right now, Sam?" Daniel spoke up.

Sam smiled. "I am with the Tok'ra, at their current main base. They wish to meet with the Tau'ri."

"Whoa, not so fast. You still got that thing inside of you then?" Colonel O'Neill asked.

Sam could feel herself getting angry on behalf of Jolinar. How could he ignore what she had just said in favor of insulting Jolinar again? "That thing has a name, Colonel." Even while she said it, she knew that this wasn't a good way to speak to the Colonel. She should have just ignored him.

"Jolinar of whatever, then. How are we supposed to trust that you are truly yourself the way you left, Captain?" Colonel O'Neill was getting equally annoyed. "It's a lot to ask from us that we meet with them if we have reason to believe they are not trustworthy."

Sam shrugged. "I suppose you'll just have to take that leap of faith, Colonel. The Tok'ra have agreed to meet with you on a neutral planet of your choosing..."

"I am sorry Captain, but I agree with Colonel O'Neill. It is a lot to ask for us to send a team into what could very well be a trap," General Hammond said.

"You are really going to let this opportunity pass? General, I..." Daniel said, but was cut off by the General.

"I am not letting anything pass here, Doctor Jackson. I am just proposing it might be a bad idea to send a team to that planet right now."

> *I am not sure whether they would do it, but we could ask the Tok'ra to send a delegation to Earth.*
> 
> _ I'm not sure they'd go for that. My people have the same security concerns as yours have, even though we have a shield over our Stargate._
> 
> *It cannot hurt to ask, can it?*

  
Sam sighed, not convinced by the idea, but asked the General anyway. "If you agree to that, General, I can ask the Tok'ra to send a delegation to Earth."

The General took a moment to think this idea over, then sighed as well. "The NID is having a field day already, I don't think we can risk that right now." There was another moment of silence, then the General's face turned soft. "If you contact us again in a few hours, we will send the coordinates of a suitable planet through and will agree on a time for the meeting. We just need some time to discuss this."

"Thank you, General," Sam said, relieved at this turn in the conversation. She looked at Martouf who stood to her right and smiled. She would have liked to introduce him to SG-1 already, but that was probably best left to the official meeting.

"Talk to you again soon, Captain Carter," General Hammond said and closed the wormhole connection.

Sam had been disappointed during the conversation, but she knew the General was in a very delicate position right now. Having one of your soldiers with a potentially hostile alien consciousness in herself escape from the base was very likely not something that went well with the Pentagon and the NID. She wondered whether they were being hard on Daniel for helping her and made a note to apologize to him again when she saw him. Which would hopefully be soon.

* * *

The coordinates of the planet the SGC had chosen as a rendezvous point were unknown to both Sam and the Tok'ra. This did not please the Council, but in the end, Martouf and Jolinar could convince them that they could trust both Sam and her people.

"The Tau'ri are rightfully as concerned about their safety as the Tok'ra," Jolinar argued. "They have made a lot of enemies among the Goa'uld already."

"And we are concerned about our own safety, you know that Jolinar,"Garshaw replied. "We cannot afford taking risks like that."

"We have to," Martouf spoke up. "You know as well as I do that we are fighting a battle that we might not win here. We can need their help. And for that, someone needs to take the first step in trusting the other side."

Sam was surprised by Martouf advocating for her like that and also very grateful. Another point by Jolinar, telling the Council that the Ta'uri had already proven that they were worthy of their trust by killing Ra had finally brought the Council to a positive decision.

"We are called Tok'ra because of that Goa'uld, after all," Jolinar later told Sam, which made Sam wonder why she hadn't thought of that before. It seemed so obvious in hindsight. Well, obvious with her knowledge now. She wasn't Daniel, after all.

A few hours later, Sam looked at the Stargate spinning in order to connect them with the gate at the address she had been given. She knew that the SGC would have already secured the area around the Stargate on the planet they would meet on before the Tok'ra and Sam arrived. There would be soldiers and likely SG-1 would be present.

Sam didn't know how many people they could send now that they had the NID on their hands. There were a few trained people on the SGC's payroll that had experience with diplomacy – after the first few SG-teams started to run into problems General Hammond had insisted on having those to fix the mess the teams got themselves into on a regular basis. Maybe they would send one of those negotiators. Maybe someone with that sort of training could keep Colonel O'Neill from offending the Tok'ra delegation. Not that Sam would bet on it.

As the wormhole connection established, Sam looked around. The Tok'ra delegation consisted of Garshaw, Niraf, Thoran, Martouf and two others who Sam had been introduced to, one of them a member of the High Council, but she had been introduced to so many by Jolinar that the names had started to blur together. She could ask Jolinar, but it wasn't that important. She had, however, since been informed that in the absence of the High Councilor Per'sus, Garshaw was the leader and spokesperson of the Tok'ra.

Garshaw had at one point been against Sam joining them, but had seen the benefit of taking her with them in the end, after Jolinar and Martouf had protested that taking Sam with them would be a great advantage. It would show their good faith and the humans from Earth would have a familiar face there.

> *You are nervous. But I am confident this meeting will go well, Samantha.*
> 
> _I wish I could share that sentiment._
> 
> *Our people have a lot in common and much to learn from each other. I have learned that from you even in our short time together.*

  
"We are ready to depart," Martouf said close to her.

Sam just nodded and followed the others as they stepped through the gate one after the other.

On the other side, they stepped out onto on open field, with no opportunities for cover anywhere in sight, except for what looked like a make-shift off-world base made of tents. Earth's delegation was standing between the gate and those tents, to Sam's right side and Sam's heart beat a bit faster when she saw her team. Teal'c and Jack were standing with a few other military members who all had a string grip on their weapons, while Daniel was standing with people Sam only recognized from seeing them in passing. Most likely they were from the cultural departments. All of them looked rather tense until the Stargate disengaged behind the small Tok'ra group. Then they walked towards the Tok'ra.

Both the Tok'ra and the humans loosened their holds on their weapons, but there was still visible tension. This whole meeting was an exercise in trust between two groups that as of yet had no reason to trust each other.

When the groups stood in front of each other, Garshaw bowed in greeting. "It is a great honor for us to finally meet the Ta'uri," she said, using her host's voice, but Sam was pretty sure it was the symbiote speaking. "I am Garshaw of Belote."

"As it is for us to meet your people," said a woman standing next to Daniel. "My name is Katherine Green, I am one of the representatives of Earth and will speak on Earth's behalf as well as that can be done."

The two groups introduced themselves to each other politely and without any incident. The tone on both sides was polite and a bit distant. Sam noted that the name of the other member of the High Council was Selmak.

"We have heard a lot about the work of the Ta'uri," one of the Tok'ra delegates said.

"To be honest, we have never heard of the Tok'ra before now," Katherine Green responded. "How can it be that your existence is such a secret?"

Garshaw answered that question. "It is not a secret in the strictest sense. Every Goa'uld knows of our existence through the genetic memory. However, the Goa'uld do not like to speak of us so that their followers don't know that they face opposition. Only the Jaffa in their highest ranks know that they are not going against Goa'uld, but against Tok'ra when they are sent on missions against us."

The woman nodded. The explanation made a lot of sense to Sam as well. Which Goa'uld would want their followers to know that they were facing infiltration from within?

"We have come here to negotiate an alliance based on our mutual goal of overthrowing the Goa'uld," Garshaw added. "There is much we would have to share in an alliance. But what would you have to offer to such an arrangement?"

Sam was a bit taken aback by the swift proceeding of this conversation. The Tok'ra were being very direct with what they wanted instead of following the 'make small-talk first' rule Sam knew from far too many Pentagon meetings.

"Well, first we'd have to be assured that you are who you say you are, wouldn't we? We never heard of the Tok'ra before the incident with Captain Carter, so you'll hopefully understand that we are a bit skeptical as to whether your intentions are true and you are who you say you are," Daniel said.

Garshaw's eyes flashed. She seemed angry at this statement, but took a moment to compose herself before answering. "The Tok'ra are as opposed to the Goa'uld as the Ta'uri are. Our methods may be less direct as the methods of your people, but we have worked against the Goa'uld in our own way for many centuries. We oppose the ways of the Goa'uld and would never enslave humans, let ourselves be worshiped as gods or take humans as hosts against their wills."

"If the Tok'ra are so noble, why was my team member taken against her will?" Daniel responded, visible annoyed by the tone of the answer he had received.

Sam saw a diplomatic nightmare coming on. She opened her mouth to say something, but was stopped by Jolinar.

> *I think everything you say now is likely going to sound as though it was coming from me. I think it would not be a good idea.*

  
Niraf answered the Colonel. "That action was a breach of Tok'ra law and be assured that it will be dealt with accordingly. Our Council has started discussing the matter of Jolinar's misconduct."

Sam raised an eyebrow. That had been fast.

"Let's hope so," Jack mumbled just loud enough to be heard, but not loud enough that the Tok'ra could actually react to that.

Katherine Greene finally broke the uncomfortable silence. "We hope that these unfortunate circumstances of our meeting do not impose a strain on our relations. The Ta'uri are very interested in negotiating an alliance between our two people."

"That is very much our hope as well," the Tok'ra who had introduced herself as Selmak responded. "As Garshaw has said said before, we have much to share in an alliance. We have dozens of operatives who are gathering intelligence on all of the System Lords and some minor Goa'uld and while we may not be large in numbers, we make up for that with in organization and commitment. An alliance always has two sides, though, as Garshaw already said. This is why we must ask what the Ta'uri have to offer us."

Daniel hesitated a few seconds. "Well, for one thing, we are a fellow enemy of the Goa'uld. We were thinking of things like shared intelligence, coordinated attacks, that would benefit both sides."

Garshaw raised her eyebrows. "We have observed your methods since you killed Ra and found them to be a bit... reckless and uncoordinated."

Sam didn't like where this was going. It certainly wasn't going as well as she had hoped, though maybe not as bad as she had feared. There was visible tension between the fractions, no one seemed to be very at ease, but so far everyone had restrained themselves.

"Well, we not only killed Ra, but also blew up two of Apophis's mother ships. That has to account for something," Daniel said in defense of Earth.

"That was your doing?" Garshaw exclaimed, obviously agitated. "We lost several of operatives on board these ships."

Katherine Greene looked apologetic. "We are very sorry you lost people through that. However, Apophis was about to attack our planet, and we were only defending ourselves."

Selmak sighed, but nodded. "In that case, you were of course well within your right to do so. But please understand that we lost people very dear to our hearts due to this action, which will take time to heal. And nevertheless, I stand by my comment that your methods appear too reckless to us. They are very different from our own approach."

The diplomat nodded. "From what happened to Captain Carter we can also assume that there are... other things we might be able to help you with?"

It was clear what she meant and still Sam could see some confusion around her, especially on the Colonel's face. Maybe it was better that way.

"As Garshaw said, the Tok'ra only take willing hosts," Martouf said. "Oftentimes, these are ill people that we then provide with our healing abilities. Other times, they want to help us in our quest to fight the Goa'uld. That was the case for me, as an example."

The Colonel opened his mouth to say something, but Daniel raised a hand to stop him. "Well, that's a start. I mean, we can't guarantee you something like that, obviously. But that's a common ground. And differences are good. It's a way our people can compliment each other, learn from each other."

Sam had to admit, both Doctor Greene and Daniel were rather good at this. While Garshaw didn't look too convinced by this, she nodded and her features softened. "I will make sure we consider this when we discuss that on our planet."

Daniel looked like he was about to say something else, but then closed his mouth again. Garshaw had not very subtly noted that she considered this meeting to be over already.

"We will contact you again very soon, after our Council has met and talked about these new developments. Our High Councilor is unavailable at the moment, so this may take some time."

"We understand and thank you for considering the thought of an alliance," Katherine Greene said.

The Tok'ra delegation bowed. Sam looked at Daniel, not happy that this meeting was already over and contemplating asking whether she could stay behind with SG-1.

But Daniel was faster. "We would like to take Sam with us,"he said.

Sam was quite taken aback by this. Wasn't the NID just dying to get their hands on her, after all?

Garshaw raised one eyebrow in surprise, but otherwise her facial expression revealed nothing. "I understand your feeling, but I am afraid that will not be possible. As I understand it, Jolinar was your prisoner for some time and is still facing that danger now."

"And right now, Carter seems to be your prisoner, or is there something I am not getting here?" O'Neill said, backing Daniel.

Sam didn't know whether to be glad they were caring so much for her or annoyed by the way they were talking to Garshaw. This did not bode well for further meeting. But Sam wanted to be with SG-1 right now, not surrounded by Tok'ra she barely knew and so she hoped the Tok'ra would back down a little.

"She is certainly not our prisoner," Garshaw responded.

Sam raised an eyebrow. Now that was just a plain lie. "Really, so I can leave whenever I want to?"

> *Samantha...*
> 
> _Jolinar, right now it would really be best if you could just shut up._

  
Sam knew she was being harsh. Jolinar seemed to get the clue, though, and didn't say anything further. Sam sighed. "Look, I can't really go back to Earth right now, can I?" she said in the direction of Daniel, who first shrugged first, but then shook his head.

"The situation back there is... complicated right now," he said. Sam didn't really want to imagine what he was going through right now. That he was allowed on this planet probably bordered on a miracle and Sam was sure General Hammond had called in a few favors for that.

"But the least you can do," Sam continued towards Garshaw. "Is to give me some time with my team. That's really not too much to ask seeing as I don't really have a lot of choices until you guys can find me a new host. Quite frankly, you are not the ones that get to complain that the SGC thought Jolinar was a threat."

Sam tried to speak softly, but the words were still harsh, Sam had to admit, and maybe she was pushing too far. But the Tok'ra acting as though Earth had done something wrong by imprisoning Jolinar and her was... hypocritical. Sam had noticed the fact that someone was always keeping an eye on her.

Sam looked at Martouf and knew that he understood what she was saying. He lay a hand on Garshaw's shoulder and even though Martouf didn't have any formal standing among the Tok'ra, it seemed to calm the woman down. "You can stay behind for a while and talk to your people, Samantha. I will let Martouf and Niraf stay with you by the gate so that you can return to the Tok'ra planet."

There were unspoken words as well. The warning glance that meant that Sam was not to divulge any sensitive information to her team. As if she could have, even if she wanted to. Jolinar was capable of keeping her from it, after all. At the moment, Jolinar was sulking, though.

"Thank you," Sam said, hoping she hadn't burned down any bridges.

Garshaw nodded and turned to leave with her delegation. With that, the first meeting of the Tok'ra and the Ta'uri was over and Sam joined her team on their way to the tents. Jack patted her on the back, but otherwise, they didn't interact, leaving it until they were without the Tok'ra representatives.

Sam entered the tent after her teammates and closed the curtain behind her. "Oh, it's so nice to just be able to have some privacy,"she said, mostly to herself. Still, Daniel must have heard her, as he looked at her confused. "The Tok'ra don't have any doors,"Sam explained and sat down.

There were only a few tables and chairs inside, but Sam barely noticed that. She was with her team again, at least for a while. She trusted these people with her life and wanted to do everything she could to make them trust her again. She just had no idea how to go about that.

"So, Carter, here we are." Colonel O'Neill broke the uncomfortable silence after they had all sat down around one of the tables.

"Yes, sir." Sam knew there were important matters to discuss, but she had no idea how to break them with her team. Daniel looked withdrawn and she really wanted to talk to him alone about what had happened back on the base, while Jack still looked less than amused and she couldn't quite read Teal'c's expression.

"You can't come back through the gate with us later, even if we manage to take out the Tok'ra at the gate"

This surprised Sam. Not that she couldn't go back to the SGC with the rest of SG-1, but that her commanding officer felt the need to tell her this now.

"I know, sir. I am not sure why Daniel even asked that."

Daniel shrugged. "It's a gambling thing. You start high, then go lower so the other side thinks you are meeting them halfway down the road."

Sam raised an eyebrow, wondering when Daniel had become skilled at that. "I suppose the NID is giving you guys hell?" She sighed.

"Indeed," Teal'c replied.

Sam smiled a bit at the familiar reply, but also felt embarrassed. She looked down on her hands. "I am sorry I have caused such a mess."

> *You don't have anything to be sorry for, Samantha.*

  
Jolinar didn't sound angry or annoyed at all, which surprised Sam after how she had spoken to her earlier. Maybe there were no hard feelings between them over that after all.

Jack sighed. "Well, it wasn't you, it was that snake-thing in your head."

Sam looked at Daniel, who didn't look back at her. Meanwhile, she could feel the discomfort Jolinar felt at being dismissed like that by Jack, even though Jolinar didn't comment on it.

> _ Just because he hasn't told them I convinced him of letting me go does not mean I have nothing to be sorry for. _

  
She pushed that train of thought aside. There would be a time to apologize. "That 'snake thing' has a name," she said quietly.

"Jolinar," Daniel stated.

"Yes."

Her commanding officer did not comment on that, but she could see that he didn't much care for this distinction.

"How do the Tok'ra expect to find a new host for him?" Daniel inquired, stirring the conversation into another direction, for which Sam was very grateful.

"Well, there seem to be a few planets where the Tok'ra know people who could be interested," she answered Daniel's question.

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Why would anyone want to have a sna... Tok'ra in their head?"

Once again Sam felt Jolinar's discomfort.

> _ Do you want to talk to him?_
> 
> *No, I think it would be better for both them and you if you talk to them yourself right now. I can understand him. He obviously cares for the well-being of his team, and I threatened that. It is a sign of a good leader that he cares this much.*

  
Teal'c answered before Sam could. "The Tok'ra possess the healing power of the Goa'uld. I have heard of them blending with humans and curing them of their ills in exchange for that. But until now I was convinced those were only stories, just like the existence of the Tok'ra."

"Yes, that seems to be how it goes." Sam sighed. "There does seem to be a shortage of hosts, though. But I'll wait until they find one."

"So you are sure that she... or he is willing to leave you, then?" Daniel asked.

Sam hadn't even noticed his use of pronouns earlier. "Jolinar traditionally has only taken female hosts and seems to prefer 'she', by the way," Sam noted. It wasn't something that Jolinar had really told her, but somehow, the knowledge seemed to have found the way into her head – she had thought of Jolinar as a female for a while now, even before Jolinar shared memories of Rosha.

"And yes, she's really sorry for taking me as a host against my will and would leave if given another host. It will just take some time," Sam added. What she didn't say was that she hoped it wouldn't take long – just sitting and talking to her team made her realize that she missed them a lot. All of them.

"What are you going to do until such time, Samantha Carter?" Teal'c asked.

"I honestly don't know." Sam shrugged. "I suppose I will stay with the Tok'ra, maybe help them find another host for Jolinar. Learn more about the Tok'ra. I suppose that could be useful for the SGC as well."

Daniel looked at her surprised. "Shouldn't you know already know everything there is to know about the Tok'ra now, basically being one of them? I mean, if their physiology is like the Goa'uld, they should have a genetic memory, right?"

Sam knew what he meant and nodded. "Yes, but Jolinar and I do not yet fully share our mind, as I understand it. I don't have complete access to her memories. They say it will make the removal process easier."

"So something could go wrong?" Jack folded his arms over his chest, his expression one of concern.

> _ Could it?_
> 
> *Not unless the host or the symbiote is very weakened. This is a protection for your mind, not your body, as we don't really have a lot of experience with Tok'ra leaving their hosts before their time is up.*

  
"Jolinar says there is nothing to worry about,"Sam answered. She knew her commanding officer was protective of his team and did not want to worry him any more than necessary.

"Good. I'd love to get a second opinion on that, but I guess that would be kinda hard." He smiled, a little forced, but Sam could see that he was seriously trying to be friendly and to come to terms with what was happening. She smiled back, hoping that he knew that she appreciated his concerns even if they made Jolinar uncomfortable. It was good to know that her team members cared this much.

"I am sorry, Captain Carter, but we should take our leave soon. General Hammond will be expecting all of us back soon," Teal'c informed them, looking genuinely sorry.

"It's okay, Teal'c. I know how it is. I just hope the paperwork won't give all of you headaches." She didn't even want to imagine how much trouble that would be.

"Oh, I don't really want to think about it," Daniel grinned, glancing at Jack, which prompted the Colonel to look even more unhappy.

Colonel O'Neill walked to the doorway. "So, take care, Carter, okay?" he said, trying to smile at her, but failing.

"I will, sir. And, um, I'd like to have a word in private with Daniel. It'll only take a minute."

"Sure. And don't forget to call us. You know, back on good old Earth."

Sam laughed, trying to mask the feeling of homesickness. "How could I?"

"We will meet again soon, Captain Carter," Teal'c said and left as Sam bowed her head in acknowledgment.

When they had both left and were out of earshot, Sam turned to Daniel.

"Daniel, I..."

He shook his head. "You don't have to say it, Sam, okay? It's... well, it's not okay that you knocked me out, and it certainly wasn't fun when I woke up, but...," he trailed off.

Sam understood. "We're okay? I feel so horrible about it..."

"We're good. At least I think so."

Sam hugged him and they held each other for a few seconds.

"I miss you guys already," Sam said and tried hard to hold her emotions back. She felt vulnerable now, with SG-1 about to leave her already.

Daniel released her from the hug and tried forming a cheerful smile. "We'll be back soon, I promise. Nobody gets left behind, remember? Just take care of yourself, okay?"

Sam nodded.

"Hey, Daniel, are you coming anytime this year?" Jack could be heard from down the hallway.

"I guess it's time for me to go, then," Daniel said.

"Yeah. See you all soon."

"Of course. We do miss you."


	3. Commensalism

Three days later, Sam was still living with the Tok'ra. They had tried to set up another meeting with the SGC, but apparently, the NID was still caught up in discussions on whether this was a good idea. That wasn't really a surprise. Sam could just imagine how they would react to something that on the outside looked like a Goa'uld, and then suddenly wanted to build an alliance. She somehow doubted that the NID was very good when it came to differentiating shades of gray.

She had visited two planets with Martouf and talked to people the Tok'ra trusted, but so far no suitable host had been found. The people were so scared after centuries of submitting to the Goa'uld. And now, Sam was growing impatient. Nothing seemed to be moving; the Tok'ra were meeting behind closed doors - well, not actual closed doors, but in chambers she wasn't permitted into - about the alliance between them and Earth and General Hammond also couldn't talk to her about what was happening at their end because they were so busy dealing with the NID. It was frustrating.

Sam gave up on sleeping and decided to get up and go outside to clear her mind. Jolinar had become very quiet over the past day, sensing that Sam was not willing to talk to anyone, which included Jolinar.

After five minutes of wandering through the tunnels, Sam had to admit to herself that she was lost. This had happened to her before, because there were barely any distinguishing features in this part of the base, only personal quarters and some larger halls. She was in a dead-end that had branched off a large chamber when Sam decided to ask Jolinar for directions.

> _ Jolinar?_

  
Sam waited for a moment.

> _ Jolinar?_
> 
> *Yes?*
> 
> _ What were you doing?_
> 
> *I was sleeping. I can do that while you are awake, and since you were having trouble going to sleep, I though I should leave you alone for a while.*
> 
> _ Ah, okay. You know these bases a lot better than I ever will, so do you have any idea where we are?_
> 
> *I think...*

  
Jolinar was interrupted by the sound of something exploding. It was only a faint sound, but after years of military training Sam was very good at distinguishing between weapons and bombs and this was the sound of bombs being dropped.

There was a second explosion only seconds later and this time, the sound was louder and the ground Sam stood on shook for a moment. Sand started to trickle from a few cracks in the crystals over Sam's head.

> *We are being attacked.*

  
But the warning wasn't necessary, Sam was already running back the way she had come from. The attack should quickly alert the rest of the base, who would hopefully know what to do and where to go.

> _ How can they attack us from above? I thought we were underground._
> 
> *We are, but not very deep. They can still damage the base enough from above. And there is a second entrance in case the ring transporters stop working.*

  
Sam realized she didn't even have a weapon to defend herself. And that one moment of thinking about something else than running was enough to make her stumble while turning a corner. She fell hard to the ground, her head knocking into the wall.

*

The world looked blurry when Sam opened her eyes next. She was still lying in the same corridor as she remembered from before her fall.

Another explosion, this time so close she almost covered her ears. The ground shook and more sand came trickling down from the ceiling. Sam hoped that not much time had passed since her fall.

> _ Jolinar!_

  
Sam got on her knees. The world started spinning and she diagnosed herself with a mild concussion. Her right wrist also hurt when she put her weight on it.

> *I am fine. We need to hurry. We can heal when we are safe.*

  
Her knees almost gave in when she put her full weight on them, but Sam managed to get up.

> _ Take over, you know this base better than I do._

  
Even before she had completed the thought, Sam felt her control slipping away.

Jolinar stumbled down the corridor when the next explosion hit, this time somewhere very close above them. The sound vibrated off the crystal tunnel and Sam could see the tunnel walls cracking a few meters before her. Jolinar tried to run, but it was too late and the walls caved in in front of them. More sand flowed into the tunnel from the cracks.

> _ Oh dammit._

  
Jolinar didn't bother with cursing, instead hurrying to the site of the the cave-in. She surveyed the situation for a moment and started to dig through the rubble then. Sam could feel the pain radiating from her right wrist, but Jolinar just worked through it.

It took Jolinar several minutes to work through the wall of debris. There were several more explosions and twice Sam heard voices shouting and weapons going off. She only hoped the Jaffa hadn't yet begun to infiltrate the tunnels. But then, there was silence.

Jolinar pushed the last big stone out of the way and squeezed into the corridor on the other side. There were more stones and sand lying around, but they could walk through it without encountering any more big obstacles.

The first few chambers they passed were empty, except for some personal belongings still in them. They found the first body in the fourth chamber they passed. The ceiling had caved in and buried someone. The face was not visible and Jolinar quickly looked away.

> *It must have been a Goa'uld attack. How did they know the location of our base?*

  
Jolinar sped up to the point where Sam knew she was experiencing a lot of pain. They hurried through the corridors, signs of the attack visible everywhere in the form of caved in ceilings and walls, personal belongings that had just been dropped and another dead body which had been buried by a cave-in. Whole corridors were blocked in and Jolinar had to go back and take a different route once to avoid one of those places. Some of the corridors, however, were starting to shrink.

> *Someone has started to destroy the base so we leave nothing behind. We need to hurry so we will not be caught by the collapsing corridors.*

  
Even though Jolinar did not say it, it was clear to Sam that being caught by one of the tunnels would mean death. But they were getting close to the exit now, the pattern of corridors looking familiar. Turning a corner, Sam's foot suddenly connected with something solid, and she almost fell to the ground a second time.

Someone groaned and Jolinar stopped and turned around. It hadn't been a rock they had stumbled over, but a person lying on the ground. Clad in the gray and brown garb, it was definitely a Tok'ra, the face turned into the other direction. Jolinar hurried over to the figure and turned its head to look at the face.

It was Martouf. The horror Jolinar felt at that realization washed over Sam, but was quickly pushed back by Jolinar. Martouf gave out another groan and blinked, but didn't seem to recognize her.

> *We need to get him out of here. He is bleeding.*

  
Now that Jolinar mentioned it, Sam saw it as well. There was blood trickling down from Martouf's right temple. Jolinar kneeled down beside Martouf and rolled him on his back.

"Martouf?", she said with Sam's voice, concern and fear clearly audible. "Martouf, can you hear me?"

Martouf gave out another groan and maybe Sam imagined it, but he seemed to look at her with recognition now. He moved his lips, but no words came out.

Jolinar acted fast, taking the zat gun Martouf had strapped to his belt from him, putting it on herself and then she pulled Martouf up. Martouf tried helping her a bit, shifting some weight on his feet, but the majority of his body weight was being supported by Jolinar and while Martouf was not a heavy man, it was still a lot of weight to carry for someone smaller than Martouf.

After a few moments, Martouf said something, too quiet for Sam to hear him. They stopped to hear him more clearly.

"The Goa'uld...," he whispered.

So the Tok'ra base had really been attacked by the Goa'uld. Not that there had really been any doubt in Sam's mind about that. Who else would have any interest in destroying the Tok'ra base?

> _ Let's hope this was just an air attack._
> 
> *Probably. But had they planned to enter the base we would have already encountered them. We need to get out of here before the base collapses*

  
Sam felt it, too. The explosions had stopped, but the internal structure of the base was damaged so much that didn't matter anymore. Sand trickled in through cracks all over the walls, and when Jolinar out a hand on the walls to stabilize herself with Martouf's added weight, Sam felt it vibrate.

Jolinar stumbled more than walked through the corridor leading to the exit. A few meters in front of it she gently leaned Martouf against the wall and got to her knees. Like Sam would have done, she slowly approached the entrance while ducking for cover. But the area was clear. No Goa'uld gliders or foot troops were in sight. What Sam saw, however, was the blue glow from the Stargate wormhole.

Jolinar hurried back to Martouf and helped him up again. By the time they reached the outside area again, though, the blue glow had vanished and the Stargate had closed. Sam felt Jolinar's anger and a hint of fear.

> *That might have been the last Tok'ra evacuating. Or the Goa'uld. If that were the last Tok'ra, we have no idea where they have gone.*
> 
> _What? You mean there is no main evacuation plan?_
> 
> *No. It would be too dangerous in case someone is captured.*

  
Sam barely restrained herself from cursing. For a race that had been around so long, this really reeked of bad tactics. Sam was very close to lecturing Jolinar on why an evacuation plan was not just a good idea, but a basic defensive measure, but knew she wouldn't get very far with that, and so they made their way to the gate in silence. After the first few minutes, Jolinar stopped being careful. Supporting Martouf took a lot of energy, especially in the soft ground and there were no signs of enemies. If the Goa'uld had left foot troops, they didn't stand a chance anyway.

When they reached the dialing device, Jolinar looked around once more. Still, there was nothing to be seen.

> _ Any ideas on where to go?_
> 
> *Not really. I propose an uninhabited planet for the time being. We need to rest before we decide on a plan of action.*

  
Sam had no objections to that plan and so Jolinar helped Martouf down to the ground again and dialed the coordinates to a planet.

*

Martouf woke up after what Sam guessed were two hours on the foreign planet. Jolinar had used the time to walk to a rather secure patch of trees and to explore the immediate area. She had also started to heal Sam's body. Sam was so tired, not physically but mentally that she felt no desire to do anything. There was so much to think about. Right now, they couldn't go to Earth because Earth had no way of knowing it was her and so they would be killed by the closed iris. And if they didn't know where the other Tok'ra were, they couldn't go to them, either.

Sam's jumbled thoughts were ended by Martouf moving beside her.

"Jolinar?" Martouf said as he opened his eyes and Jolinar hurried to his side.

"I am here," she told Martouf, using her Tok'ra voice.

There was a hint of confusion on Martouf's face and Sam supposed that was because he had anticipated Rosha's face. But realization soon set in and Martouf smiled weakly. "Where are we?" he asked, trying to sit up.

"Just an uninhabited planet I remembered," Jolinar answered, putting a hand behind his back to help him. "We missed the others, and I do not know where they have gone."

Martouf shook his head. "Neither do I. Joran said he'd open the gate, and I helped our people getting outside. I went back looking for you when I could not see you among the ones fleeing to the Stargate." Martouf was already visibly exhausted from talking so much.

Jolinar nodded in recognition. "We must rest before we try anything further. How are you feeling?"

Martouf briefly lowered his head and let Lantash take over. "Better now. There has been some internal damage and one rib is broken, but it is all healing well. A few more hours of resting will be sufficient and enable me to walk again."

"Good. Samantha and I will try to find something to eat and drink for both of us."

Jolinar gave Sam control over her body back, which still made Sam feel a little dizzy for a few seconds while she got used to it again. There wasn't a lot to see on this planet, but she could gather some berries that looked edible and some fresh water. They were enough to get rid of the hunger that she hadn't even felt until Jolinar had mentioned food.

Martouf looked better with every minute they spent resting and Sam could also feel the difference it made to her body. These injuries would have taken days to heal without Jolinar. Sam wasn't sure whether it pleased or frightened her what her symbiont could do to her body.

Jolinar and she had peacefully co-existed in the last few days, not talking a lot and Jolinar not taking over unless asked. But still, just having her in her body, just sometimes hearing the other voice in her head was having an effect on her she couldn't deny. It wasn't even all negative.

Still, she knew so little about Jolinar and about the Tok'ra in general, now that she thought about it. Sam wanted to know more.

> _ Jolinar?_
> 
> *Yes, Samantha?*
> 
> _ How did the Tok'ra come into being?_
> 
> *I could show you, if you wish so.*

  
Sam thought about it for a moment. She remembered the memories of Jolinar flooding into her brain, but those had mainly been those that Jolinar had gathered over the course of her life, not her genetic memory. She was curious whether there would be a difference.

> _ I think I'd like that._
> 
> *About... 2,000 years ago in your time a queen was born to the Goa'uld. Her name was Egeria...*

  
And so Jolinar showed Sam the first Tok'ra. It was a bit like watching a movie, or rather, like daydreaming, only that she wasn't in control of where this dream was going. She was being fed snippets of memory by Jolinar.

Sam could feel Egeria's upset about how the Goa'uld treated their hosts, she could hear her arguing with Ra and felt with her as she decided to resist his ways. And then Egeria fled and spawned the Tok'ra. Sam felt a brief sense of loss and mourning when the first of Egeria's children were killed by Ra, but Jolinar kept the worst from her. There were losses, but also small successes and more Tok'ra were birthed by Egeria. And then, many centuries later, Jolinar was born.

> _ What happened to her?_
> 
> *She was captured and murdered by Ra. Now the Tok'ra have no queen.*

  
Sam understood the unspoken part of this. The Tok'ra were a dying race. With every attack, their numbers got fewer; and there was no telling how many had been killed in the most recent attack. She had learned that the Tok'ra used no sarcophagi because it resulted in psychological aftereffects and if their luck in finding a new one for Jolinar was any indication, willing hosts seemed to be a rare resource as well.

And she also guessed, though she didn't dare to ask Jolinar this yet, that this had also been one of the reasons that Jolinar had taken her as a host. It hadn't only been her death that he had feared, but also that of one more of her people, one more loss for her cause. And with Jolinar's death, all the information she had gathered the last few years would have also been lost. Still, despite all that, Jolinar had wanted to protect Sam and not herself from the Ashrak sent to kill her. The thought confused Sam a bit.

Sam's thoughts branched off to what needed to be done now. And then she had an idea. A place where they could go and from where they could contact Earth.

> _ Do the Tok'ra know of a place called Cimmeria?_

  
Jolinar took a moment to answer.

> *I have heard that name before. It is a forbidden planet for the Goa'uld.*
> 
> _ Yes, they used to have a device that would extract the Goa'uld from the host. However, it also trapped Teal'c and we destroyed it several months ago to rescue him. _
> 
> *I see. Will we be able to reach your people from there?
> 
> _ Yes, we gave them a way to communicate to us that they want to speak to us, so we can then contact them._
> 
> *And you are sure this device is inactive and will not harm me or Lantash?*

  
Sam felt how worried Jolinar was at this prospect. As Jolinar – just like Sam - had just narrowly escaped death twice, once at the hand of the Ashrak and once at the destruction of the Tok'ra base, Sam could more than understand this feeling. But she also knew it was unfounded.

> _ I am sure. The Cimmerians couldn't have rebuilt it, and the race that left that device has long gone from the planet._
> 
> *I trust you to be honest with me, Samantha. I think this is a good idea and we should talk to Martouf and Lantash about it.*

  
And then Sam understood what Jolinar was worried about. Sam hadn't even considered that Jolinar could think Sam would go to Cimmeria with her to get rid of the Tok'ra. It was a logical thought, but one that hadn't even occurred to Sam. To her own surprise, she realized that she was beginning to get quite comfortable with having Jolinar in her body.

> _ I wouldn't lie to you._
> 
> *Thank you.*

  
They went over to where Martouf was lying.

"Martouf?"

Martouf's eyes flashed and Lantash answered her in his deep voice. "Martouf needed a bit of rest. What is it, Samantha?"

Sam was a bit taken aback by the symbiont's harsher way of phrasing things, but she also felt that this was just how Lantash was. He had a different personality than Martouf. "Jolinar and I have thought of a place we could go to from where we can contact Earth."

"Finding the Tok'ra should be our primary objective."

Sam felt that Jolinar wanted to reply and let the Tok'ra take over. "And it is, Lantash. But we might need some help with that and we could also need some medical attention. Besides, Samantha's people need to know what happened and that she is alive and well. They might hear about the attack from other sources and could be worried."

Lantash nodded, though he looked like he wasn't too pleased with this development. "Very well, then. Where are we going?"

"A planet called Cimmeria."

Lantash opened his mouth to speak, but Jolinar responded before he could ask.

"Samantha assures me that it is safe there for us, and that the device that made it dangerous for us and the Goa'uld to step onto Cimmeria has been destroyed by the Ta'uri."

"Then we shall do so," Lantash replied and went silent for a bit. Sam knew that he was now communicating with Martouf.

"I feel well enough to go now," Martouf said and got up with a little help from Sam. She, too, felt better now.

Sam couldn't remember each of the gate addresses of all planets she had been to during the past year, but with Cimmeria, she did. The planet had been particularly memorable for her. The wormhole established without any problems and side-by-side Martouf and Sam stepped through the event horizon.

*

There were no Cimmerians greeting them on the other side of the Stargate, so Sam and Martouf walked in the direction that what Sam vaguely remembered to lead to Kendra's home. Martouf was still not well and trying to hide it, but Sam could see that every step was still very painful.

"Where are we going?" Martouf asked.

"We will try to find Kendra, who will hopefully be able to help us contact Earth. We left a box with her that, when it hits the iris that we installed over our Stargate, will leave a distinct trace signature of subatomic particles that will alert the SGC that the Cimmerians need their help."

Martouf smiled. "That is a very clever idea. I trust it you came up with it, Samantha?"

Sam could feel her cheeks getting hot at the compliment. "I sort of did, yes," she answered and looked around to hide her blushing. The feelings for Martouf had not become less confusing and she found herself wanting to gain his approval, wanting to appear smart and in-control of the what was happening to him.

Sam decided that it would be best to cause no attention, so she started to lead Martouf down the path that would lead to Kendra's home. But still, the strain was getting to Martouf and Sam wasn't sure whether he would manage the walk uphill to Kendra's home. "Martouf, maybe it's better if you wait here. Kendra can be... a bit easy to frighten, and she doesn't know you," she said. She didn't want to hurt his pride, having little experience with how the Tok'ra dealt with physical weakness and injuries.

Martouf nodded in understanding. "Very well, Samantha. I will stay close to the gate until you return then."

The walk to Kendra's home was fairly uneventful, but while Sam found the place just as she remembered it, Kendra was not there. It took Sam a few minutes of searching near her home in the mountains, until she found the woman picking up herbs from between the stones.

When Sam approached, Kendra suddenly turned around and stared at her, eyes wide. "You are a one of the Ents," Kendra said frightened and backed away from Sam. They were surrounded by walls, so Kendra couldn't run away.

Sam was surprised that Kendra knew that Sam carried a symbiote. Jolinar hadn't been in control since arriving on Cimmeria.

> _ How does she know?_
> 
> *Former hosts can feel the presence of a Goa'uld.*

  
Sam briefly wondered how that worked, but she didn't really have time to think about that right now. She had to calm Kendra down.

"I am not one of the bad Ents," she said., extending her weaponless hands. "Do you know of the Tok'ra?"

Kendra shook her head and pressed her body tightly to the wall behind her. But after a moment, she nodded. "They were enemies," she said.

"Enemies of the Ents?" Sam asked.

"Yes. She was very angry about something they did," Kendra answered and her body seemed to relax a bit, but not much. She was still very tense, and Sam was sure that if she could, she would run away.

Sam tried to look friendly. "The Tok'ra also hate the Ents. They are trying to destroy them."

"And... you need my help?" Kendra's pose only relaxed a fraction, but it was enough for Sam to know that they were making progress.

"Yes. I need your help to go back to Earth, so that I can return to my people."

Kendra looked down at her feet. "Why can't you return the way you did before?"

It took Sam a moment to decide what to tell Kendra and by the tension that re-entered Kendra's posture, Sam had taken just a moment too long. "I have been away for too long. I need that box we gave you so that you could contact the humans of Earth."

When Kendra looked up again, Sam saw that while Kendra was tense again, she didn't seem as panic-stricken as before. "How do I know you will not attack Midgard and its people? I do not want that, they are my friends."

Sam smiled. "And so am I. If I really wanted to attack them I wouldn't ask you for the box like this, would I? I would have come with an army and taken what I want, don't you think?"

After a moment of consideration, Kendra nodded. "It makes sense if you say it like this. I shall trust you then."

Sam stepped aside and let Kendra pass her. She waited as Kendra retrieved the box which was well-hidden in a hole in the ground. Kendra hesitated for a second, but then passed the box to Sam.

"Thank you," Sam said.

She said farewell to Kendra and went back to the gate the same way she had come. Again, she saw no one and was happy not to cause any more excitement. She really just wanted to go back to Earth as soon as possible.

Martouf stepped out of a group of trees when Sam came close to the Stargate. "You have it?" he asked.

"Yes, I do." Sam nodded and immediately started dialing the address that was so familiar to her – Earth, home. It seemed like it had been ages since she had last been there, but actually, it had only been a week since she left. Two weeks since Jolinar had... she didn't want to use the word 'invaded', but that had essentially been what happened. Two weeks since Jolinar had invaded her.

After the wormhole was established, she stepped close to it and looked at the event horizon for a moment before throwing the box through to the other side. She made a mental note to tell General Hammond to send the Cimmerians a new one so they could still contact the SGC.

Sam knew that now all she could do was wait for them to analyze the trace radiation from the box against the iris and then sending a team through the gate. Sam didn't dare to go through the gate without a GDO, taking the chance that they had not yet analyzed the radiation and thus not opening the iris for her.

She sat down beside Martouf besides the Stargate.

"And your people will answer this call?" he asked.

Sam nodded. "Yes. It may take some time for them to respond, but they should send a team through the gate to see why the Cimmerians would contact them."

Martouf smiled. "It is an interesting way to contact somebody."

She smiled back. "How do the Tok'ra keep in contact with your allies?"

"With the Tollan, we have a device that lets them know where we are."

Sam knew what he was talking about and was surprised.. "You are an ally of the Tollan? I did not know that."

"So you have met them as well?" Martouf asked.

"We did, when their home world was destroyed. They then found refugee with the Nox." Of course, the Tok'ra and the Tollan knowing each other made sense, Sam thought. Two very advanced races were likely bound to meet someday through the Stargate network. Sam just hadn't thought about it before.

"You have also already met the Nox? Impressive, seeing as you have not been using your Stargate for very long, have you?" Martouf looked surprised.

Sam could see why he was surprised by this. So much had already happened just in this short time span. "No, we have only been using it regularly for a bit over one of our Earth years, though it has also been used before" she replied "Of course, it was also used a year before that when Colonel O'Neill and Daniel killed Ra. And we did meet the Nox, though they did not approve of our ways and told us not to come back to their planet."

Martouf laughed. "And they do not approve of our ways, either. Something else we have in common. Though we do consider them friends, they have also asked us not to visit their planet unless in an utmost emergency."

"Too aggressive for their liking, I take it?"

"Something like that," Martouf replied.

Their conversation was cut short by the sound of the Stargate spinning. Sam found that she was a bit disappointed by that – even though she craved to go back to the SGC, she also liked talking to Martouf very much. They both got up and walked over so that they could be seen from the Stargate.

The Stargate burst into life and seconds later, a MALP materialized, scanning its surroundings. Sam stepped close to it and kneeled down so she could be seen and heard by the SGC.

"Stargate Command, this is Captain Carter," she announced herself.

"Captain Carter, this is Stargate Command. What in God's name are you doing on Cimmeria?"

Sam recognized General Hammond's voice. "That's a long story, sir. Requesting permission for me and Martouf of the Tok'ra to come through the gate."

"Permission denied, Captain. Are you alone?"

"It's only us two, sir."

"Then stay where you are, I will send a team through to you."

Sam wondered what kind of team the General would send through, but the wormhole already disengaged. It took about half an hour until it activated again and Martouf and Sam stepped away from it. The first people to come through were armed Air Force officers who directed their weapons at Sam and Martouf, but then came Janet and a medical team. They had some medical equipment with them, but also a device that Sam didn't recognize.

> _ Have you seen this before?_
> 
> *Actually, I have. It is a Tollan device.*
> 
> _ What is it used for?_
> 
> *It can detect whether the host or the symbiote is in control. I had completely forgotten that they are in possession of this technology.*

  
"We are unarmed," Martouf said and raised up his hands. Sam did likewise and the officers visibly relaxed.

"Hey, Janet," Sam said and stepped towards the doctor.

"Sam, it's good to see you," the other woman said, but kept her distance. "What happened?"

Sam understood. They had brought the device to make sure that it was really her they were talking to. "The base was attacked."

Janet looked at her, concerned. "Are you injured?"

"I am mostly fine. Martouf was injured pretty badly, though," Sam answered, pointing at the Tok'ra. "Janet, this is Martouf. Martouf, this is Doctor Janet Fraiser," she then introduced them.

"It is nice to meet you, Doctor Fraiser," Martouf said and bowed in greeting.

Janet smiled friendly at him. "Nice to meet you too, Martouf. You are one of the Tok'ra, I presume?"

"That is indeed correct," Martouf answered.

"Good. As you can see, the General sent some people with us. We were able to contact the Tollan two days ago, when SG-8 was on a mission. Apparently they were doing some offworld experimentation. Anyway, when they learned of your situation, and after some convincing, they were kind enough to lend us a piece of their technology. They assured us that it will help us determine the... how did the NID guy put it "security risk associated with Captain Carter." Janet rolled her eyes.

Sam couldn't help but grin. "Oh yes, the NID. Lovely guys."

"So, that is a Tollan detachment device, then?" Martouf asked.

Janet nodded. "They say it can be used to suppress the symbiote. If I can determine that you two are really who you say you are I am allowed to take you back through the gate with us."

"That sounds good, doesn't it?"

Waving the man who was carrying the device to her, Janet nodded.

Sam looked at the man and felt as though she recognized him.

> *I know him. He is Tollan.*
> 
> _ Really?_
> 
> *The Tollan would never lend their technology to the humans of Earth without sending someone to handle it with it.*
> 
> _ Oh, right, we're too 'primitive'._

  
Sam was being sarcastic, but she was also immensely relieved. If the Tollan had sent someone to Earth and Jolinar knew that Tollan, chances were that the Tollan had already talked to the SGC about the Tok'ra and that they were trustworthy.

"This is Zerat of the Tollan," Janet introduced the man.

Sam nodded. "Jolinar says she knows him."

"Indeed we know each other. We met once on Tollan many moons ago. " Zerat bowed his head. "I do not know Martouf, but I have heard your name mentioned. I am sorry that I have to subject you to this."

Martouf bowed his head in greeting. "Do not feel sorry, if the Ta'uri feel it is necessary, I will happily subject myself to this test."

The test Zerat performed was rather unspectacular. Sam and Jolinar had to switch control back and forth and then Sam had to say that she was really herself while in control. The same was done to Martouf.

"So, I think that's it," Janet concluded and looked at Zerat.

The Tollan nodded. "This will suffice."

Her expression filled with relief, Janet stepped closer to Sam and hugged her. Sam didn't let go for several seconds, happy that her friend now knew she was not lying.

"I'll just go and tell the General and then I can get you both to Earth and into the infirmary."

Sam grinned. "I don't think I've ever been so happy about being able to go there."

Martouf and Sam were escorted through the gates mere minutes afterward, Sam noticing that Martouf was walking even slower now. He really needed to get checked out in the infirmary.

On the other side, they were greeted with more guards, but also by General Hammond and Colonel O'Neill.

"It is good to see you, Captain," the General greeted her and looked at Martouf. "And you are Martouf then, I presume?"

The Tok'ra nodded. "That is correct. I am host to the Tok'ra Lantash. It's an honor to meet you, General Hammond." He bowed his head in greeting.

General Hammond did likewise.

"So, Carter, seems like it's really you, huh?" Colonel O'Neill said.

"Seems like it, yes," Sam answered.

"I'm afraid that no matter what news you have for us and why you came through the Stargate from Cimmeria, I'll have to ask you both to participate in a full medical examination before we can talk. For security reasons."

Sam nodded. "Yes, sir, of course."

Sam, escorted by only a few guards now, showed Martouf the way to the infirmary. Janet was already busy setting up the equipment she needed for the tests. There were no other patients in the infirmary and Sam realized she wasn't actually sure whether it was day or night on Earth. In the few days spent off-world she had already adjusted her body clock to the Tok'ra planet.

"Please, sit down," Janet said and pointed to two of the infirmary beds. While Martouf and Sam sat down, two of the guards were positioning themselves at the door. "I'm afraid we won't be alone despite the test," Janet said with a pointed look at them.

"That's okay," Sam assured her, knowing that in the general's position, she wouldn't leave them unguarded either. It was a risk not worth taking, even with the Tollan test.

"I'll have to perform some tests on both of you. An MRI, some bloodwork and a full physical exam. It'll take about one hour, I'm afraid, but then you can see the general."

Janet first drew blood from both of them and then performed the physical examination on Martouf, who asked a few interested questions on what she was doing, while Sam sat around rather bored.

> _ Do you have any idea on who could have given away the Tok'ra's location?_
> 
> *I have some theories.*
> 
> _ And?_
> 
> *It would be a very big coincidence if this attack occurred so soon after I returned after surviving the Ashrak attack and had nothing to do with that.*
> 
> _ It does seem like that, yes._
> 
> *I have long suspected the Cronus is the one hunting me and you know my doubts about the Tok'ra Talkar – if he even is a Tok'ra.*
> 
> _ You think he is a Goa'uld? How can that happen?_
> 
> *Unfortunately, in some Tok'ra the ideals of our Queen Egeria are not as strong as in most of us. There have been Tok'ra who joined the Goa'uld before and the Goa'uld have also managed to infiltrate our ranks by killing one of us and assuming their identity before.*

  
"Hey, Sam?"

Sam looked up. Janet was standing in front of her.

"Hey, I called your name three times. Having interesting conversations?"

Sam looked embarrassed. "Something like that, yeah." Then she remembered what she had forgotten about. "So, um, how's Cassie?" Sam hoped the girl had calmed down by now.

Janet beckoned her to open her mouth and Sam complied.

"She's doing well. She has calmed down, and I have explained to her that you are not one of the Goa'uld. She's asking for you quite a bit. If you want to see her, I could bring her to work with me tomorrow." She finished checking Sam's throat.

"I'm actually not sure I'll be here tomorrow. I'll see what General Hammond says, though. And tell her I miss her, too, and give her a hug from me."

"Will do. So, how are you?"

Sam shrugged. "I'm good."

The stern look she got as a reply made very clear what Janet thought of this. "Sure you are."

"Okay, so maybe good isn't the right word." In fact, it wasn't at all the right word and both she and Janet knew that. But this wasn't the right time or the right place for any deep conversation.

"You don't have to talk to me now, Sam. But I strongly suggest you talk to someone about this and soon."

Sam knew what Janet was talking about and she wasn't thrilled about it. Still, she nodded and Janet went back to look after Martouf.

One hour later, Janet had finished her exams. Martouf had fallen asleep sometime in the last minutes and so Janet went back to Sam. "I'm afraid it doesn't look so good," she whispered.

"What doesn't look good?" Sam said, alarmed. Had some of her results come back wrong?

"It looks like his symbiote is damaged quite badly, actually. I'm having trouble interpreting these results, though."

> *I might be able to help with that.*

  
"Could I take a look at them?" Sam asked and, when Janet looked at her a bit bewildered, added, "Jolinar might be able to tell you whether they look strange."

Janet nodded. "Sure. I'd hate to wake him up for that – he seems to need the rest rather badly." Janet let Sam look at the blood results and the ultrasound image.

> _ What do you think?_
> 
> *It does indeed look like Lantash experienced some damage. Quite extensive damage, actually. It will heal, but he will be weak for another day or so.*

  
Sam was concerned, but Jolinar was probably very knowledgeable when it came to these things and so she trusted her judgment Martouf would come around.

Jolinar was in control now, speaking to Janet about the results. "Putting Martouf on a mild sedative would help the healing process. As well as a few of your other medications, mainly painkillers. If Lantash does not have to focus on healing Martouf, he will get better himself," Jolinar suggested.

Janet nodded. "I'll talk to him when he wakes up, then. I really suggest delaying the meeting with the General if that is possible, or doing it without Martouf."

*

Sam was escorted to one of the interrogation rooms shortly afterward. It really came to no surprise to her that the NID wasted almost no time in talking to her. Well, if talking was the right word for it, at least, since so far, she had only been seated in the room and left alone. Sam was of course aware of the fact that there were video cameras filming every move she made and recording every sound. There was only one table in the room with three chairs, one on one side and two on the other. She sat down on the single one and the guards that had escorted her up left the room.

After a few minutes, Zerat, the Tollan that had been with Janet's team earlier on Cimmeria, entered. He was carrying the device from earlier with him.

"Jolinar, Samantha Carter." He bowed his head in greeting.

Sam did likewise.

> *That device can also be used to suppress a symbiote.*
> 
> _Ah, that makes sense then._

  
Behind Zerat, two men in suits stepped into the room together with the two guards that had escorted her earlier. While the guards closed the door and positioned themselves at the door, the men sat down in the chairs opposite her while Zerat remained standing.

Sam didn't recognize them, but she didn't need to know them to know that she wouldn't like them. The way that Mayborne and his people had treated the Tollan at their first encounter with them – she was not surprised to see that Zerat's face showed emotions that were likely very close to the ones showing on her face.

"Captain Carter, I am Agent Walker. This is Agent Palt." They nodded. "Nice to meet you."

"Wish I could say the same." Sam knew that she should better be compliant with them, but she just couldn't help it. She hated people like that.

"There is no reason for the hostility, Captain," Palt said. "We just want to ask you any questions."

"And I see you want to make sure," Sam said, looking at the Tollan device, "that you are actually talking to me."

Agent Walker folded his arms over his chest. "Actually, we would like to talk to both of you," he said, while his co-worker stood up and said something Sam couldn't understand to one of the guards, who left the room.

Sam rolled her eyes. Of course they wanted to talk to 'the alien'. She'd probably be lucky if they let her have control over her own body again after this – they liked interrogating aliens a bit too much, in her opinion. Surprisingly, she found that she was more annoyed than scared or nervous. The same could not be said about Jolinar, though.

> _ Are you scared?_
> 
> *Maybe.*

  
Jolinar had said it reluctantly and Sam decided not to ask any further. Jolinar had probably withstood worse things before, but Sam guessed this must be very different. Jolinar had no idea what to expect from Sam's people after what happened last time.

"Captain Carter, it would be best if you cooperated with us. We mean you no harm."

"Maybe not to me," Sam said, stressing the 'me' very slightly. She knew she was already pushing further than she should.

"We also don't mean the Tok'ra any harm," Walker said. "Do we have permission to use the Tollan detachment device?"

Sam sighed, but nodded and Zerat quickly placed the device around her shoulders. The blue light switched on.

The door opened and the airman came back, carrying a chair that he offered to Zerat. Clearly this was going to take a while.

"Good," Agent Palt said. "Now, could you please tell us how the Tok'ra Jolinar took possession of your body?"

Sam sighed again. "Can I at least get a glass of water?"

"Of course."

They questioned her about the time Jolinar had been in control and then about the escape from the SGC. She wasn't completely honest about the latter, but stayed close enough to the truth that it wasn't technically lying. The interrogation was a lot less unpleasant than she had expected, actually. The two NID agents wanted to know a lot of details, but seemed content with her answers.

They only asked a few vague answers about her time with the Tok'ra, nothing specific enough to make her not want to answer them. Jolinar didn't say a word in her mind the whole time, but Sam could feel that she started to relax a bit. It wasn't a strong feeling and Sam wondered briefly what it would be like if they were fully blended, but abandoned that train of thought when Agent Walker asked the next question.

"Thank you for answering our questions, Captain Carter," Agent Palt said in the end. "Could we now please talk to the Tok'ra?"

Sam's first impulse was to say something like 'she has a name', but she was getting tired of this already. She longed to go back to the infirmary and just lie down for an hour or so. So in the end, she just nodded and bowed her head.

Jolinar took over and the color of the Tollan device changed from blue to red. This seemed to please the NID agents, as they nodded. "Greetings, Jolinar," Agent Palt said.

Jolinar didn't answer them and Sam couldn't blame her.

"We only want you to answer a few quick questions," Agent Walker added, leaning back in his chair.

Jolinar nodded.

Actually being true to their word, which surprised Sam even more, they only asked Jolinar about a dozen questions about the Ash'rak and about her escape from the base. Jolinar answered politely and consistent with what Sam had said earlier and the agents nodded a lot and seemed content with her answers.

"How forthcoming would the Tok'ra be in an alliance with Earth, in your opinion?"

The question jerked Sam out of what had been almost a bit of rest. So this was what this was about, they wanted to suck up to Jolinar enough so that she would influence the Tok'ra Council.

"The Tok'ra are interested in perusing an alliance with the Tok'ra with the mutual goal of destroying the threat the Goa'uld post to the inhabitants of this galaxy," Jolinar answered, her voice plain.

> _ Tread carefully, there._
> 
> *I know. I cannot speak for the Council in any case. Giving off the impression that the Tok'ra are highly interested will serve us, however.*
> 
> _Yeah, I agree. They won't want to anger a race that could give them access to advanced technology. At least, not that obviously._

  
If she had been able to roll her eyes, she would have. As it was, Jolinar just took a sip of water and calmly looked at the NID agents.

"That is good to hear," Agent Walker said.

Jolinar just continued looking at them, waiting for the next question.

"So," the other NID agent said, "is there anything we can do to... help with this?"

"You can refrain from interfering with my wish to return to my people . I am sure they would appreciate that a lot."

Sam was amazed by how Jolinar said that. The arrogance was back into her voice and there was also a hint of a threat in there – while at the same time being perfectly polite.

Agent Walker hesitated. "Of course, of course. So you can talk to your Council then? Tell them about what we are, what we need?" He stressed the last word just a bit too much.

But Jolinar just smiled and leaned forward a bit, as though they were all plotting a conspiracy together. "I will certainly do all that I can, I assure you," she said, her voice a bit lower than usual.

> _ I must admit, I am impressed._
> 
> *Centuries of dealing with the Goa'uld or posing as one.*
> 
> _ Probably not that different from the NID, huh?_
> 
> *A snake is a snake.*

  
Had Sam been in control, she would have bent over laughing. As it was, she was spared that embarrassment by Jolinar staying completely focused on getting them finally escorted back to the infirmary.

*

"Hey, you're awake."

Martouf opened his eyes, looking for a moment as though he was confused where he was.

"How are you feeling?" Sam asked.

Martouf blinked and looked at her. "Better. I think. How long was I asleep?"

Sam looked at her watch. She had been sitting at Martouf's bedside since the end of her meeting with the men from the NID, but she hadn't paid close attention to the time. "Five hours, give or take a bit."

The Tok'ra sat up in the infirmary bed. "I think the damage to Lantash's body is now mostly healed, but he is still weak. He is not strong enough to get control over our body yet."

Our body. The phrase stuck in Sam's mind. Martouf didn't even seem to think of the body as his anymore, instead it was something they shared as equals. It seemed both strange and... nice. Very peaceful. The whole 'living together in harmony' thought actually working.

"Samantha?"

She was jerked out of her thoughts. "Yeah, still here."

Martouf smiled at her and once again, her heart seemed to skip a beat. "Good. What happened while I was asleep?"

Sam shook her head, not wanting to talk about it in great detail. "Some Earth politics stuff. Nothing to be concerned about."

He nodded, seeming content with this explanation. "I would like to meet with your... General soon."

"I am sure that can be arranged. But don't you want to take some more time to heal?"

Martouf shook his head. "It is Lantash who needs to heal. As long as I do not put too much strain on him, I can do whatever is necessary without disturbing the process."

Sam hadn't really thought about that, but it made sense. If Martouf was in good health, but his symbiote was not fine, he could probably at least walk around and talk to some people. "So what do you want to to talk to the General about?" she asked.

"I thought about our next steps a bit while waiting for Doctor Fraiser's test results," Martouf said and at the mention of Janet, Sam realized she should probably call the Doctor to alert her to Martouf's consciousness, but Martouf did actually look fine and she was very interested in what he was about to say.

"So, what do you think we should do?" she asked.

Martouf looked at the monitor he was hooked up to for a moment before responding. "Well, quite obviously, I still need to rest at least until tomorrow. Then I will go in search of the other Tok'ra."

Sam raised an eyebrow. That 'I' had sounded very definite. "You want to go alone?"

He nodded. "I know of a planet where I can go to get the new address of the Tok'ra. But I will need to infiltrate their palace to get that information."

"At least take me and SG-1 with you as back-up," Sam protested.

Martouf vehemently shook his head. "That would be too many people. I know how to get in and out, but the more people, the bigger the risk is."

"I understand, but I won't let you just endanger yourself." Sam understood that Martouf didn't just want to walk into enemy territory with a big group, but there had to be a better way.

> _ Is there no better way for us to get the coordinates?_
> 
> *I am afraid Martouf is right. The coordinates will only be distributed slowly among the Tok'ra operatives. It will take weeks until everyone is updated on them and if Martouf knows someone who is among the most trusted, that is probably our best chance.*

  
"I am not endangering myself, Samantha," Martouf said, unaware of Sam's conversation with Jolinar.

> _ You want to go with him, don't you?_
> 
> *Of course I do. But I also do not want to endanger you.*
> 
> _ I am not going to let him go alone, either._

  
"At least take me with you," Sam said, hoping she wasn't making the completely wrong choice. She just knew she needed to ease her mind by going with him. Martouf sighed, but Sam cut him off before he could say anything more. "I don't think General Hammond will just let you go if you plan to walk into a Goa'uld stronghold on your own and that's what you are planning, isn't it?"

Martouf didn't deny it, which Sam took as a yes. "Your General cannot keep me here against my will, can he?"

"He probably wouldn't, but he will insist on sending a team with you." Sam knew General Hammond was not about to let anyone endanger themselves without sending help.

"Then I will not tell him where I am going."

Sam shook her head. "Why would you leave me here, then? Oh no, you are at least taking me with you." Sam knew this bordered on blackmail, but she needed to go with him. She couldn't stay behind and worry, and being subjected to more questioning by the NID also didn't sound like a very inviting possibility.

Martouf sighed. "If you insist," he finally said, clearly not convinced.

"Good," Sam said. "So, where are you planning to go?"

"Airetia," he answered.

> _ Are you familiar with that planet?_
> 
> *Vaguely. It's a Goa'uld farming outpost and should not be too heavily guarded.*

  
Just as Sam was about to ask Martouf more, the door to the infirmary opened and Janet stepped in.

"So, my patient is awake. How are you feeling?"

Sam squeezed Martouf's hand and then let Janet ask her patient a whole lot of questions about his physiology.

*

"So, what happened, Captain Carter?" General Hammond directly cut to the chase as soon as they were seated in the briefing room two hours later after Janet had checked Martouf's health again.

Sam let Martouf, who sat next to her, speak first. "A few days ago, three of our days after the negotiations between Earth and the Tok'ra, our base was attacked by Goa'uld ships. The base was completely destroyed and some of our people were killed in the attack, though I can not tell you how many."

The General nodded. "I am very sorry to hear that. Did the rest of the Tok'ra manage to escape?"

"We believe they did," Martouf answered, "but as I said we can not be sure. Hopefully none of them were taken prisoner. Both Samantha and I are unaware where the Tok'ra have relocated to."

The General looked surprised at this. "Is there not a designated planet for you in case something like this happens?"

"That would be very dangerous for us, as we always fear Goa'uld spies among us and we have spies among the Goa'uld who could be forced to reveal this location under torture. Even though they are instructed to commit suicide when it comes to that, it can happen. Only the Tok'ra High Council and a few very trusted Tok'ra possess this knowledge. Since Samantha and I were both injured in the attack, we could not relocate together with the others."

Sam still thought that while this all sounded perfectly logical, it was still a recipe for disaster.

"So, what were you doing on Cimmeria?" Colonel O'Neill asked.

This time it was Sam who answered. "Since we could not contact the Tok'ra, we thought we'd contact the SGC, get some medical attention and inform you about what happened. And Cimmeria is a planet safe from the Goa'uld, since they don't know we destroyed Thor's hammer."

"Ah." The Colonel nodded. "Makes sense."

"Do you have a suspicion as to who attacked the Tok'ra?" Teal'c asked.

Martouf shook his head. "Unfortunately, we don't."

Sam knew that Jolinar felt otherwise.

> _ Do you want to share your thoughts?_
> 
> *If that is alright with you*
> 
> _ Of course._

  
Sam bowed her head and let Jolinar take over, something that felt almost natural by now.

"Actually, I do," Jolinar said.

Martouf raised an eyebrow. "You do?"

Sam could understand Martouf's surprise. She didn't know why Jolinar hadn't told him earlier, except for them being interrupted by Janet. But even so, if Jolinar had wanted to tell him, she would have found a way. Sometimes, Jolinar really was a mystery to Sam, and Sam found it a bit frustrating this time.

"I believe it is no coincidence that it happened so close to my return to the Tok'ra. I believe that whoever sent the Ashrak to kill me might also have coordinated this attack," Jolinar said to Martouf.

"You think there's a spy among us," Martouf said, not as a question, but as a statement.

Jolinar nodded.

"So, um, do you happen to know who sent that Ashrak to kill you?" Daniel asked, looking as though he wasn't happy with talking to Jolinar instead of Sam. Sam understood that, maybe better than anyone else. Jolinar talking through her didn't bother her as much as it had in the beginning, especially as she was always asked for permission, but it was as weird to hear herself talk without knowing what words would come out as it must be for the others to hear her talk and know it wasn't really her.

"I cannot be completely sure at this point, but the most likely possibility would be the Goa'uld Cronus. I was in his service for a long time before I was exposed and had to flee," Jolinar explained.

"Cronus?" the General asked. "We haven't met a Goa'uld named Cronus before."

Jolinar opened her mouth to explain, but Martouf was faster. "Cronus is one of the most influential System Lords. He is an enemy of Apophis and one of the most ruthless when it comes to dealing with the Tok'ra."

"Historically, Cronus was one of the twelve Titans in Ancient Greece," Daniel chimed in. "He became father to Zeus, Hera, Poseidon and Hades."

Martouf nodded. "He is indeed the father of the Goa'uld Sokar, who is also known as Hades, a System Lord who was fought by an alliance of other Goa'uld System Lords long ago."

Sam wondered what a System Lord had to do to get fought by a whole alliance of others, but she felt Jolinar getting uncomfortable at the mention of Sokar and decided not to ask.

"Interesting," Daniel said and scribbled something down. Sam strongly suspected it was for further research on the relationships between the System Lords. That whole subject was fascinating for her as well. With meeting Apophis, they hadn't even scratched the surface of the complex Goa'uld society. There was still so much to learn about their new enemy. Sam hadn't asked Jolinar much about these things during the time spent at the Tok'ra base and now she kind of regretted it. It had been a good opportunity to learn more.

"So you think this... Cronus guy sent both the killer and attacked the Tok'ra main base?" Jack asked, raising an eyebrow.

Jolinar nodded. "Yes, that is my theory."

"So there could be a spy among the Tok'ra on the home base, seeing as he or she knew that you survived and returned?" General Hammond asked for clarification. He looked a bit confused by the recent developments, which, as Sam had to admit, was very understandable. But Sam knew that he was a good leader and trusted his instincts. He could provide valuable insights even into unfamiliar situations. It was why he had been chosen to head the SGC.

"That might be the case. However, I also made contact with one of our spies within the Goa'uld hierarchy who reports to Cronus before I returned to the Tok'ra base."

Teal'c cocked his head. "Are you suggesting he might have informed Cronus of your survival?" he asked. His voice carried more emotion that it usually did and Sam briefly entertained the thought that there was something about the Tok'ra or about Cronus that worried him that he wasn't talking about.

Jolinar folded her hands on the table and nodded. "I am indeed suggesting that."

Teal'c nodded. Sam remembered what Teal'c had said about the Tok'ra – that they were a legend among the Jaffa. Since Teal'c fought against the Goa'uld just like the Tok'ra she wondered whether he was disappointed to find that there might be Tok'ra who turned sides as well.

Martouf interrupted Sam's thoughts. "However, we still have very loyal Tok'ra spies in Cronus's ranks that we might be able to contact about this."

General Hammond looked skeptical. "Do you think this is a wise course of action?"

Martouf nodded. "The Tok'ra I have in mind is a very trusted Tok'ra. He also has the means to contact the Tok'ra so we can return to their new base."

Jolinar gave control back to Sam, apparently deciding that she was not needed anymore for the time being.

"A long-range communicator," Teal'c commented more than asked, yet Jolinar nodded in answer.

"Yes. The Tok'ra are very careful with who of our operatives get one of those as in the wrong hands they may be used against us."

The colonel shifted in his seat and mustered Martouf. "And what exactly is your plan? Go through the gate, contact this guy, get the location from him and then get out of there?"

"Yes. Me and Samantha will go to the planet together."

"Sounds simple enough," Daniel commented.

Sam didn't say anything, not wanting to outright lie to her team.

"It is that simple," Martouf said, obviously not having the same problem.

There was a moment of silence before General Hammond spoke. "Are you sure you don't need any back-up for that?"

Martouf shook his head. "Any larger group of people will only arise suspicion. It is best we go alone."

The General nodded. "You do that, then. Speaking for Earth, we would like to resume negotiations with the Tok'ra as soon as possible. And I am sure that you don't want to delay contact with your people for much longer. However, I must ask you whether Captain Carter is also willing to take the risks associated with such a mission."

Sam tried to look sure of herself, despite the fact that she was not. She just hoped Martouf could be trusted enough to know what he was doing. "I am aware of the risks, General. Contact with a Goa'uld-ruled planet will always be risky, but I am willing to take it and help Martouf." Sam know that the general's worries were well-founded, even though he might not know how much. Infiltrating a Goa'uld-ruled planet was certainly far from a walk in the park.

"Well, then, I don't think there's any reason for us to stop you two from going, is there? Is there anything we can help you with, we want you to know that you can ask for assistance if you need any."

> *I can not think of anything other than a safe place until we embark. Martouf still needs to heal and we also need rest.*

  
As Martouf also shook his head, Sam answered the general's question. "Actually, sir, I could really use some food and rest and I think Martouf agrees with me here. His symbiote is not completely healed yet," she said.

Sam looked over to Martouf, who just smiled and nodded at the suggestion. She didn't know how he felt, but she was mentally exhausted and just craved a soft bed and a good night's sleep. And also, food. She hadn't paid attention to it before, but her stomach now loudly demanded nutrition.

Colonel O'Neill grinned at hearing that sound, as did Daniel. "I am sure we can arrange for that, Captain. We don't want you to starve, do we?" He looked at General Hammond, who nodded in agreement.

"You are not allowed off-base, Captain, but feel free to use your quarters tonight. I will arrange for a VIP room to be prepared for our visitor."

Sam entertained the thought of the soft, warm bed in her quarters after a decent meal at the cafeteria and a long hot shower for a moment. It took some effort for her to return into reality after that.

"That would be very kind of you," Martouf said.

The General nodded and got up to return to his office. Everyone else took that as a sign that the meeting was over.

"So, Carter, wanna grab some dinner? Did the Tok'ra not feed you enough?" the Colonel asked.

Sam grinned at the familiar banter. It made her instantly feel at home again and she was grateful that the Colonel could talk to her like that again. "I'd prefer to have a shower beforehand. Daniel, Teal'c, could you maybe show Martouf the VIP quarters?"

Daniel turned to Teal'c, who nodded. Sam knew she was doing them a favor – both were probably dying to talk to Martouf about the Tok'ra, for various reasons. "Sure. Meet you in the mess hall in thirty minutes?" Daniel suggested.

Thirty minutes were more than enough time for a hot shower after which she would hopefully feel refreshed. "Sure, that sounds good."

Martouf followed Daniel and Teal'c out of the briefing room.

"So, do the Tok'ra not have any showers?" the Colonel said with a grin.

Sam was happy to play along. "Is it that bad, sir?" she asked.

"Nah, I was just wondering."

Sam walked over to the stairs that connected the briefing room to the control room. "It was a desert planet, sir. Not blessed with a lot of water."

"And there I was wondering whether there would be any public bathing rooms. You know, since they don't seem to have heard of the concept of doors."

Even Jolinar was amused.

*

When Sam stepped out of the shower twenty minutes later, she was feeling a lot better than before. Her stomach had been temporarily settled by grabbing a power bar she had in her quarters. The whole team had spent so many nights on base in the first months of being on SG1 that they had all been assigned personal quarters. They weren't big, only fitting a bed, a desk and a drawer, but they had bathrooms that were a lot nicer than the bathrooms in the common areas.

She dried herself off with a soft and warm towel and looked at herself in the mirror. There were rings under her eyes that gave away how hectic and sleepless the past few days had been and she still had a few bruises on her body from the tunnel collapse. When she looked down she saw that there was a big bruise around her ankle that had turned bright purple. But when she put her weight on that foot there was no pain. Jolinar had been able to completely heal it by now.

Only dressed with the towel, she went into her quarters in search for fresh clothing. She found some of her workout clothes and decided that even that was preferable to the clothing the Tok'ra wore. It would be sufficient.

Combing her hair into a halfway decent shape, she grabbed her security card and left her room, almost running into Teal'c. "Sorry," she said, a bit startled.

"Captain Carter, may we speak?"

Sam was confused by what Teal'c so urgently needed to talk to her about, but gestured at him to go in. "Sure, come in. The others can wait for a few minutes."

Teal'c nodded. "Daniel Jackson has many questions for the Tok'ra Martouf and Lantash."

"I can imagine that. So, what did you want to talk to me about?" Sam gestured at Teal'c to sit down, but he shook his head.

"This will not take long. I only wanted to warn you about going into Cronus's territory unprepared. He is as cruel as every Goa'uld, but delights in torture more than most others and is much more ruthless to his followers than Apophis. I am sure Jolinar of Malkshur knows this, but I wanted to warn you nonetheless."

Sam nodded.

"I am telling you this in confidence, Captain Carter, but if you desire me to, I will share the information I have on Cronus with you before you depart tomorrow, in case any of it could prove useful to you."

"Cronus and Apophis are at war, aren't they? You probably know a lot about Cronus because of that?"

Teal'c bowed his head as affirmation. "That is not all, however. My father was First Prime to Cronus when I was but a child."

Sam opened her mouth and wanted to ask a question, but all she got out was "How did..." before Jolinar and Teal'c stopped her.

> *I do not think this is a good idea.*

  
"I am sorry, but I am not willing to divulge that information to you yet, Captain Carter. Please do not think this is because I do not trust you. I do."

Sam was confused by both Jolinar and Teal'c stopping her from asking why Teal'c had been serving Apophis when his father had been in the service of Cronus, but she closed her mouth again.

"Okay, Teal'c. Thanks for the warning, it's appreciated. Come on, we should go and meet the others."

They stayed silent on the way to the main cafeteria. That was, Sam stayed silent on the outside as she walked down the familiar corridors.

> _ Do you know what that was all about?_
> 
> *I think I do.*
> 
> _ So, you're going to tell me?_
> 
> *I do not believe it is for me to tell yet.*
> 
> _ Why?_
> 
> *Because I want to respect your friend's wishes.*
> 
> _ Wonderful._

  
There was a stretch of silence between Sam and Jolinar. Teal'c and Sam stepped into the elevator to get to the cafeteria two floors below the level they were currently at.

> *Are you – what is the word? - sulking?*
> 
> _ I don't see why you get to keep secrets from me, while obviously I don't have that option. You can just access my mind any time you want._
> 
> *But I am not doing that.*
> 
> _ How would I know?_
> 
> *You will just have to trust me on that.*
> 
> _ Well, right now, I am not inclined to do that._

  
Sam folded her hands over her chest and knew the annoyance showed on her face when Teal'c looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

"Is something the matter, Captain Carter?"

"No, everything is fine." Sam knew her tone was harsher than it should have been given what she had said, but Teal'c took the hint and didn't pursue the issue further.

> *Do you not trust me anymore?*
> 
> _I am really not interested in discussing that right now. _

  
The rest of the way to the cafeteria, neither of them said anything.

"Hey Sam, Teal'c, there you are," Daniel greeted them when Teal'c pushed open the doors to the mess hall. It was deserted except for two marines sitting on a table in the far back and the table now occupied by Daniel, Colonel O'Neill and Martouf.

Colonel O'Neill grinned at her. "Had a nice shower, Carter?" he teased her.

"Yes, sir, I did." Sam fetched herself a tray and stepped up to the counter. Her stomach was making itself known once again and she loaded her tray full of things she had not eaten in a while: a tuna sandwich, apple pie and some blueberry muffins were her first victims. Then she remembered that the cafeteria also had a coffee machine and wanted to get herself some, when Daniel interrupted her.

"I already got you some coffee, Sam."

Sam turned towards the table and saw the coffee pot already standing on the place between Martouf and Teal'c. "Oh, you're my savior, Daniel," she said and walked over to the place they had reserved for her and sat down.

"You're welcome," Daniel answered.

Sam could feel that Jolinar was displeased through their mutual connection, but she was not going to let that keep her from having a good meal with her friends. She closed her hand around the hot cup of coffee and lifted it to her mouth. The smell was wonderful and she closed her eyes for a moment, just inhaling the smell before she took a sip. It was hot and bitter, but that's what she liked about it.

"Better than food, isn't it?" Daniel said and grinned broadly at her.

Sam looked at the food on her plate and remembered why she had come here. "Maybe. But food is also good," she answered and picked up her sandwich.

Martouf was looking at his own food with a bit of skepticism. He had a bowl of green jell-o standing in front of him and poked it carefully with his spoon."What is this?"

"Jack picked it for him," Daniel explained to Sam and Teal'c.

"It is called jell-o and a very strange substance that seems to be mostly composed of sugar," Teal'c explained.

Sam stifled a laugh at both Teal'c's explanation and Martouf's bewilderment. Martouf seemed to get over his initial skepticism, though, and took a bite of the green substance.

Martouf put his spoon down again and took a sip of his drink. "It's... certainly an interesting taste."

Sam took another big bite of her sandwich. "Personally, I prefer the blue variant," she said, her mouth still a bit full.

"Blue?" Martouf asked. "What does it taste like?"

The Colonel leaned back in his chair and grinned. "Exactly like the green and red variants – sugar."

"They don't taste the same, actually. And the blue jell-o is more fun," Sam replied.

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed with her.

Sam smiled. It was so much fun to be back with her team, even if it was just for one evening. She couldn't believe how much she had missed having them with her while off-world.

* * *

One hour later, Sam returned to her quarters after she had dropped Martouf off at his and wished him a good night. She felt sleepy and was sure that she would fall asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow of her bed.

She and Jolinar had not talked since the incident with Teal'c and Sam saw no need to resolve that situation before going to bed – she was just too tired.

> *Samantha, can we please talk about this?*

  
Sam ignored the voice in her head and unlocked the door to her room. She opened it, stepped inside and turned on the light.

> *Why are you being so stubborn about this?*

  
Closing the door, Sam took a deep breath.

"Because for some reason I don't appreciate the fact that you have access to my memories and over my body no matter whether I want it or not, while you have the option to keep secrets from me and just not tell me things I might need to know." She was angry and she said it out loud because she couldn't bear having conversations in her head anymore.

> *I did not mean to hurt you. I am only trying to protect your friend's privacy.*

  
Sam walked into the bathroom. "No, you are not. You are just trying to keep information from me. I don't like how apparently, this whole 'sharing everything' thing seems to be a one-way street." Looking into the mirror, she found that she did indeed appear very angry.

> *But you wanted this. You said you did not want all my memories and feelings, so I kept them from you as well as I could.*

  
Sam turned on the tap and splashed cool water into her face, hoping it would calm her down. Of course Jolinar was right. Jolinar usually was. But that wasn't so much what bothered Sam, she just couldn't put her finger on what was actually bothering her, and that made the whole thing even more frustrating.

"That was when I still thought we would be going separate ways in a matter of days. Now everything is so much more complicated and... I don't know." Her knees gave out under her and Sam sunk to the cold bathroom floor. She was frustrated and angry and tired and all that wasn't doing her rational thinking any good. Why did it frustrate her so much that Jolinar was keeping something from her?

> *I am sorry you are not feeling well. And we can stay here if you want to. We do not need to go through the Stargate tomorrow.*

  
With what felt like all the strength she still had, Sam shook her head. "No, I want to go. But we need to sort this out. I am just so tired."

> *I know, Samantha. I feel it, too.*

  
Jolinar sounded as defeated as Sam did and while it on one level frightened Sam that they shared all these feelings, it also made Sam smile.

And maybe that was it. When Martouf had talked about him and Lantash as though they were one and the same person – and they were, in a way – earlier, she had tried not to pay attention to that small stab she had felt.

That small stab of... jealousy. Jealousy that he had someone who he shared everything with. Someone who understood him, who had no secrets. She hadn't allowed to think herself about it until now, because in a way, it did feel like giving up a bit. Giving up hope that she would ever be just herself again.

But it wasn't. She could still choose to be herself one of these days. She wasn't giving up on herself, she was just making things easier for now. Jolinar could still leave her if they both wanted it.

"Maybe we need to change it," she said.

> *Change what?"*

  
"The sharing thing. Become blended."

Jolinar didn't answer for a few moments.

> *Are you sure? It cannot be undone.*

  
Sam shrugged. "As sure as I will ever be."

> *Maybe we should wait until the morning.*

  
Sam shook her head. The more she thought about it, the more she was convinced that this was a good idea. "I trust you," she said, actually meaning it. It was a strange kind of trust, especially considering how the first days of them knowing each other had worked out, but it was true nevertheless.

*Then I will do it. But it will be a lot to take in at once, so maybe you should lie down first.*

Sam dragged herself up from the floor and wandered into the bedroom. She didn't feel like getting dressed for bed and just switched off the light and lay down.

"Okay, do it," she said firmly. Maybe it was better that there would be no turning back now. Sometimes, that was all she needed – just making a decision and then sticking with it.

It was like no feeling she had ever had, even when Jolinar had entered her. Back then, there had also been a rush of images and feelings, but this time, it was so much more. There were also sounds and smells, and the memories were so many. Jolinar had lived for centuries and had had four main hosts before her. She saw these hosts and felt the joy of having had a lifetime shared with them and also the sadness at losing them to their aging bodies.

There were memories of Jolinar's first lovers, a symbiote named Kenal with a female host. They died centuries ago and Sam felt Jolinar's outcry at the loss and her mourning for them. Then came Lantash and now she knew that they had disliked each other at first. She saw him call Jolinar irrational and reckless and heard Jolinar call him an arrogant idiot in return. She experienced how they developed feelings for each other and how Martouf became his new host. She felt how they make love and didn't feel embarrassed by it.

Goa'uld and missions came and went. Sam saw Ra and Cronus and a place called hell. There was pain and torture and things she didn't want to think about. But there was also the content at having helped the Tok'ra and the company of her people.

But there were memories so joyful and happy that she wouldn't be able to put it into words even if she tried. Jolinar's life had been a full life, with ups and downs, love and hate, pain and joy, and for a moment, her own life seemed insignificant to her next to that of Jolinar. That feeling was gone quickly, though. More images came and went and when all the impressions ebbed down, Sam decided to go and look for what Jolinar knew of Teal'c.

A room, lit with torches. They flickered. Cronus was angry. He screamed and raged at the defeat. Jolinar tried to keep her fear at bay, to not give any of it away.

The Jaffa stepped forward and keeled down. Cronus shouted. The Jaffa pleaded. Jolinar suppressed the impulse to help him. It wouldn't do any good.

Cronus lunged forward and pulled the Goa'uld larvae from the man's chest and broke its neck. He screamed in pain. He screamed for minutes, before he was dragged away by guards. Dragged away to die.

Jolinar had talked to that Jaffa before. He was Cronus' First Prime. She knew he had a son. And now she remembered his name.

> _ Teal'c._
> 
> *I am almost certain he does not know I was present at his father's execution. I heard of him again when I learned that Apophis had chosen a new First Prime. Cronus and Apophis were mortal enemies then and still are.*
> 
> _ So he joined Apophis to revenge his father?_
> 
> *That is a very likely scenario, yes.*

  
Sam was taken aback by this new information, but she also knew that she couldn't really think about it now anyway. She was too tired to form a coherent thought at that subject.

Even as she thought this, she drifted into a long, dreamless sleep.


	4. Mutualism

Sam woke up refreshed the next morning. Sleeping in a real bed had been good for her, and she found that she was actually quite excited about facing this new day. Looking at the clock on her nightstand she found that it was quite late in the morning already, she had slept for well over 10 hours.

When she entered the mess hall thirty minutes later, it was buzzing with people. Sam said hi to a few people she knew from the labs, but then sat down at one of the few empty tables to eat her breakfast. She was just as hungry as she had been the day before and the pancakes smelled delicious.

Five minutes later, someone sat down on her table. When she looked up, she found Daniel sitting across from her, a big plate with his own breakfast in front of him.

"Hey, Daniel," she greeted him.

"Hey, Sam." He sipped on his coffee, flinching back when the hot drink touched his lips.

Sam took a sip of her own coffee and looked at Daniel, waiting for him to say something, but nothing came. "How are you today, Daniel?" she asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"Good. I'm good," he answered, just a bit too fast to make it believable. He looked tired despite the early hour.

Sam raised an eyebrow. "You don't look good."

"Thanks, that's always nice to hear," he replied and tried to laugh, but failed.

She rolled her eyes at him. "You know what I mean. Didn't sleep well, did you?"

Daniel nodded. "Not really. Too many thoughts, you know the kind...," he trailed off and looked at his breakfast plate as though the toast on it was very interesting.

"Okay, bring it on."

Daniel just looked at her confused.

Sam leaned back in her chair. "Come on, I know you don't just happen to use the cafeteria at the same time as I do – you work until the early mornings, and almost never have breakfast anyway. On some days you live on coffee and power bars. What is it you want to talk to me about?"

He took another bite from his toast and carefully chewed before answering her. "I just wanted to hear how you are doing," he said.

"I am doing reasonably well," Sam answered, not convinced that this was his real reason for being here, but giving Daniel the time he needed. "Everything's a bit confusing, but other than that..."

"I can imagine," Daniel said. "Must be one hell of a ride."

"It is. I don't know whether to be excited or terrified or just... confused." Sam shrugged. "Very complicated," she concluded.

"Not just for you," Daniel said, very quietly, but loud enough for Sam to hear.

"Daniel, is there anything I can do for you?"

Daniel sighed. "It's just... I've been thinking about Sha're a lot lately."

Sam nodded. "I can imagine."

"Something of the host survives, doesn't it? Even with the Goa'uld?" Daniel looked at her, his eyes filled with hope, but also with fear that she would shake her head and tell him there was no chance. Sam knew what was going on behind those eyes more than Daniel probably suspected.

Sam leaned across the table and lay her hand on his. "Yes, Daniel, something of the host survives. Everything of the host survives, actually." She squeezed his hand and let go of them again.

Daniel nodded. "Do the Tok'ra know anything about where she is right now?"

Sam used her new access to Jolinar's knowledge to answer that question. "The Tok'ra seem to have lost track of her a few weeks after Apophis implanted her with the Goa'uld," she answered. "But Jolinar has been out of the loop for almost that whole time now, so maybe they know where she is after all."

He sighed. "It just all seems a bit pointless, doesn't it? I mean, even if we find her and can bring her here, we destroyed Thor's Hammer and surgery obviously doesn't work, and then there's the NID, so..."

Searching through more of Jolinar's knowledge, Sam smiled as she found something to cheer Daniel up. "The Tok'ra have devices for removing Goa'uld from a host. They don't use it often, but it seems to be working."

Daniel's eyes lit up and as usual when he was excited he started to talk fast and gesticulate wildly. "Really? You mean they can just do that. Well, it does make sense, doesn't it? I mean, they've been fighting the Goa'uld for a long time now and with their advanced technology and their knowledge of Goa'uld physiology and their wish to only have willing hosts, it certainly was only a matter of time until they thought of such a thing."

"Daniel, Daniel, stop," Sam interrupted him when he was taking a breath.

"Sorry, Sam. This is just such good news."

"I know." She smiled. "I would have told you earlier, but... everything was just so hectic."

Daniel nodded.

"You just focus on bringing her home, I am sure we'll find a way to truly get her back then."

Daniel looked down, trying not to show his emotions, but Sam knew that he was touched. "Thanks, Sam."

* * *

Sam and Martouf stood in the gateroom only one hour later, dressed in Tok'ra clothing that would nevertheless pass as Goa'uld if they were questioned. The gate was spinning already, as Jolinar had provided the SGC with the address to one of the worlds that were ruled by Cronus. Jolinar has been to this planet before and said that the gate on it was not very heavily guarded. A follower of Cronus ruled the planet, but he had a Tok'ra called Ovlek in his service. They would have to tread carefully to see Olvek without being caught by Jaffa or catching the attention of the Goa'uld ruler. However, if that happened they had prepared a cover story about wishing to serve Cronus that would hopefully get them at least to a point where they could escape.

Sam had spoken to Teal'c, but the conversation had also been short. Teal'c wasn't one for long speeches and since Jolinar had been a spy in Cronus's ranks for several years there wasn't a lot of new information coming from that source. It had been good to talk to him for a bit, though.

Sam hadn't told him she now shared Jolinar's memories, though, because she was afraid of being judged for it in some way she couldn't explain. Though she knew Teal'c wasn't one to do that. The thought of someone knowing made her slightly uncomfortable.

The rest of SG-1 was in the control room to watch them go through the gate and when the wormhole had established, Sam looked up to them and waved good-bye before she stepped through the gate. They had not sent a MALP to check out the terrain and whether the gate was guarded as that would have drawn unnecessary attention.

Sam and Martouf stepped out into a beautiful scene. To their right was a thick forest, its color a deep green. To their left were gently sloping fields, yellow-golden with what probably was a variation of wheat. A few green fields resided between the what-fields, cattle grazing peacefully. In front of them, a path following the edge of the forest led to a big city in the far distance and the sun was setting, coloring the scenery in a vibrant orange.

There was little time to enjoy the stunning view, though, and Sam and Martouf took cover behind a few scattered trees to their right side as soon as they had arrived. There was no one in sight, but still they waited until the Stargate had been closed for a few moments before walking into the direction of the village, taking cover behind the trees next to the road while they did so.

Sam and Martouf arrived in the city after half an hour and hid their weapons in their clothes as to not draw attention to themselves but still be able to defend themselves quickly should the situation require it. The city was Greek in design, built from white stone, and only sparsely guarded, which surprised Sam, as Martouf had briefly told her that while the gate was left completely unguarded, there were usually several guards on every entrance. They were there to guard the city as well as to intimidate its citizens who had to work on the fields most of the day to ensure the food supply for several other planets, most of them used for naquadah mining.

The plan was to sneak into the palace instead of taking the blunt approach that Jolinar had taken last time she wanted to talk to a Tok'ra operative. For one, they did not want to talk to the actual ruler of the planet, and another reason was that while Sam's appearance was not known to many Goa'uld, Martouf's face was a danger.

When they arrived at one of the minor gates, they watched the guards for several minutes. There were only three of them and it was obvious they didn't pay very close attention to what was going on. Nevertheless, attacking them would only cause unwanted attention.

"We should wait until dusk," Lantash suggested.

"Shouldn't be too long now," Sam agreed and sat down in the safety of the trees. They would have another hour or so before it started getting dark. Though as she now realized, there might be more guards during the night. Sam asked Martouf about that.

"Even if they increase the guards during the night, we should be able to get inside relatively easy without them seeing us. The walls are not very high and meant to keep people inside, not to keep people out."

Sam saw what he meant and nodded. The walls were about twice as high as a human of average height, so that without external means no one could climb them. But the forest also extended very close to the walls and when it was dark, they might be able to just climb on a tree and jump onto the wall. Getting down might hurt, but she had learned how to do that with minimal damage during military training. Their exercises then had been from higher heights. Besides, now she had the advantage of a built-in healing device.

Less than an hour later, it was almost dark. The last of the inhabitants of this planet seemed to return to the city, some of them laden with recently harvested crop and other with animals that Sam guessed were chosen for meat production.

Soon afterwards, Martouf started to move away from the nearby gate and towards the trees that stood close to the wall. Sam followed him, always keeping out of sight of the guards by hiding behind the trees. She could hear her heart pounding and could only hope that they wouldn't make any sounds that alerted the guards to their presence.

Finally, they reached a tree that looked like it could be easily climbed. Martouf looked at her questioningly, and Sam nodded. This would do. Martouf climbed up the tree before her, testing the branches for support. Sam climbed up behind him when he was halfway up. The climb wasn't too bad, the branches were relatively thick and well-spaced out. Martouf reached the branch that extended a bit under the top of the wall after less than two minutes and puled himself up to sit on the barrier, waiting for Sam.

Sam followed him, but could already hear a low cracking sound when she climbed on the last branch. The wall was still more than a step away and she quickly took that step and grasped at the wall, just in time to hear the wood crack completely. She looked down and saw that it was falling to the ground. It landed with an audible thud.

Her fingers firmly held on top of the wall and she tried to pull herself up, but the top seemed to be covered in moss and she started to slip. Then she felt Martouf touch her right hand.

"Let go," he whispered.

"You'll only slip yourself," Sam quietly said back, hoping that the Jaffa either couldn't hear them or would think it was people inside the city speaking. She struggled with pulling herself up, but it was a futile attempt. She let go of the border with her right hand and could feel Martouf's strong grasp. He pulled her up enough so that she could swing her right leg onto the top of the wall and after that, pulling herself up fully was no problem.

There were the sounds of footsteps. And they were coming closer, from the outer part. Sam looked at Martouf and knew that he had heard it as well.

Both of them pushed themselves off the wall.

The fall was deeper than Sam had thought – there was a ditch on the other side of the wall, probably meant to make it more difficult for the people inside the city to get up the wall. Sam landed as had learned in training and rolled off her shoulders to minimize the impact, but she could still feel a sharp pain. But it didn't feel like anything had been broken or seriously damaged, and she got up quickly. Martouf beside her seemed to be fine as well.

The landing hadn't been any less audible then the branch falling on the floor and so they weren't safe yet. There was a clear strip of land around the wall, but the first houses had been built less than a short sprint away and so Sam and Martouf did just that, they ran until they reached the first houses. But even there they only stopped for a little while and then continued further into the city, only this time slower and using the dark alleys for cover.

Following Martouf, Sam thought about what they had to do next. The palace had to be in the center of the city, that much was clear. But how would they enter it? Martouf hadn't talked about that.

> *We will have to sneak in.*
> 
> _ Any ideas as to how?_
> 
> *There are some hidden tunnels, but I am not exactly sure where they are. But if we go in by force, we certainly will not be able to get out again. Martouf will probably know what to do when we get there. Although I am not quite sure whether he had actually ever been here and went in that way.*
> 
> _ Do you want to do this?_
> 
> *Not until I am needed. I will start to heal your injuries in the meantime.*

  
The city was as big as it had looked from the outside and it took them several minutes to get near the center. The streets were wider and better now, the houses a bit bigger and better cared for, though still far from quality work made by people who had much time to build their homes. These people had to work a lot and couldn't care for other things as much as they wanted.

It took them a little less than an hour to arrive near the palace. The building was big and seemed well-guarded. Sam couldn't make out any details due to the bad lighting, but she could tell that it was an impressive building, like some of the Greek official buildings she had seen in books. The Goa'uld really loved to show off with their palaces.

"There should be an unguarded entry point on the west side," Martouf whispered.

"So, have you been here before?" she whispered.

"No. But I have met Ovlek before and he told me that this was how an intruder once managed to get in. Now let us just hope that this information still applies."

They walked to the west side of the palace, taking cover in the dark alleys leading away from it. The stretch between the houses and the palace was not very wide and so Sam hoped that a good sprint while no guard watched would be everything that was needed to gain entrance.

The entry point Martouf had spoken of was not easy to find in the dark, but finally, they found it. It was far removed from the palace doors on this side and Sam felt a bit better knowing that there was a good chance the guards wouldn't see them even if they should happen to look into the right direction.

Martouf looked at Sam, and when she looked back they nodded. Sam counted to three and they both ran towards the palace walls, ducked so they would not be seen.

The entry was hidden behind two large bushes and squeezing in made some noise that Sam could only hope wouldn't be heard by the guards. Sam and Martouf pressed themselves against the cold walls and held their breaths while they listened for any signs that their arrival had been noticed. As there was no indication for that, they moved onwards.

It was very dark inside, but Martouf had brought a small flashlight with him and led the way. The corridor widened after a while, there seemed to be a whole network of hidden tunnels built into the building. At one time, they reached a dead end and had to turn back, but other than that they moved swiftly and in silence.

"This is it," Martouf whispered as they stood in what seemed to be another dead end. "Let us hope he is present." He then proceeded to knock on the wall in front of him, which sounded a lot thinner than it looked.

They waited for over a minute before the wall swung back and the entrance was cleared.

Ovlek stood a bit beside the entrance. He was a tall, but clearly old man with graying hair, but facial features that marked him as someone who you wouldn't want to come across. He stood tall and like he was used to being treated with respect. He had worked his way up in the Goa'uld ranks and it had left marks.

"Martouf." He nodded.

Jolinar took over control over Sam's body, and she and Martouf climbed out of the tunnel into the room. They were in his private quarters.

"Ovlek," Martouf replied. "This is Jolinar."

Ovlek nodded in greeting and so did Jolinar. Since Jolinar and Ovlek had never met before he didn't seem to notice the switch in host body. "How may I be of service?" he asked, formal as all the Tok'ra seemed to be on the outside.

"We only have a few brief questions and then we will be on our way again," Martouf explained. "Have you heard of the attack on the Tok'ra base?"

Ovlek nodded. "I have."

"Have you been given the new location? We were injured during the attack and could not relocate with the others."

"Yes, I have been informed briefly." He drew the coordinates on the table in front of him with his fingers, and both Sam and Jolinar memorized them.

"Good," said Martouf quietly. "We were not sure whether the new coordinates had already been given out to all operatives."

Ovlek only nodded. "If this is the only reason for your presence here then I suggest you leave quickly. This is not the safest place right now. I can show you how to get out of here without being caught."

"Actually, we are also here to ask you whether you know anything about the Ashrak that was sent after me and the attack on the base. Does Cronus have anything to do with either?" Jolinar asked.

Ovlek raised an eyebrow. "I have heard nothing about the attack from Cronus, but the news that you survived has reached Cronus, and he is not satisfied with that outcome. Whether he was the one to send the Ashrak I cannot say, however. I was planning to include that in my next official communication."

"Thank you." Jolinar looked at Martouf, who shook his head to indicate that he had no further questions. "Then let us leave," Jolinar said and thanked the other Tok'ra for the information again.

He showed them a hidden passage in the walls of his quarters out of the building so that they could avoid running into the guards and then Sam and Martouf were alone again.

"That was quick," Sam said, standing still while her eyes adjusted to the almost complete darkness of the corridor they were in.

"Yes, he can be rather... monosyllabic," Martouf replied and turned on his flashlight again.

Slowly, Sam started to be able to see her surroundings. The corridor only led one way, so the decision where to turn to was rather easy.

The corridor was long and so they walked in silence a while, until suddenly, Sam felt herself being pressed against the wall so hard that it took her breath away. No sound escaped her lips, and after a second she realized it had been Martouf who had grabbed her. She looked at him, and he pointed to his ears.

A few moments later, she could hear it as well. Footsteps, several heavy footsteps. And they were approaching. Sam didn't dare to do as much as breath as she cowered down and pressed herself against the cold stone wall. The corridor was wide here, enough space for several people to walk next to each other.

The sounds were coming closer. Sam couldn't hear how close they were as the empty corridor made all sounds echo off from the walls and thus it was hard to pinpoint the location of the source. But they were definitely getting closer.

There was no way of telling whether the footsteps came from outside the corridor or from its inside. Sam and Martouf were only a few steps away from the first crossing they had seen and Sam carefully edged closer to the turn and glanced down to her left and then to her right. There was no one in sight and so she waved for Martouf to come closer.

"Which way?" she whispered.

Martouf shrugged, then pointed to their right. Only another few dozen steps from them in that direction was a turn to the left.

But just as they were about to turn, the sounds once again became louder and Sam could catch a glimpse of metal as the first Jaffa came out of the left-hand tunnel. It didn't take long for Sam's instincts to kick in, and she turned rapidly to her right and started running down that way while pushing Martouf into the same direction.

The guards shouted. They had seen them. The corridor was long in that direction, but it still wasn't enough distance to protect Sam and Martouf from their weapons. It was still a few steps to the next turn when the first staff weapon was fired. Sam could feel it barely missing her shoulder and when it hit the wall right beside her, a few shards from the wall painfully made their way into her skin and scraped her face.

Martouf ran around the corner, Sam close behind him. But the second blast from a staff weapon hit her right knee. She didn't feel any pain, but the impact was enough to make her stumble just before she could escape around the corner. With her last reserves, she flung herself to her left to follow Martouf and landed on her hands, protecting her face from the fall. The pain from the wound finally got to her and she wanted to scream out in pain. Sam bit her lip, but a small sound still escaped her lips.

Martouf, who was already halfway down the corridor, stopped and turned around. Seeing her lying on the floor, he ran towards her.

Sam tried to get up again, but her knee wouldn't support her weight at all. When she looked down, she saw that the gash was much bigger than she had thought. She crawled more than stumbled into Martouf's direction, but she could already tell she wouldn't be able to make it. But she could delay the guards. They wouldn't get both of them.

Martouf arrived by her side and tried to help her up, but Sam shook her head, refusing his help.

"I can't. Get out," she screamed at Martouf.

"I won't leave you here," he replied. The guards were close now, and would turn the corner within seconds.

Without any hesitation, Jolinar took over. "Go, you damn fool," she said to Martouf and pushed him away from her in the direction of what she hoped would be the exit, the way to safety. She could only hope that there were no more Jaffa that way. Martouf lost his balance and took a step into the direction, but still didn't leave.

He tried to grab her hand to pull her up, but Jolinar pulled away.

That second, the Jaffa came around the corner and within a split moment, a staff weapon was directed at Sam and Martouf.

"Go," Jolinar said again and finally, Martouf did as she told him and turned to run. One of the Jaffa fired his weapon at him. It wasn't a conscious decision, but Jolinar pushed herself off the floor with what little strength she had left, ignoring the pain from the gaping wound in her leg and got up enough to throw herself in the missile's path, protecting Martouf.

The staff weapon hit her directly in the chest.

* * *

Sam awakened with every bone and every muscle in her body screaming in pain. She was lying on her back and she wanted to look at where she was, but her eyes would not open at first and so she tried to grasp her surroundings by her other senses. It was warm, almost hot wherever she was and there was a smell of burning wood. The sound of crackling fire completed the picture.

> *This is not good.*

  
Sam had a headache and the resounding voice of her symbiote in her head did nothing to ease the pain.

> _Yeah, that much is clear. How bad is it?_
> 
> *Well, we are not dead as we should be judging from the location of the hit, so I would conclude we have been revived by a sarcophagus.*
> 
> _That's not good, right? It couldn't have been the Tok'ra?_
> 
> *Tok'ra do not use the sarcophagus.

  
Sam tried to move her hand, but didn't get very far. Warm metal rubbed against the skin on her wrist. So she was bound. This was not going to go well indeed.

"You are awake." The voice was deep and clearly belonged to a Goa'uld. "Very good," it added.

Sam did not agree with this assessment. Finally, she was able to open her eyes and turned her head to look in the direction that the voice came from. What she saw really didn't do anything to make her feel better – the Goa'uld was tall and muscular and was already sliding on one of the Goa'uld ribbon devices. A brief glance at the big fireplace behind him revealed that there were several tools being heated by the flames.

> *I have withstood torture before.*

  
Sam did not feel reassured by this admission.

> _ Well, I haven't._
> 
> *We will get through this. Together.*

  
Sam wondered how exactly Jolinar was planning to get through this. The way this looked, they were going to get tortured, probably to death and then revived only to have that happen again until they talked. There was a door in the room, but it was guarded by two Jaffa armed with staff weapons who didn't look like they were planning to rebel against the being posing as their God.

"There is no need to draw this out, you know. Just tell me how to find your Tok'ra friends, and this will all be over."

Jolinar raised her head and looked at him as determined as possible under the circumstances. "I know nothing, and I will tell you nothing," she said.

The Goa'uld sneered. "Very well. Then this is going to be a bit more fun." The ribbon device glowed in his hand and Sam tried to prepare herself for the pain that would result from this.

However, as she soon discovered, there was no effective way to prepare for this kind of pain. Her head felt like it was about to explode, her lungs felt like she was breathing fire and her heart pounded so fast she was afraid it would break her ribs.

Then the pain dulled. It was still there, but softer, less sharp and not quite so unbearable. But instead she could now feel Jolinar inside of her screaming in pain. Jolinar was pushing Sam's mind aside, trying to protect her human mind from the pain that was designed to make her crack.

All her senses were dulled now, but the pain ebbed away. Sam could see the Goa'uld turn away and walk towards the fire, pulling one of the torture instruments out of it.

> *We will get through this.*

  
Sam tried focusing, but it was hard. The world fogged over and shortly afterward, there was a sharp burst of pain. Something hot was touching her skin, leaving burn marks.

He talked to her, but she couldn't understand what he was saying. Sam felt Jolinar answer and knew it was her denying their torturer answers.

Another sharp pain which then gradually dulled. Sam could feel the life draining out of herself. In her mind, she wondered how often a human body was able to withstand this. Then she died the second time.

* * *

"Stop with this!" someone shouted.

Sam didn't immediately recognized the voice, but Jolinar did. It was during one of the rather short pauses in the torture, when her torturer was preparing his instruments. Jolinar was still holding on in the foreground, fiercely protecting Sam's mind in ways Sam had never thought possible. Still, every time the world turned black she felt herself dying in full intensity as Jolinar did the same and when she later woke up in the sarcophagus, Sam felt a little weaker, a little less human. She knew from Jolinar's memories that this was why the Tok'ra didn't use the sarcophagus despite that meaning that their numbers were getting smaller – it would corrupt the very essence of what the Tok'ra were.

Jolinar opened her eyes and saw that the Goa'uld who tortured them turned to face the intruder. "I am only getting started."

"We received new information," Ovlek replied.

The Goa'uld folded his arms across his chest. "Such as?" he asked skeptically.

"We shall discuss that in private."

With a short groan the Goa'uld lay aside the ribbon device he was holding and followed Ovlek out of the room. He shot Sam one last glance before stepping through the door which did nothing to settle Sam's mind, although there now was some hope rising in there. Ovlek had not looked at her in the entire time he had been in the room with her.

Sam heard some faint voices while they were away, but could not make out any of the words that were spoken.

> *He will get us out of here.*
> 
> _How? We ran away from the Jaffa. It's pretty obvious that you are not Goa'uld from that._
> 
> *I am sure he thought of something.*

  
Sam couldn't be as confident as Jolinar was, and she also felt that Jolinar was not as confident as she tried to appear. She could feel her symbiote's doubt as if it were her own.

After several more minutes, the door swung open and the Jaffa guarding the door stepped aside. But it was only Ovlek returning and he quickly moved to where Sam was bound.

"I am very sorry for this regretful mistake," he said loudly.

Sam guessed the Goa'uld was probably still standing outside, listening to them. She wondered how Ovlek had convinced him that Jolinar was actually a Goa'uld.

"This has been a terrible mistake," Ovlek stated again and started to open the cuffs holding Sam in place. The areas where they had rubbed the skin felt sore even though the sarcophagus had healed all wounds on her body very recently.

Jolinar was holding onto control of the body now, but Sam knew it was an advantage right now. Jolinar's reflexes were faster than hers and this was a dangerous situation. Sam could still feel the after-effects of the sarcophagus use, making her unfocused.

Ovlek helped her stand up and waited until the dizziness that immediately followed passed before leading her through a few corridors. They ended up in his quarters, and he carefully checked the area around his door before closing it and starting to talk. Jolinar settled down on a chair, exhausted from the physical torture despite the use of the sarcophagus.

Ovlek remained standing, from time to time glancing at the door. He talked quietly and hushed. "You can count yourself lucky that Gawar is absent right now and I have temporarily taken his place. Otherwise, I would not have been able to convince anyone that you are actually one of Cronus' spies and were handing me information that only I alone could receive. Halek did not see any reason to inform me of your capture and just started his way of retrieving information."

Jolinar bowed her head. "Thank you for your help."

Ovlek nodded in acknowledgment. "I had no idea that the secret passages were being patrolled now. That must be a recent development. My position is not safe at the moment."

"What about Martouf?" Jolinar asked, now that the situation was settling down, at least for a while, again remembering that something might have happened to Martouf and Lantash.

"For all I know he managed to escape. The guards are saying they saw two people fleeing from them, but I told them they must be mistaken and have called off the search." Ovlek started pacing the room.

Jolinar breathed a sigh of relief. Martouf might already be with the other Tok'ra by now or maybe he was hiding in the city until he could leave without fear of being caught, but he was probably alive and well. She had managed to save him. "What happens now?" Jolinar asked.

"Return to the base now if you want to. The whole palace is currently busy with preparations for the arrival of one of Cronus' new ships tomorrow. Your little visit might not attract too much attention if long as I can keep Halek from saying anything. Maybe it is time to get rid of him altogether."

Jolinar nodded, but completely disregarded the last sentence, declaring it to be Ovlek's problem. Instead, she was interested in something else Ovlek had said. "There will be one of Cronus' ships passing by soon?"

He nodded. "Tomorrow. Cronus might be on it. It is an experimental ship and he wishes to see what it is capable of. We have one spy aboard that ship already," Ovlek said.

Jolinar's thoughts were jumbled and fast, and Sam was almost unable to follow her. Jolinar suddenly wanted to board the ship, to take this opportunity to resume her work in Cronus' ranks and to find out who had betrayed her cover the last time. The idea was only half-thought out and vague, but Jolinar felt strongly about it.

And strangely, Sam felt the same desire. She wasn't sure whether it was actually herself agreeing with what Jolinar wanted or whether this was an effect of the blending, that she now shared Jolinar's goals, but she was also certain that the borders between those two options were breaking down. Or maybe they had already collapsed.

"Can you bring me aboard?" Jolinar asked, and Sam didn't protest.

Ovlek looked at her confused for a second. "Why would you want that?"

"I have my reasons." Jolinar looked him hard in the eyes, revealing no emotion to him.

Sam was taken aback by this a bit. She was also surprised by her own surprise. Somehow, she had almost forgotten that Jolinar's personality was different from her own – that Jolinar was sometimes blunt and arrogant, but also irrational in ways that Sam would never dare to. Centuries of working amidst the Tok'ra against the Goa'uld had shaped her in different ways than Sam had been through her military upbringing.

Her counterpart raised an eyebrow, but otherwise ignored Jolinar's tone. "To answer your question, yes, I could bring you aboard if you pose as one of the Jaffa bringing food onto the ship, which is what they are stopping here for."

"Good," Jolinar said. "That will do. I would be grateful if you would refrain from telling the Tok'ra what I am about to do."

Ovlek nodded. Sam found Jolinar's request odd, as did he apparently, but no one commented on it.

And with that, the plan was settled.

* * *

The next day, after a few hours of sleep, Sam followed the instructions she had been given by Ovlek. She entered the ship with a few Jaffa, feeling very uncomfortable in the Jaffa gear. But no one questioned her or why she had the hood covering her head. After bringing a few boxes filled with food and water aboard, she started lagging behind and finally went down a deserted corridor all by herself.

Jolinar knew quite a bit about the layout of Goa'uld motherships and this ship only slightly differed from the standard design, so in the end they ended up where they had planned to – in a completely unused area at the base of the huge ship. It was a huge ship and for a ship of this size there were relatively few Jaffa and Goa'uld aboard, so this part of the ship was unlikely to be used at all during the test journey.

Nevertheless, Sam and Jolinar treaded carefully. The ship would be launched in less than an hour and they didn't want to start wandering around until several hours after the launch when fewer people were walking around the corridors to prepare things.

This part of the ship was supposed to be used as quarters for Jaffa. The rooms were simple but livable, with four beds in each room and a bathroom for two quarters. Sam chose the last one in the dead end of a corridor and struggled out of the Jaffa uniform. Jolinar and Sam were still unsure on whether the best course of action would be to pretend to be a Jaffa or to try and sneak around the ship. The later would be a huge problem if she was caught, but the former would be a problem the moment she ran into someone and had to talk. Jaffa uniforms were not really designed to be stealthy in them.

For now, though, she could only sit and wait. She drank some water and after half an hour became bored enough to contemplate going on a little tour of the ship already, but Jolinar suggested some more patience.

*

In the end, Sam decided that wearing the Jaffa uniform would impair her movement too much. She snuck around a few of the unused corridors on the first day she was on the ship and found clothes that made her look more like our run-of-the-mill Goa'uld servant, but she would still try to avoid being seen by anyone. As she also found out during those excursions was that the ship was rather empty. Goa'uld motherships were huge and could carry thousands of Jaffa warriors to get them into battle, but this ship seemed to barely have one hundred Jaffa on board and only one or two dozen Goa'uld with their human servants.

In essence, Sam and Jolinar could explore the ship relatively un-bothered. It dropped in and out of hyperspace a few times and Sam guessed this was because they were experimenting with the drive. She would have liked to go into the engine room or see what was happening on the bridge, but that was where most of the action was centered, and she couldn't really risk just trying to pass for one of the human servants a few of the Goa'uld had brought.

After the first day, she got rather confident in her knowledge of the ship and went more into the inner regions where the private quarters of the Goa'uld and their close servants were located. Sam still had to get used to the fact that the Goa'uld had human servants like that – when she traveled with SG-1, they mostly encountered Jaffa and humans who worshiped the Goa'uld, but not those that were around the Goa'uld constantly and were responsible for their master's well-being.

Sam contemplated trying to pose as one of those servants, but decided against it because of the risks. While most of the Goa'uld she had so far encountered didn't seem like they would notice which humans were around them, they would be able to sense Jolinar. Also, she didn't really want to think about whether the Goa'uld were in the habit of using their human servants for something more than bringing them food. And so far, she hadn't figured out how to get off this ship again unless she stayed on it until it landed.

Many of the doors she encountered while walking through that part of the ship were locked and she didn't have anything with her to open them by force. That also would have attracted too much attention.

She was standing at a corner in a corridor, thinking of a way to get into one of the used quarters where she might be able to gather some information when someone ran into her. She hadn't seen or heard him coming and staggered to hold her balance.

"I am very sorry," the man said in a low voice, looking at the floor. "Please forgive me." He apparently thought that she was a Goa'uld.

Jolinar had lived pretending to be a Goa'uld for many decades and her reflexes kicked in. She pushed aside Sam's mind and took over control. "Whom do you serve?" she demanded to know.

> _What are you doing?_

  
Sam had wanted to just go on, hoping the servant would forget he ever saw her and now Jolinar was talking to him.

"I serve Lord Talkar," the man answered.

Sam froze. She had heard the name before. Actually, she had met him before, on the planet Jolinar had visited with her to get information on the Tok'ra base location. He was the one that Jolinar had suspected of sending the Ashrak.

"Where does your Lord reside?"

> _ Are you crazy?_

  
Sam couldn't believe what Jolinar was doing. She was going to try and sneak into Talkar's quarters, Sam could feel it.

The human servant described the way to Talkar's quarters.

"You can go now," Jolinar dismissed him afterward.

> *I am not going to look for his quarters right now, if this is what you are concerned about. It is just an option to consider.*
> 
> _Good then._

  
Sam remained unconvinced, but didn't voice her concerns. Jolinar and Talkar seemed to have a history of differing opinions and minor fights that seemed to have no apparent reason.

They walked on and Sam was just about to go around another corner when she could hear the sound of a door first opening and closing. There was the sound of footsteps. Sam walked another step forward and carefully looked around the corner. A figure that looked like a Goa'uld was walking in the opposite direction.

She waited until the figure had disappeared around the next bend before entering the corridor herself. Jolinar didn't object to her plan and so Sam proceeded to the door on the right-hand side that the Goa'uld probably came from. She tried the opening mechanism, not expecting it to work, but the door opened without any further problems. Sam pushed herself against the wall in surprise, but nothing happened. She entered the room.

It was a rather simple room, yet a lot more luxurious than the Jaffa quarters she had seen so far. Sam concluded that it was indeed one of the Goa'uld quarters and not used for the human servants. It was spacious and held more than the necessary furniture.

But Sam couldn't look around for long before there was a noise from the door. Instinctively, Sam flung herself into the first hiding place she could find – the empty wardrobe. Someone came into the quarters, and the door closed behind him.

The person moved around some more and then there was silence for a while. Just as Sam thought she might risk opening the wardrobe door a bit to see what was going on, she heard a Goa'uld voice.

"What are you contacting me for?" the voice said impatiently.

There was an answer and Sam figured that the Goa'uld had been contacted by a long-range communications device. But Sam couldn't understand what it was saying. The voice wasn't talking very loudly.

"Then speak," the Goa'uld replied.

"There is not much time," the voice said a bit louder and Sam could tell that she knew this voice. Well, not she, but Jolinar did. She pressed her ear harder against the wood.

"Then speak quickly," the Goa'uld said impatiently. "Cronus has not been pleased with your silence lately."

"I see," the other Goa'uld replied. "Well, I have new information. Most of the Tok'ra could escape the last attack and have relocated. I am transferring the new location to you now."

Now Jolinar recognized the voice. It belonged to a Tok'ra named Cordesh, whom she had talked to when she was on base quite frequently. Well, he called himself a Tok'ra, but surely, if he willingly handed over information like this he wasn't really one...

"The last attack wasn't very successful and Cronus was not pleased with that outcome. The Tok'ra appeared to have been forewarned," the Goa'uld replied. Sam could hear him pacing the room.

"I assure you if they were forewarned they certainly didn't hear from me," Cordesh defended himself. Sam felt slightly sick at hearing him talk like that. While Jolinar and he hadn't been friends, they had still been friendly towards each other. But there was no doubt as to who that voice belonged to.

"You can only hope that Cronus believes you, Cordesh," the Goa'uld said, eliminating any doubt Sam could have had about the identity of the spy in the Tok'ra ranks. She was shocked by this discovery. "I will notify Cronus of what you said when he joins us here in two days time. This ship's technology will certainly make an attack... more successful. Make sure to contact me again."

"I will."

Their conversation was over and Sam held her breath when the Goa'uld's attention shifted away from the communication device again. But there was no need for her nervousness as he left the room only minutes later. Shortly afterwards, she stepped out of her hiding place and didn't bother to search the room any further – she had certainly gained enough new information right now.

The door opened and Sam carefully into the corridor. Coming out of a Goa'uld's personal quarters would certainly attract attention. But the corridor was empty. She was able to make it back down to the deserted areas of the ship without being noticed. Her heart didn't stop beating quickly until minutes after she sat down on the floor in the room she had chosen for herself.

> *I would have never suspected him.*

  
Sam leaned against the wall and closed her eyes for a moment. She needed to rest for a while, let this sink in. It definitely had not been what she had expected.

> _ I know you didn't._
> 
> *This is a huge loss for the Tok'ra movement. We must leave the ship and tell them as soon as possible. Before the new base is also attacked and more people die.*

  
Sam felt the sadness that Jolinar felt when she thought about the blow this would be to the Tok'ra. With their few numbers, every Tok'ra counted and every loss was hard. Of course the Council had to be informed of this quickly so steps could be taken. Sam wondered what these steps would involve.

> _ Do you think he had something to do with the Ashrak attack?_
> 
> *Quite possibly, yes. He could certainly have gathered information on where I was, even if he never heard about it officially. I probably told him myself that I was being sent to one of Cronus's planets.*

  
Sam knew that Jolinar was getting angry at herself and quickly tried to change the subject.

> _ How are we going to get out of here?_
> 
> *Well, we cannot wait until the ship lands the next time, as we had planned. We could, but that could take days. If they plan to use this ship in the attack, maybe as a test for a new weapons system, and that is what that sounded like, that might not be enough time to warn the others.*
> 
> _ So we will need a ship._
> 
> *Yes. There are definitely gliders on board and likely there are also cargo ships. I can imagine that they are not being too heavily guarded on a ship like this. Though there will definitely be Jaffa around that area.*

  
Sam thought about this and agreed with Jolinar. A cargo ship capable of entering hyperspace would be very good for getting off the ship and onto a planet that had a Stargate.

> _ And what do we do about this ship?_
> 
> *About this ship?*
> 
> _ They are planning to use it in the attack. Maybe we can do something about that?_
> 
> *If we could get close to the engine and the weapons system, maybe.*
> 
> _ Are you familiar with this kind of technology?_
> 
> *A bit.*

  


* * *

By the next day, after some rest, Sam and Jolinar had come up with a rudimentary plan. Sam had actually managed to convince Jolinar that they would not pursue Talkar further. It would add too much of a risk to this already risky plan.

The engine room was in the ship's core. On a ship this big that meant it was quite far away from the bridge. Sam stepped into the Jaffa uniform she had with her, hoping that it would keep anyone from second-guessing her purpose.

To her surprise, what she had planned actually worked. No one even took notice of her as she made her way through the ship, and as she approached the core region, she managed to join a group of five Jaffa that seemed to be going into the same direction. Inwardly, Sam was terrified, but she tried to get around that by concentrating on appearing as a Jaffa. Her steps were hard and she tried to look tall, carrying her staff weapon as she had seen Jaffa do countless times before.

As it turned out, the group she was following really had the engine room as its goal. The Jaffa entered a code on the door and then stepped into the big room, none of them questioning her about her intentions. Sam slowed down a little, and, when she lagged a few steps behind the Jaffa, turned to the right. There was several small rooms on each side of the engine room and her goal was a part of the weapon system. If she could just remove the right crystals in those controls, the ones responsible for the cooling mechanisms, nothing would seem wrong at first, until the weapons were being fired at high speed, at which point the temperature in the systems would rise and hopefully cause an explosion.

Apart from the Jaffa that she had followed earlier, she couldn't hear anyone. Sam looked into several of the rooms before she found a control console that Jolinar recognized as definitely belonging to the weapon systems.

Sam knelt down to work, but found that it was almost impossible in the too big uniform. "Damn," she muttered under her breath. She could not handle the delicate crystals like this. A quick glance outside assured her that there were no Jaffa standing outside and so she went into a corner and got rid of the uniform as fast as possible. She hid it behind what seemed to be some garbage from the ship's construction.

Finally able to work, Sam knelled down beside the control console and opened it with a push. There were blue, green and orange crystals and Sam just hoped Jolinar recognized the configuration.

> _ Which one?_
> 
> *The blue ones, I would guess.*
> 
> _ Guessing isn't enough right now. There isn't much time._
> 
> *I know. But I have never seen this specific configuration before.*
> 
> _ Then blue it is._
> 
> *Remove the upper blue crystal and switch the lower right one with the red one beside it. Also take the yellow one on the lower left side, it should contain back-ups of the weapon system configuration. That might be useful.*

  
Sam did as Jolinar told her to. The ship did not crash, which she took as a good sign.

> _ That was it?_
> 
> *I do not know. But we do not have any way to test it.*

  
Sam closed the console again and put the crystals she had just removed into one of her pockets. As Jolinar said, there was no way to test whether this manipulation actually worked. Now all she needed to do was get back to her quarters until she could be sure that the sabotage hadn't been witnessed and then sneak into the glider bay and steal a glider. She put the Jaffa uniform on again, which proved to be quite tricky.

Another glance outside assured her that once again, the path was clear and so she made her way to the door of the engine room. It opened automatically when approached from the inside and Sam stepped through, the door closing behind her.

> *Maybe we should proceed to the glider bay immediately.*
> 
> _Why the change of plans?_
> 
> *I just have a bad feeling. Removing the crystals might alert someone soon after all.*
> 
> _Sure, we can go to the glider bay as soon as possible. Should we get rid of the uniform before that?_
> 
> *Maybe. The way there might require an a bit... more subtle approach.*

  
Sam walked through the corridors that would lead her back closer to the glider room, as she had a few times before since this was also the way to the lower levels. There were abandoned quarters on the way, something she had discovered earlier. Their doors weren't locked in any way, so Sam just entered one of them, her hand on the zat gun. But it wasn't necessary, the room was empty. She struggled out o the uniform again and left it in a corner.

After Sam left the room, she made sure that no one was around. The hallway was empty and so she left confident enough no one would hear her that she shot the door opening mechanism. At the very least, it would make it harder for someone to enter that room now. She was nervous. The uniform had offered a kind of security, even though she knew that should anyone have actually talked to her, her cover would have been blown.

Sam continued on her way to the glider bay, this time sneaking through the corridors, her back against the walls on more than one occasion. She was caught completely off-guard when suddenly a door only a few steps away from her slid back and ducked back into a corridor she had just left. She walked into the direction away from the door, trying not to make a sound when she realized she could hear two sets of footsteps, one from behind her and one in front of her.

The sound coming from ahead stopped and Sam edged closer into that direction. Whoever it had been that had just exited the door also passed her position without noticing. And then Sam realized that she was in the part of the ship where she had met Talkar's servant. The footsteps came closer again and Sam pressed her body against the wall as hard as she could and didn't dare to breathe.

But the figure passed by her, not seeing her at all. It was indeed the familiar figure of Talkar. Once he had turned around the next corner, Sam slowly leaned out of the corridor to see whether the path was clear and when she saw that it was safe, she walked to the door to Talkar's quarters.

> *This is the only chance we will get for this.*
> 
> _ I know. It's still stupid._

  
While Sam really believed that it was a stupid idea, especially since she had just managed to talk Jolinar out of this plan earlier this day, curiosity got the better of her. The door to his quarters was open in less than a minute's time. Sam slid in and let the door close behind her, exhaling loudly in relief when she saw that the room was indeed empty.

It was what looked like a standard Goa'uld quarters, very few personal things lying on the surfaces. He certainly hadn't been on board this ship long and also wasn't planning to stay for long.

Sam could only hope that he would stay away for as long as she needed to find... whatever it was that she was hoping to find. There was a nightstand and a table, but she found nothing of interest on there. Next were the drawers next to the bed, in which she found a ribbon device and a communication device, but nothing that was out of the ordinary.

"Found anything interesting so far?"

Sam froze. She knew that voice and she was in trouble now. Her mind raced as she considered her options, but there were few of them. She had a zat weapon, but it was hidden from view and she knew she also had one directed at her. He had talked like he knew he had the upper hand. There was only one exit from the room and Talkar was standing there right now, blocking it. She needed more time to think about what to do. But she didn't have time.

She turned around. Talkar had a zat weapon aimed at her from his left hand and was wearing a ribbon device on his right. The door behind him was closed. With not a moment's hesitation, he hit her with a blast from the ribbon device. Sam's body flew backward and crashed into the drawer. The weapon dropped out of her hand and fell to the floor next to her.

"I knew I saw someone standing in that corridor, trying to disappear into the shadows when I went by," Talkar said, his eyes flashing in anger.

There was no more doubt in Sam's mind that this... being was not what he pretended to be. He certainly was not the loyal Tok'ra he pretended to be.

Before Sam could react, she felt Jolinar take control, Sam's eyes flashing as well in the process.

"So you are not even trying to pretend that we are on the same side anymore, are you?" Jolinar said angrily and got up from the floor.

Talkar did not do anything to stop her. "Oh, but I am on your side. Well, not on your side specifically. But I am still one of the Tok'ra."

Jolinar raised an eyebrow. "A Tok'ra who attacks another Tok'ra is a Goa'uld and will be treated accordingly." She was in no position to make threats, but she was angry at him and at herself. They should have never entered his quarters. This was not going to end well.

Talkar lowered the ribbon device a bit, but the zat was still pointed at Sam. He was tense enough that in the time she would need to get out her weapon and aim, she would by lying on the floor in pain from the next blast.

"Be assured that I would not attack any other Tok'ra. Only you, Jolinar of Malkshur."

"Interesting. What have I done to deserve such high honors?" Jolinar responded.

His voice became human again, but lost nothing of its snide and angry tone. "Do you really not know? It is hard for me to think that."

"Well, if you are going to send the Jaffa to torture me anyway, you might as well tell me why. Not that I will tell them anything. Others have tried that and failed."

Had Sam been in control, she would have flinched a bit at the memory of the last experience with Goa'uld torture methods. This way, all Talkar could see was the cold determination that Jolinar was projecting outside.

"Oh, but I am not planning on handing you over. You still do not understand. I am not against the Tok'ra, just against you. I would never hand over a Tok'ra with so much valuable information to the Goa'uld." He paused. " No, I will just kill you myself."

"You are nothing more than a Goa'uld." Jolinar's voice was dripping with hate, but inwardly, she was mostly confused. The news about Cordesh's betrayal were still so fresh and now she could not understand what Talkar was saying.

"Do you even still remember Zamat, Jolinar of Malkshur?"

Jolinar froze at the mention of this name. Sam saw images of a dark-haired woman with eyes and skin almost black in color. She had been a Tok'ra as well, her host had been called Ilaina. "How could I ever forget Zamat?" Jolinar whispered. Sam felt guilt and regret wash over her.

"So at least you do not forget the people you kill."

"I did not kill her," Jolinar shouted, but Sam could tell that this wasn't the whole truth and that Jolinar did feel responsible for the woman's death, even if not directly.

Her opponent raised the ribbon device again, hate and the pain of loss clearly visible on his face. "You left her to die at the hands of Ra. You might as well have killed her."

"I tried to save her."

Sam knew what had happened now. Jolinar, blended with Rosha at that time, had been on a mission with Zamat and Ilaina. It had started out as a fairly routine mission, the objective being to find out how much naquadah was being mined on one of Ra's planets.

Then everything had gone to hell as Ra himself had shown up and noticed them. Jolinar could flee from his troops in a glider, but Zamat and Ilaina didn't make it. Jolinar had brought the sad news of the loss of two more Tok'ra back to the base. It was a sad story that now affected even Sam, as she thought of the memory.

"You only tried to save yourself. You never cared about her life."

Realization dawned in Jolinar. "She was your mate, wasn't she?" she whispered. She had never made that connection, but now it seemed so obvious. She had seen him grief for her for months. He had also been the only one who had expressed anger towards her after she had returned for saving herself instead of going back and had advocated in favor of a rescue mission for Zamat.

Talkar didn't answer that question. "You left her to die," he repeated.

"So you gave Cronus my position so he could send the Ashrak after me. Or maybe you even sent it yourself. I am sorry for your loss, I really am, but you are taking this several steps too far. Killing me will not bring her back. And killing my host would be killing someone completely uninvolved in this."

Sam was starting to panic while Jolinar was trying to stall Talkar. He had sent the assassin and he would kill both of them in cold blood soon. He didn't seem to be one for torture and drawn-out deaths, Sam concluded from the fact that he wouldn't have witnessed Jolinar's death by the Ashrak's hands. Talkar would be completely satisfied knowing that Jolinar was dead. And with her, Sam.

"Oh, I know it won't bring her back. I am not stupid."

There was still a weapon next to her. Jolinar lowered her head a bit to determine where exactly it was, hoping that Talkar wouldn't notice it. It was only just out of reach of her right arm.

"I am also not interested in punishing you. Your death will be quick and..."

Jolinar rolled to her right, picking up the weapon in the process. Talkar was not slow either, and hit her with the ribbon device before she could take aim. But he hadn't aimed well and didn't fully hit her. Her left side was flung back, but her right was unaffected.

She raised her arm and fired the zat weapon. Talkar jumped out of the way and the blue bolt missed him. He raised his hand, about to hit Jolinar and Sam again when Jolinar fired the zat gun again and hit him.

Talkar fell the the ground, his body shaking from the electricity running through his body. Jolinar squeezed the weapon tighter, preparing to fire at him a second time.

> _ Don't._
> 
> *Why not?*
> 
> _We can't kill him, he's a Tok'ra._
> 
> *I think he has proven that he is not.*
> 
> _He is just grieving. He isn't evil._
> 
> *And what do you suggest we do with him?*

  
Talkar was still on the floor, but the effects of the weapon were already starting to wear off.

> _ There must be another way._

  
Sam could tell Jolinar was getting annoyed with her, but there was not enough time for an argument.

> *If we let him live we will have to flee the ship before someone finds him.*

  
But Sam could tell that she had won this argument. Jolinar was already looking around and within a few seconds, she had decided on a course of action and took the ribbon device from Talkar's hand.

> *I do not particularly enjoy doing this.*

  
Jolinar let the ribbon device slide on her left hand and pointed it at Talkar's forehead.

> _ What are you doing?_
> 
> *This will make him unconscious, at least for a longer while than the zat'ni'ka'tel will.*

  
Talkar was looking at her now, unable to move but apparently aware of what she was doing, as his eyes were wide with fear.

"I am not going to kill you. And if you keep quiet, maybe the Council will even decide in your favor," Jolinar said and activated the device. Talkar looked as though he was about to say something, but then his eyes rolled backwards and his body went limp.

> *I know that I am going to regret this. He will only tell the Goa'uld more about the Tok'ra.*
> 
> _Or maybe he will realize that what he tried to do was wrong._

  
Jolinar didn't answer, instead trying her best to hide the unconscious body of Talkar in his quarters. Finally, she bound his hands together behind his back with a light blanket, shoved his body under the bed and placed a few cushions so that he wouldn't be seen from the door should someone enter. It was the best they could do under the circumstances.

> _ And now?_

  
Jolinar was already half-way to the door. She stopped.

> *Now we need to get off this ship as soon as possible before someone finds him*

  
Jolinar stepped out of the door and shot the door control twice. It would now be a problem to open the door from either side.

Sam agreed with Jolinar's assessment, and Jolinar gave her the option as to who would be in control. While Jolinar knew the way better than Sam, Sam also had access to the information now and preferred to have control over her own body. She started to walk firmly in the direction of the glider bay, but not as though she was in a hurry, hoping that they wouldn't encounter any Goa'uld on their way. She had not much more than a couple of minutes before Talkar would wake up and not much time afterwards before he would raise an alarm.

Jolinar and Sam were lucky and encountered only two human servants until they were almost there and so the goal of the glider bay was getting closer. Then, of course, her luck ran out. Turning a corner directly before the bay, she ran directly into a Goa'uld and his Jaffa escort.

"Please excuse me," Sam instinctively tried pretending to be one of the human servants, only a second too late realizing that likely wasn't the best way.

"Watch where you are going," the Goa'uld said harshly and started to walk away, but then hesitated. He must have sensed that she was carrying a symbiote.

She started to run before any of the Jaffa realized what was going on. Behind her, she could already hear the Goa'uld shouting at his Jaffa to go after her. Jolinar didn't comment at all, trying not to distract Sam.

It wasn't far now and she ran as fast as she could and arrived at her destination barely one minute later. There were two Jaffa guarding the door to the glider bay, but the door was also standing wide open and Jolinar took the Jaffa out with her zat gun before either of them could even realize what was going on.

The Jaffa behind Sam were already firing their staff weapons towards her. They missed by a lot, but she would soon have to slow down to enter the cargo ship and then they would have a chance to aim at her before they fired.

Thankfully there were three cargo ships standing in the bay, and to Sam's surprise one of them had its doors open. Maybe something had been transported into the mothership by it and it had to be unloaded, but there wasn't much time to think about such matters. She ran through the doors of the cargo ship and hit the button to close the doors behind her hard. Out of the corner of her eyes, she could see the Jaffa coming towards her, but she was already on her way towards the controls of the ship. Behind her, a staff weapon blast hit the doors of the cargo ship.

Sam didn't have any experience with a ship such as this and so Jolinar took over for her without any hesitation. For a painfully long second, the cargo ship did not respond to her commands and she was almost ready to jump out of her seat to run into the engine room when the ship finally raised from the ground.

More staff weapon blasts hit the small ship. Jolinar enabled the ship's shield, but even so they had to be quick. There were enough gliders for a small army in the bay.

The mother ha'tak's glider doors were remote-controlled and Sam was immensely relieved when they opened for them. Obviously, there had not yet been a ship-wide alarm, or those functions would have been blocked.

Jolinar accelerated the tel'tak as fast as she could, squeezing through the opening with not much space to both sides. There were a lot of gliders on board of this ship. Not a lot of Jaffa, but enough to follow and eliminate one small cargo ship.

And they were following the cargo ship. Jolinar flew out into space. Soon afterward there were the first blasts of the glider weapons flying through the empty void around the ship. One of them hit the tel'tak, causing it to shake. So far, the shields were doing their job and no damage was done.

Jolinar was a good pilot, Sam had to admit that. Still, these cargo ships weren't designed for speed and also not to be flown by only one person. If anything happened, she would have to fix it manually and for that she would have to leave the cockpit.

> *We are going to enter hyperspace now. This might get rough.*

  
The ship was at maximum speed and already buckling like crazy. On the screen Sam could see that there were four gliders following her.

> _ How will entering hyperspace accomplish anything?_
> 
> *Gliders cannot open a window themselves. They will try to follow us, but... You will see.*

  
It didn't sound like Jolinar was actually sure what she was doing, but Sam trusted her enough to not say anything. There were, after all, no alternative plans in sight and little time to think of something else.

Jolinar pushed a few buttons and the ship entered hyperspace with a jump. And then it directly exited hyperspace again.

> _ Is something wr..._

  
Sam didn't get to finish the sentence, as Jolinar led the ship into a narrow curve and then directly jumped into hyperspace again. Her body was pushed against the seat.

> _ What the hell are you doing?_
> 
> *Getting rid of the gliders.*

  
They dropped out of hyperspace again, and she was jerked forward. Two gliders had managed to follow them despite Jolinar's efforts at shaking them off. Jolinar repeated the maneuver one more time.

> *Unfortunately, we are running out of energy.*

  
Sam didn't know what to say. They were in the middle of nowhere in open space now and Jolinar was telling her that they were running out of fuel.

> _ Can we still..._
> 
> *Damn.*

  
Before Sam could ask what else was wrong, she saw it. One of the gliders was still following them, apparently manned by a very skilled pilot who matched Jolinar's skills. Jolinar was busy with simultaneously evading his weapon fire and finding out where in space they were.

> *There is still energy enough to get to the nearest planet – it is not very far.*
> 
> _Good._

  
Soon the planet that Jolinar had found showed up on their short-range sensors. So far, the glider hadn't been able to cause any substantial damage and they could only hope that it stayed that way. Although this region of space was not completely empty of human and Goa'uld settlements, Jolinar could not tell whether it had a Stargate.

Finally, they could see the small planet, which at least looked like it was able to sustain life.

> *We need to land.*
> 
> _He will shoot us down if we try to land._
> 
> *Not if we evade his weapons until we are flying very low and then use the ring transporters to get on the ground.*

  
It only took Sam a second this time to draw from Jolinar's memories. If there was no ring platform nearby, the rings just went straight down out of the ship and would be able to get them to the ground.

> _ Are you mad? Even if that works we still don't know whether there even is a Stargate on this planet._
> 
> *I am scanning for that now.*

  
Sam could tell Jolinar was growing impatient. The stress of simultaneously thinking of a plan, evading the glider's fire and arguing with Sam were getting to her.

There was a Stargate on the planet as Jolinar soon found out, but no ring platforms. She flew lower, evading the glider's weapons as well as she could. They would have to get down via ring transporters without a platform.

The ship was taking hits now and each one of them made the shields weaker and the ship more unstable. Jolinar was having trouble controlling it, keeping it steady. It would not get them much further.

Then, as she had steadied the ship rather low on the ground, Jolinar pulled it upwards again, hoping to confuse the glider pilot into thinking they were actually leaving the planet by ship again. Jolinar jumped out of the chair and ran to the ring transporter room, hitting the button to activate the rings as she passed by the door. The rings came down and encompassed Sam and Jolinar. Sam could feel the ship sinking with no one stabilizing it. She could only hope it wouldn't hit the ground anywhere near her.

The rings transported her to the ground beneath the ship. Jolinar reacted fast, running away from the ship, which was tumbling towards the ground. The glider was still firing at it, not having noticed Jolinar's maneuver so far. Still, one of the blasts hit the ground close to her. Jolinar tried to run even faster.

> _ How far is the gate?_
> 
> *Behind that hill.*

  
The hill was rather steep and the ground was stony. Jolinar struggled upwards, stumbling as she hit a rock with her foot. Sam could feel the pain emanating from her toes. A loud explosion made her stumble even further – the cargo ship had crashed to the ground. There was no time to look back, so Jolinar resumed climbing.

She could hear the sound of a glider landing behind her. That Jaffa was determined enough to get her to land and try to catch her on ground. Sam was sure that he would be highly rewarded if he could capture her, but she still wasn't going to let that happen. With only a zat gun as a means to defend herself, she could only hope to outrun the Jaffa, open the Stargate and dial out to the Tok'ra base before he could follow her.

Sam pushed her body as much as she could, running over the stony ground. Looking over her shoulder in a hurry she saw that the Jaffa had now left the glider and was following her, staff weapon in his hand.

The Stargate was in sight now, but the Jaffa was now also firing his weapon. At this distance he couldn't really hit her, but dialing the gate would take time and leave her plain in sight for him to aim at her. Sam briefly contemplated trying to hide instead, but aside from the fact that there wasn't much to hide behind on this planet, Talkar was surely awake by now and the Jaffa would have informed the mothership of their position. Soon this planet would be swarming with Jaffa.

She reached the DHD and started dialing the first coordinates that came to mind. No place to hide, she dialed as fast as could, trying to ignore the blasts missing her by only inches now. The Stargate spun as Sam finished dialing. She ducked behind the DHD, blindly firing her zat in the Jaffa's direction.

The staff weapon fire ceased for a few moments, but Sam did not assume she had hit the Jaffa. By now, the wormhole exploded into existence.

It wasn't a long way from the DHD to the gate and Sam ran it backwards, both firing at the Jaffa and ducking away from his weapon fire at the same time. Shortly before she arrived at the event horizon, one of the blasts came directly at her. Sam turned and jumped through the open wormhole.


	5. Co-evolution

Sam hit the ground hard when arriving on the other side. Years of military training made her roll into a ball instinctively when she hit the ground. The wormhole closed behind her, but there was an explosion she could not see but that sounded like it was very close to her. The Jaffa had fired one last staff weapon blast at her before the Stargate had disengaged.

Getting up, the right shoulder that she had landed on hurt a lot and Sam wondered whether she had dislocated it. Moving it around a bit, she dismissed that possibility and started to pay more attention to her surroundings. She was on a clearing in a thick forest and the DHD was very close to the gate. Sam hurried to the DHD and recalled the coordinates she had learned from Ovlek. She dialed as fast as she could, hoping that even if they were trying to follow her and had seen the address she had dialed, she would be faster. She punched in the last symbol and breathed a sigh of relief as the wormhole established – she had been faster.

The planet on the other side of the wormhole was just like the last planet the Tok'ra had set up their base, a desert planet with sand dunes. Sam knew that the base would not be far from the Stargate. Well, actually, Jolinar knew that, but it was also Sam's knowledge now, the Tok'ra preferred to keep close to the Stargate in order to monitor who was arriving at their planet and also to make for a quicker escape as they did not have many ships.

Sam laid down her gun in the sand and wandered a bit further away from the gate. Nothing happened, which wasn't too surprising as very few Tok'ra knew her face now. She decided to make her intentions known.

"This is Jolinar of Malkshur and I need to speak to the Tok'ra," she shouted to the empty place, and it felt weird to say that she was Jolinar. Still, this time, someone might recognize her. Her words seemed to get the point across, as very soon afterwards she was surrounded by three people pointing zat guns at her. The one right in front of her was a woman and Jolinar took over to address her.

"I need to talk to the High Council immediately," Jolinar said, not caring about proper etiquette.

She recognized the other Tok'ra in front of her – her name was Anise. The other Tok'ra shook her head. "I'm afraid that's impossible right-"

"Then make it possible, Anise."

"Can you tell me what this is about?" Anise asked, not backing down yet. Sam knew through her bond with Jolinar that there had been conflict between Jolinar and Anise before. They were both very strong-minded individuals and when they clashed, they really clashed.

Jolinar raised an eyebrow and looked even angrier. "No, I can not. I will only speak to the Council and I will do so immediately. Tell them not to inform Cordesh. And no, I will not elaborate on that."

The female Tok'ra visibly submitted to Jolinar's wishes at this point- – her whole posture changed from upright and strong to submissive. Sam wondered whether this was the Goa'uld or human in her, but when she spoke, it was with the voice of her host, Freya. "I will do what I can, Jolinar of Malkshur."

Jolinar nodded in recognition and accompanied Freya to the rings that brought them down into the base, which looked exactly like the last base had. Freya then gestured or her to stay where she was and went deeper down into the tunnels.

Martouf appeared only a few minutes later, his heavy breathing giving away that he had run the way from his quarters to the ring transporters.

"Jolinar, Sam, you are alive," he said, breathless.

"Yes, we are. And the mission was a success," Jolinar replied. Sam thought the greeting was rather cold on both side and wondered whether Martouf was still angry at Jolinar and Sam for their decision.

Martouf smiled weakly. "Really? That is good news indeed. What did you find out?"

But Jolinar only shook her head. "I am sorry, I can't tell you now. I really need to discuss this information with the Council. And quickly"

Martouf nodded. He obviously knew that this could only mean that they had found information about a spy among the Tok'ra or something equally worse. He looked around and when he saw that they were still alone he said "I am so glad you returned."

"As am I," Jolinar answered and Sam experienced once again the joy Jolinar felt at seeing Martouf – only this time even stronger, as Jolinar had stopped building barriers between herself and Sam. It was an overwhelming feeling and she knew that Jolinar would have leaped into Martouf's arms had they not been interrupted by Freya's return.

"The Council will be ready to see you in just a few more minutes."

"Good."

Anise stood in front of her, likely waiting for a word of gratitude or an explanation as to what Jolinar had experienced, but Jolinar just looked at her and Anise turned to leave after a few more moments.

Martouf lowered his head, his symbiote taking over with a flash in his yes. "You still do not like Anise, I see," he said, his amusement clear in his voice.

"I like Freya," Jolinar stated as a reply. "Anise is too... wearisome for me."

Lantash grinned. "In any case, it is very good to see you two. We were very worried for the time you were gone and afraid we would never see you again."

Jolinar was getting overwhelmed with feelings and could not look him in the eyes any longer. "As was I. There were some very close situations."

The conversation was cut short by the arrival of Delek, a member of the Tok'ra High Council. He looked stressed and rushed, but greeted them enthusiastically nonetheless. "Greetings, Jolinar and Samantha, it is good to see you again."

"Likewise, Delek," Jolinar replied. "Is the Council ready to meet with me yet?"

He nodded and extended his arm to show in which direction they needed to go. "They are eager to hear what you have to say."

*

Jolinar finished her story and handed over the crystal she had brought with her. Garshaw raised her hand to her head and rubbed her temples as though she was suffering from a headache. "Thank you for this information. I must say, these news really come at one of the most unfortunate times."

Jolinar had tried to keep it short, but Sam could still feel that her mouth was dry from all the talking. There had been very occasional questions, but most of the time it had been just Jolinar speaking. The Council members reacted visibly shaken to the exposure of the two spies, especially when Jolinar mentioned Cordesh.

Per'sus nodded in agreement with Garshaw. He was the leader of the Tok'ra High Council, who Sam had not met previously. "There is much for us to do now, and none of it will be easy. We thank you for bringing this information back to us, Jolinar and Samantha."

"What else has happened since I went away?" Jolinar asked surprised at this comment.

Delek sighed and looked at Per'sus as if to get permission to tell something. When Per'sus nodded, he answered, "Unfortunately, one of the eldest Tok'ra is dying and we have so far been unable to find a new host."

Jolinar immediately made the connection between that news and one of the missing Council members. "Selmak?" Jolinar asked for confirmation and Delek nodded.

> *Delek and Selmak are very close friends.*

  
Sam realized that this must be why the man was looking so worn-out.

"That is indeed sad news," Jolinar said. Sam felt that Jolinar had a lot of respect for the one called Selmak, but also for Selmak's host.

"Right now we can barely risk losing any of the Tok'ra, much less one of our oldest," Per'sus explained. "Even having to arrest Cordesh will be a very hard loss for us. Nevertheless it needs to be done sooner rather than later."

"There is still hope for Selmak," Thoran spoke up. He had been completely quiet during the rest of the meeting. "If we can find a host within the next few days it might not be too late yet."

"I take it that you have so far also been unable to find a new host for me?" Jolinar stated more than asked.

Per'sus nodded. "I am very sorry, but many died during the Goa'uld attack and the relocation also took some time. Then Saroosh's condition got worse and thus our efforts have focused on finding someone for Selmak. After all, we were under the impression that you might be dead."

Sam saw his point and if she was honest, the thought that Jolinar was not going to be with her forever hadn't crossed her mind in a while now. The issue also didn't feel too urgent for her at the moment.

"What are your plans now?" Garshaw asked.

Sam wasn't really sure. The last days, she had been so focused on her self-chosen mission that no other goal had been important. Maybe it would be best to return to Earth while the Tok'ra sorted out their own problems and relocated to yet another base before another attack occurred.

> *That is completely up to you, Samantha. After all the excitement, maybe you want to have some downtime?*

  
Jolinar gave control back to Sam. "I think I would like to return to Earth for a while. If that is possible?"

Per'sus smiled faintly. "After everything you have done for us, Samantha Carter, I am sure no one will raise any objections to whatever you plan to do right now. If you return to Earth, however, we would ask you to tell your representatives that the Tok'ra have been very occupied with their own problems in the last weeks. However, we do think that especially in the light of recent developments I think I speak for everyone when I say that," he looked around at the other Council members, seemingly waiting for an objection that didn't come, "we think that a Tok'ra-Earth alliance would be a desirable development."

Sam was surprised by this.

> *I think that was a compliment to you, Samantha.*
> 
> _ Yeah, that's why I am so surprised. _

  
Jolinar laughed and Sam had to smile. "Thank you, I will certainly tell them."

"We are going to be dealing with Cordesh and Talkar very soon and will then relocate to another planet," Garshaw said. "I will inform you of our new coordinates before you leave and we can be found there in less than two days if everything if nothing unforeseeable happens. Unfortunately, it will be difficult to move Selmak in her current state, but there is no alternative since our position has been compromised yet again."

"However, we can hope that this is now a thing of the past, at least for a while," Thoran added optimistically.

The meeting over, once Sam got the coordinates from Garshaw, she walked to the gate alone, anticipating her reunion with SG-1.

* * *

Sam stepped through the gate expecting to be welcomed by soldiers pointing weapons at her, but instead she was greeted by General Hammond himself, who told her to come with him to his office with him immediately.

> _ This doesn't sound good._
> 
> *Indeed, he did look rather worried.*

  
She closed the door behind herself and as he motioned to the seat opposite him, she sat down in the heavy chair, fully expecting to be asked to give a full report on what she had been doing the last days and why she hadn't informed Stargate Command about it.

But then she looked into the General's eyes and was surprised to see concern and... sympathy. Her heart seemed to stop for a second. No member of SG-1 had been there to welcome her – maybe something had happened to them.

"What is it, sir? Has something happened?" she asked, knowing that her concern was clearly audible to the General.

"I'm afraid something has indeed happened, Captain." Sam had never seen him look so concerned at her.

She felt fear rising inside of her. "Something with SG-1, sir?"

"No, they are all well, but on a mission right now. The Cimmerians have called for our help. No, the bad news is about your father."

Sam was so taken aback by this that she forgot to ask what had happened on Cimmeria. "My father?"

The General nodded. "He' in hospital now, and I'm afraid it's not looking good for him."

Sam stared at him. "Was there an accident?"

"No," General Hammond replied. He sighed. "I'm afraid that your father has recently been diagnosed with cancer, and it's progressing quite rapidly."

Sam felt empty--like she was standing beside herself, only watching the scene. It was like when Jolinar was using her body, but yet, not. She recognized this feeling. She had experienced it before when she had been told about her mother's accident. She remembered the complete lack of control over her emotions, her words, and how long it had taken to feel back in control again.

"How long... I mean, what's his diagnosis?"

He looked at her as though he was really fighting the urge to comfort her right now. "I'm not sure, Captain. But it's not looking good. Maybe you should go and see him, see how he is. I don't think it's really urgent right now, but... you might want to see him."

"Yes, I suppose I should...", she trailed off. This was too much. Sam felt that Jolinar felt it with her and that she was sorry for what they had just heard.

> *Words cannot express how sorry I am, Samantha.*

  
A bit of warmth spread to Sam's body, as Jolinar tried to comfort her, and then Jolinar took over control. Sam didn't mind that at all.

"My host is very shaken by this news," Jolinar said.

General Hammond raised an eyebrow at the switch in who he was talking to. "I understand, and I am very sorry to have to bring the news to Captain Carter, especially in a time like this."

Yes, Sam though. It really was all adding up on top of each other. This was getting too much for one person to handle.

"The reason we came here is because the Tok'ra have decided that they indeed want to form an official alliance with Earth. However, they are in desperate need for a new host for one of their oldest and wisest, a symbiote named Selmak. While they did not say it out loud, it is my impression that finding a willing host for a Tok'ra might be able to seal this alliance."

Sam was once again a bit annoyed by the subtleties of the Tok'ra, but at least she had Jolinar to help her with that. She hadn't even thought that they might expect of her to find a new host for Selmak.

Then she had an idea and immediately felt a bit stupid for not having had it before.

> _ Can my dad be healed by a Tok'ra?_

  
"I see," the General answered, unaware of Sam's inner conversation and obviously not too happy about the Tok'ra's need for a human host.

> *I am pretty sure he could. Do you think this is a wise idea, Samantha?*
> 
> _ I think it can't hurt to try._

  
Jolinar gave up control over Sam's body. Sam pulled herself together enough so she could speak clearly. "General, I'd like to offer my dad to be Selmak's new host."

He looked at her in surprise. "You want to do what?"

"A Tok'ra symbiote could heal him."

"Captain, don't you think this is a bit... rushed? Maybe you should take some time to think about this first, talk to him...," he trailed off.

Sam shook her head. "General, you know my father well. He will want to fight. He will want to live. The least we can do is to give him an option, a way out."

General Hammond shrugged. "It isn't quite that easy. There are security risks that have to be considered."

Sam was getting a bit louder. Not loud, but more forceful. "We are talking about my father's life here. You yourself said that it isn't looking good, didn't you?"

He nodded. "Yes, I did."

"We are in a position to be able to actually give him a chance here. How could I deny him that?"

"Captain, are you sure you want to do this?"

Sam wasn't, but she wouldn't admit that to him."Yes, I am. I need to try to save him."

The General nodded in defeat. "I understand you feels, and I will see what I can do for you. Let me talk to my superiors to get Jacob clearance and you the allowance to leave the base and then we'll get someone to drive you to the hospital."

> *Do you think your father will agree to the blending?*
> 
> _ He doesn't have a lot of options, does he? All we can really do is ask._

  
"Thank you, sir. Has the NID come to a conclusion about me yet, by the way?"

"Not completely, no. But it seems like they are getting used to the idea. Also, we just won't tell them that you are going outside the base."

Had the situation not been so dire, Sam might have smiled.

* * *

Sam stood in front of the hospital room less than an hour afterwards. The President himself had given General Hammond the okay for informing Sam's father about everything involved in the Stargate program so he could make an informed decision. But now it was on her to explain the options to him.

She took one last breath and knocked on the door of the hospital room. When she heard a quiet "Come in" though the door, she pushed against it and stepped in.

"Dad?"

She didn't see him at first, but when she did, it almost broke her heart. Sam fought against the feelings that were trying to well up inside of her. He was lying in the hospital bed, hooked up to machines that were there to alarm the doctors is his heart stopped again. His skin was whiter than usually, and there were rings under his eyes. Sam didn't see much of her father these days, but she knew that the last time she had seen him he had looked so much healthier than this.

> *I am so sorry, Samantha.*

  
"Sam, you made it," she was greeted. Jacob sat up a little in his bed, but was interrupted by a coughing fit.

Sam waited until the fit settled down before asking him. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," her father replied and Sam raised an eyebrow.

"Dad, don't lie to me. You aren't fine." She sat down on the chair next to his bed.

He didn't respond to this. "I tried contacting you a few days ago. They only told me you were on a mission and they couldn't reach you. I wanted to talk to you about some things."

"Like your cancer?"

Jacob shook his head, but then nodded. "Well, that, too. But I also had good news for you. And I wanted to see your face when I told you."

"What good news?" Sam asked, confused.

"I talked to some people, Sam. I know that you have always dreamed of working for NASA, of being an astronaut some day. I made a call to Bollinger himself, the head of NASA."

"Dad, I..."

But Jacob interrupted her. "I told him that you'd wanted become astronaut since you were a little girl, and that you'd given up..."

"I never gave up."

"Let me finish, Sam. I told him that you gave up waiting for the Shuttle program to be reinstated after the Challenger disaster . And he agreed to be supportive of your application when you apply. You could actually be going into space."

Sam didn't know what to say. She knew by the look on his face how excited he was. Any negative response would just make him defensive and crush the tenuous good mood he now had.

"We need to talk about something," Sam said, realizing it wasn't the best opening there was.

His face froze. "Aren't you happy about NASA? I thought it was your dream."

"It was. But I need to tell you something. Something about my work." Sam was still unsure about how to tell him – she had never had to tell anyone about the Stargate project who was even remotely close to her.

Jacob coughed. "About your work? I thought I didn't have the security clearance to be told about your radar analysis."

Sam smiled weakly at his skeptic tone. "You have been granted security clearance, dad. I have been allowed to tell you what we do in Cayenne Mountain."

"Why?"

"Because we need your help."

Jacob raised an eyebrow in disbelief, but didn't say anything. He looked relaxed again, not as tense as he had when Sam hadn't reacted positively to his offer.

> *Maybe you should start at the beginning.*

  
Sam nodded, only a few seconds later realizing that Jolinar could not see her and that it probably looked strange from the outside. But her dad either didn't see it or decided not to comment on it. She took a deep breath.

"In 1928, an archeology expedition to Egypt found a device near Giza. It was a big metal ring and they didn't know what to do with it, but it was brought to America for further study. It took dozens of scientists decades to figure out how it works, but in 1994, it was finally used by a team led by Colonel O'Neill. We now call that device the Stargate and we can use it to transport humans to other planets. Dad, I am not going to apply to the NASA program because not only am I going into space already, but I am actually visiting other planets."

There was silence for a while. Finally, Jacob responded. "You are kidding, right?"

Sam shook her head. "No, Dad, I am not joking. The Stargate is a device created by aliens that can create a wormhole between two of these gates and thus transport all matter to a place hundreds of light years away."

"And you... actually travel to other planets?"

"Yes. I am on a team called SG-1 that is led by Colonel O'Neill and we travel to other planets on a regular basis." Sam hoped this information wasn't too much for her father to take in all at once, especially as she had so much more to tell him still.

"Wow, this is... a bit overwhelming. There I was thinking that I could do my girl good by getting her a place into NASA and you are doing something so much greater and better."

Sam smiled. "It is an amazing job. There is so much to see and to learn out there. What we can learn from other cultures is..."

Jacob interrupted her. "Other cultures? So there actually is life out there?"

"Yes. There are hundreds, if not thousands of plants inhabited by humans out there."

"How did they get there? Through that... Stargate?"

Sam nodded. "It's a bit of a long story. To cut it short, they were taken through the Stargate from Earth by a race called the Goa'uld. They are a hostile parasitic race that takes over human bodies and usually poses as Gods, enslaving humans or using them as hosts for their offspring."

Jacob frowned. "Holy Hannah, that sounds like you met the bad guys. Do you encounter many of them?"

"We have encountered several, and we are at war with them. At the first mission, one of their most powerful leaders, Ra, was killed. And we recently defended ourselves against Apophis, who is also one of their highest rulers."

"Wow... that's just... wow. Is this what you were going to get the medal for?"

Sam nodded, feeling herself blush a little. She was still very proud of SG-1 for that mission. And of herself.

"I think I need some time to let that sink in," Jacob said. He started coughing violently again, and Sam had to wait for him to finish.

Sam sighed. "And I'd love to give you that, really. You have no idea how much it means to me to be able to tell you all this. Unfortunately, time is an issue right now."

"Okay, you said you needed my help. What could an old, dying General possibly do to help you?"

Sam laid her hand over one of his and squeezed it. "I want you to come with me - to another planet."

"Why? So I can die there?"

Sam shook her head. "No. Actually, what I'm hoping we want you to do will cure your cancer."

That made him sit up a bit straighter. "They have a cure there? What's the catch?"

She almost laughed at the familiar distrust of good news. "There is one, a big one, I won't lie to you on that. And I want you to make an informed decision on this one, so I'll try to explain. There's a group of beings that are like the Goa'uld, physiologically. But they oppose them and fight against them because they think enslaving humans is wrong. They are called the Tok'ra and they only take hosts who want to have them as symbiotes. One of the hosts is dying and the symbiote needs a new host to survive."

"And you figured I could be that... host?" Jacob said skeptical.

"Symbiotes possess enormous healing powers and can apparently heal cancer in humans. This could be your chance to defeat this."

Jacob folded his arms across his chest. "So the catch is that I would be a host to this symbiote thing?"

"Yes, exactly. You would share your body and you would probably need to live off-world a lot of the time, since Selmak is one of the leaders of the Tok'ra."

"But you are certain that this Selmak could heal me?"

Sam hesitated only a moment. "Almost certain, yes."

"So then my chances of survival would be about 99% better than they are right now, wouldn't they?"

Sam nodded.

"And you are also certain that these Tok'ra are trustworthy? I mean, I don't want to end up as a – what's it called again, a Goa'uld?"

Sam thought about whether she should not mention Jolinar. She didn't want to make her father uncomfortable, but the way it looked so far, he seemed pretty open to the idea of joining the Tok'ra. So maybe it was a good idea to show him why she knew that they were trustworthy.

> _ Could you talk to him for a bit? Telling him a bit about your side of the story?_
> 
> *I would be honored to do that.*
> 
> _ Good. Then I'll just tell him my side._

  
Sam's father looked at her questioningly at the long pause, but he didn't say anything.

"I know this is already a lot of input for you and I promise you will have a bit more time to think about this. But to answer your question, I know that the Tok'ra deserve our trust because I carry one of them inside of me."

Jacob stared at her for a few moments. "You... are actually... one of those Tok'ra?"

Sam took a deep breath before answering. "Yes, dad. There's a Tok'ra inside of me. Would you like to speak to her?"

"Wait a minute. Does George know about this?"

Sam nodded. "He does."

"And he still let you go?" He looked surprised at this and Sam knew why. She was still viewed as a security risk, for obvious reasons.

"Well, there are people who aren't happy about this, I won't lie to you," she replied. "There's a guard at the door for a reason. General Hammond allowed me to come here, but there will also be someone else coming by as soon as I am done. Apart from having to fill out the paperwork, he will also be able to answer any questions you might have. They just wanted me to be here first." Sam understood the General's decision. She was biased in favor of the Tok'ra, there was no doubt about that. How could she not be?

"Sam, if you don't mind, could I call George? Just to check?"

Sam tried not to be disappointed by this request and nodded. "Sure. Here, let me write down his number in the SGC for you." She grabbed a piece of paper and a pen from her father's nightstand. She could understand him – the military trained you to not trust everything you are told. Maybe he was wondering if she had been compromised.

"I'll be back in a few," she said, standing up. Sam left the room and stood outside with the guard for what seemed like a long time, but was actually under 5 minutes. Then she knocked on the door and entered the hospital room. She sat down again. "Everything alright?"

He nodded and there was a small pause, after which Sam asked her father again. "So, do you want to talk to her?"

He hesitated a bit, but curiosity finally won. "I guess so, yes."

Sam lowered her head and allowed Jolinar to take over her body. She noticed that Jolinar suppressed the way her eyes usually glowed when she took over, probably not to frighten Sam's father.

"Greeting, Jacob Carter. My name is Jolinar of Malkshur." Jolinar didn't suppress the altered voice and Sam saw her father jump a bit at the sound of it.

"Hello," he answered, "nice to meet you, I guess. It's a bit weird to hear my daughter talk like that, I admit. Do you guys always talk like that?"

"Usually, yes. But I can also talk with your daughter's normal voice," Jolinar answered, switching the voice she used mid-sentence.

"So you're sharing my daughter's body with her, if I understand correctly?"

Jolinar nodded. "That is correct. Our minds, as you would call it exist independently of each other, but we now share this body."

Suddenly, Jacob looked worried. "Was Sam sick? Is that why she's now a host to one of your kind?"

Sam hadn't anticipated that reaction, but she had to admit it was a perfectly logical conclusion from what her father had learned so far.

"No, Samantha did not choose to be blended with me because she needed my healing capacities. In fact, our joining was more of an accident. I think she would like to tell you that story another time. But I have very much enjoyed the time I have spent with her so far, you have raised a wonderful daughter."

Without wanting to, Sam was a little embarrassed by that statement. Her father, however, looked very proud at the compliment.

"Thank you," he said.

Jolinar smiled at him. "Do you have any questions I can answer for you? I'd be very happy to help in any way I can."

"I am a bit overwhelmed right now. But.... do you know this Selmak? Is he a friendly guy, or Tok'ra? I don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone I don't like." Jacob laughed.

Had Sam been in control of her body she would have laughed with him.

"To be honest, I do not know Selmak and his current host Saroosh very well, but from the few conversations I have had with them, they both seemed very friendly and nice. And funny."

"Well, funny is good."

Sam knew her father liked to laugh. She remembered him being quite a funny person before her mother's death. After that, it had taken years before she had seen him laugh again.

"I am sure you will have the opportunity to meet them and talk to them before you make your final choice."

Jacob nodded. "So, this switching thing – who gets control over the body?" He changed the topic.

"Since the relationship is symbiotic in nature, both parties usually agree who gets to be in control and speak at a given time."

Sam's father looked like he was thinking about this answer for a moment and Sam wondered whether he would ask what happened if they couldn't decide – the ugly truth of which was that ultimately, the symbiote could overrule the original owner of the body. But in the end he just said "Okay" and was silent again.

"Is there anything else I may assist you with?" Jolinar asked.

He nodded, then shook his head, his face clearly showing his confusion. "I honestly can't think of anything right now. It's just so much... Can I talk to Sam again?"

Jolinar quickly handed over control. "I'm here, dad," Sam said.

"You said time is an issue. How long do I have to decide?"

"The Tok'ra need some time for preparations," Sam answered, not mentioning what was really going on there right now. "They will be all set up in a day or two. If you agree to the blending we will send someone to tell them of your decision."

"Good. Good..." He was silent again, until the question burst out of him. "Are you happy, honey?"

Sam was taken aback by that question and pondered it for a moment. No, this was not what she had planned for her life and she was still not totally used to the other consciousness in her body, although Jolinar was beginning to feel like a normal part of her body. But in essence, everything that had happened had been a lot to take in and until now, she hadn't really thought about whether she was happy with the way things were. There had just not been enough time.

In the end, she shrugged. "I don't know, dad. But I think I will be. And I also think that knowing that you won't die in this bed surrounded by machines, knowing that you have a chance to live for much longer, would make me a lot happier." Tears welled up in her eyes and she didn't know how long she would be able to fight them back for. And maybe she didn't want to fight them anymore. "I don't want to pressure you, but I just can't stand to watch you die like this." Tears started to stream down her face.

Her father looked taken aback by this display of emotion, but he opened his arms and Sam almost flung herself into his tight embrace. She hadn't had her father comfort her in a long time and letting herself be comforted by him like this brought back memories of times, long forgotten, of when she had been younger and her father had been less distant.

"I want to fight, Sam. I want to take that chance, if it's the last thing I will do."

* * *

One day later the SGC had sent a team to the Tok'ra to tell them of Sam's plan and they had agreed to it. They were almost done setting up their new base and ready to introduce Sam's father and Selmak.

SG-1 had not yet returned and so Sam had spent most of the day alternating between resting and talking to her father. Now Sam was accompanying her father deep down into Cheyenne Mountain to go through the Stargate. He was sitting in a wheelchair, but he had received enough drugs to make him feel better for a few hours. Sam hoped that would be enough.

They waited until the elevator arrived at its destination in silence. Her father hadn't spoken much since he had made his decision and Sam knew when not to bother him about something. He became withdrawn in the face of situations that evoked a lot of emotion in other people – it wasn't that he wasn't affected, but that he made it up with himself, not sharing it with the world.

> *How are you feeling, Samantha?*
> 
> _ Aren't you able to tell that?_
> 
> *Yes, I am. I just thought you might wish to talk about this a bit.*

  
As always, the elevator ride always seemed to take hours.

> _ It's... very strange. I mean, I know that this might be the one thing that can save him and on the other hand... I feel selfish._
> 
> *For not wanting him to die?*
> 
> _ For not wanting him to die because I can't deal with it._
> 
> *I do not think of you as being selfish. I think you are a very caring person.*
> 
> _ Still, I also feel like I am somehow betraying him by just shipping him off. I know that's not what I am doing, but it feels that way._
> 
> *I understand.*

  
There was no need for anything further to be said. Just knowing that there was someone who understood - who didn't just say they understood, but actually did understand – made Sam feel better about herself already. Having Jolinar with her, it helped. Briefly, Sam wondered what it would be like to spend the rest of her life with someone who could understand her like Jolinar did. It didn't seem all that bad.

Then the elevator finally arrived at level 27, and the door opened to the familiar gray corridors of the SGC. Sam pushed her thoughts aside and pushed her father's wheelchair around the corner into the direction of the briefing room. General Hammond had requested a short meeting before they stepped through the gate to the new Tok'ra base.

"Jacob," General Hammond greeted Sam's father when they came into the briefing room. He stood up and walked to meet them in the middle of the room.

"George." Jacob tried to get up, but didn't quite manage to, instead just shaking the other man's hand vigorously. "You look good."

"I wish I could say the same about you."

The two men laughed for a moment.

"So you now have a very secret operation of your own," Jacob said while Sam pushed him to the table and sat down herself. "I must say I am impressed by what deep space radar telemetry can do."

General Hammond smiled. "You know how it works, Jacob," he said, sounding a bit apologetic.

"I do. I mean, I know you were doing something strange in this mountain, but sending people to other planets, fighting with some aliens and building alliances with others. This is huge."

Sam smiled. She loved seeing the sense of wonder on her father's face and hoped that she would see it more often now. Stepping through the gate for the first time was a huge thing for everyone, but for him, it would hopefully save his life.

The commander of Stargate Command folded his hands. "Yes, it is. And now we are hoping that some good can come out of it. Are you ready, Jacob?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

"I will send a team with you and your daughter. I expect to see you back soon, without the wheelchair so I can show you the base." He stood up.

"I wouldn't miss that for the world," Sam's father replied.

Sam pushed her father to the window so he could see the Stargate standing in the gate room.

"Very impressive," he exclaimed.

"It is. Shall we go then?" Sam asked.

"Of course, Let's do this.

* * *

Upon their arrival at the Tok'ra new base, they brought Sam's father to Selmak right away.

"Selmak is a woman?" was the first thing Jacob exclaimed when he entered the chamber, leaning heavily on Martouf after having to walk through the Tok'ra tunnels from the Stargate.

Saroosh was lying on the bed Sam had last seen in her in and looked like she was in a lot of pain, but lifted her head at their entrance and mustered Jacob.

"No, but I am," she said. "You are Jacob Carter, I presume."

"That assumption is correct."

Sam grinned. "There goes the introduction I had planned for the two of you."

Saroosh's symbiote took over control of her host's body. "Come closer, Jacob Carter," Selmak said, being helped to sit up by the Tok'ra who was tending to her needs.

Sam's father stepped closer to the bed and when Selmak waved at him to sit at her bedside, he did.

"Maybe we should leave," Martouf suggested to Sam so that only she could hear him.

"Dad? Maybe you want to be alone with Selmak a bit?" Sam asked her father. She didn't want to just leave him with the Tok'ra if he needed her there.

"I don't think either of us is particularly up to anything that would require us to be alone," he replied.

Sam laughed and was shortly afterward joined by Selmak.

"He's got a sense of humor. I like that," Selmak said.

"Oh, he's an entertainer. Really, you won't stop laughing with him," Sam said.

Her father grinned. "Now she's exaggerating. But only a bit."

"Everybody thinks highly of themselves," Selmak stated.

He raised an eyebrow."Maybe, but just ask my daughter. I am a teddy bear."

Selmak smiled. "I think I like you."

"Stop, you are making me blush," he replied and they both had to start laughing. Which cause them both to cough violently.

"Personally, I think we're a great fit," Jacob said when he had caught his breath again.

"I think we can really leave you alone now," Sam said, rolling her eyes in mock despair and grabbed Martouf's shoulders. They left the room in a hurry, but stayed close enough so they could hear if anyone in that room needed them.

"Do you think that your father will choose the life as a Tok'ra?" Martouf asked.

Sam nodded. "He's a fighter. He'll gratefully accept this chance. Now they only need to choose each other as well."

"I think they will get along well," Martouf assured her.

"Do you know Selmak well?"

"I have been on some missions with him. He is very nice and loyal and... has a strange sense of humor, to say the least. I think he and your father definitely share that."

Sam laughed. Her father did indeed have a very strange sense of humor, even though he didn't usually share it with his daughter. Still, she had heard other people speak very highly of him.

Only five minutes later, Sam's father exited the chamber and joined Sam and Martouf in the hallway.

"I think I just agreed to become a host. And I am actually kind of looking forward to it."

"Very well," Martouf replied before Sam could say anything. "We shall inform Garshaw about this now."

*

Somehow, Sam had been convinced that a Tok'ra joining that didn't happen like hers would be a bit more spectacular than what she witnessed soon afterwards. At the very least, she had expected a more ritualistic character to the event, maybe certain phrases that had to be repeated or a leaving ceremony for Saroosh. While there were some of Saroosh's and Selmak's friends present, they already seemed to have said their last goodbyes to the soon to be former host of Selmak. When Sam accessed the memories of Jolinar's former bondings, though, she found that this was what it usually was like – a very intimate, but also informal event.

Jacob was given a bed to lie down next to Saroosh. Selmak would enter his body through the mouth.

"And now you need to kiss me," Saroosh said.

"You're not being serious, are you?"

Saroosh shook her head. "I am. Would you deny a dying woman her last wish?" she said, grinning even in the face of her last moments.

"Of course not," Jacob answered and edged closer to Saroosh. They whispered something that Sam couldn't understand.

Sam once again wondered how similar the host and the symbiote became after so much time together. Did they become indistinguishable from one entity until the last moment, when the symbiote could live on while the host was destined to live the last few moments alone? It was a bleak way of looking at it.

Saroosh opened her mouth. Sam could see that the other Tok'ra were closing their eyes or looking down, but she couldn't turn away as her father's mouth came into contact with Saroosh's and maybe she imagined it but she thought she could see the symbiote changing hosts through the connection.

The actual blending was also less spectacular than Sam would have thought. Her father's eyes opened a few moments after Selmak entered him and they glowed. Then he, or rather, Selmak, leaned forward and whispered some more things into Saroosh's ear and Saroosh smiled and took one final breath before closing her eyes for the last time.

Sam stepped closer to her father's bed and he looked at her.

"Let us mourn for Saroosh , but also not forget to be happy about our new member, Jacob Carter," Selmak said, in the voice of his host. He wasn't speaking loudly, but firmly enough that everyone listened to him. Sam could already tell that together they would be a force to be reckoned with.

"Can you heal him?" Sam asked.

He nodded. "It will take some time and rest, his condition is already severe. I do not know whether I could have healed him in a few days time, but it is possible now."

Sam could only nod. She wasn't able to explain it, but talking to her father without actually talking to him suddenly brought down the reality of the situation for her.

Four Tokra carried Saroosh's bed outside; Selmak lay back down to begin the healing process. It was a strange situation, and Sam didn't quite know what to do with herself.

"Would you like to watch over him?" Martouf asked her as though he had sensed her problem.

Sam nodded. Slowly, the other Tok'ra were leaving the room, likely to prepare Saroosh's funeral. She guessed that it would take place after Selmak had healed her father's body, so that Selmak could be present. For now, though, she just sat down beside his bed and watched as his new symbiote cured his body of its illnesses.


	6. Symbiosis

Sam sat by her father's side for a few hours before he finally opened his eyes again.

"Sam?"

Sam thought he already looked a lot better than when they had left for the Tok'ra planet. "Yes, Dad? I'm here."

"Good." He grasped her hand and squeezed it. And then he smiled.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"I think I actually feel fine. You know, physically."

Sam smiled, tons of weight being lifted from her mind. "That's great. And... you know, otherwise?"

He thought for a moment. "It's... confusing. But in a good way, I think."

Sam nodded. She didn't know what he meant, but she could also see that he wasn't yet able to explain his feelings. He had never been the best talker anyway.

"We need to go to the funeral now. They will expect me there. We will more talk later, I promise. We have all the time in the world now." He sat up, smiling.

Sam was anxious to finally talk to her father, but she knew through Jolinar, Saroosh's funeral would not wait. She called for Martouf, who had been waiting outside.

Martouf led them out of the tunnels to the funeral site. The funeral would take place around the Stargate, where some of the Tok'ra had erected a pyre placed Saroosh's body on it, which Sam found rather odd.

> *The Stargate will be dialed and the stabilizing event horizon will then sweep away the body.*

  
Sam found that a fascinating rite, developed by a race whose everyday life involved the Stargate. Even in death, they were connected to it.

"We have come here today to say good-bye to the Tok'ra Saroosh," Selmak began quietly, but audible to everyone who had come. Most of the Tok'ra that were currently on base seemed to have come and they all stood in silence while Selmak talked about Saroosh's life, her personality and her experiences. He spoke in the voice of her father and to Sam that was both soothing and upsetting, as she had heard him talk like this before, on official Air Force functions, but also on her mother's funeral. He had said such beautiful things back then, but Sam remembered little of it. She had been too young, too upset.

Selmak closed the speech with the formal Tok'ra words of final farewell. "shal nor'em calak nem kek. Tak mal arik tiak."

> *Your soul will survive even death. You will not be forgotten.*

  
Sam hadn't known Saroosh at all, but still she could feel her eyes getting wet. She blinked and pushed her feelings away, focusing on the image of her father standing tall and healthy in front of her, so much better than only two days ago.

Per'sus was the one who dialed the Stargate to create the vortex that took Saroosh's body away. One by one, the Tok'ra said their private good-byes and then went back to the tunnels. Per'sus and Sam were the last two, and Per'sus only spoke a few quick words to Sam's father before also returning to the tunnels.

"Sam," Jacob said to her and beckoned her to follow him. They walked in silence for a while and sat down on the desert sand a bit further away from the Stargate. Sam found herself not knowing what to say to him.

"This is all very strange," he then blurted out and laughed.

Sam couldn't help but laugh with him. "I know what you mean."

"I am actually having a conversation in my head and don't know what reply I will get."

"Better than always talking to yourself, huh?"

He thought for a moment. "I am not sure yet. But it sure beats being dead, don't ya think?"

Sam just nodded. She didn't want to think about this particular possible outcome.

"Selmak told me about what happened with you and Jolinar," Jacob continued, quieter than before.

Looking up at her father, she saw concern on his face. "I am fine," she said.

He raised an eyebrow. "And I am supposed to believe that?"

Sam knew that Jolinar felt uncomfortable with this topic, but that wasn't why she didn't want to continue this topic of conversation. "Yes, actually, you are," she replied.

Her father shook his head, but didn't press the matter any further. "I seem to have acquired a few duties along with my new... companion."

Sam was grateful for the change in topic. "Yes, Selmak is a member of the Tok'ra Council."

"Which is having a few issues at the moment. Selmak says I should tell you that Cordesh has been punished and that Talkar has been forced to return to the Tok'ra and is being held until further questioning."

"That is good news," Sam replied.

"The blending and the funeral were a lot to take in at once. I think I will soon make my way to Selmak's... my quarters. We have so much to talk about, Sam, but I am still an old man and need a bit of rest."

She nodded. "I understand. Sounds like a good idea."

"And what are your plans for now, Sam?"

Sam thought for a moment before replying. "I think I will be returning to Earth for a while. That was at least what I had originally planned to do when the General told me about your... condition." Sam hesitated. "Actually, I was supposed to talk some more about the Tok'ra-Earth alliance with General Hammond." Sam had completely forgotten that with everything that had happened.

Her father nodded. "Yes, Selmak has an idea for that, actually. Seems like the Council feels very much in your debt now and will okay a formal alliance very soon. He thinks that I... we could serve as a kind of liaison between the two people."

"And what do you think about that?" Sam asked.

"I think I actually like the idea. I have lived on Earth for so many years, I think I will enjoy seeing what the rest of the universe has to offer to me, and Selmak's life does sound like it would be very exciting. The Air Force hasn't given me any action in years now. But... going back to Earth from time to time would be wonderful. I think I'd miss the planet otherwise. And you and Mark, of course."

Sam nodded. She knew what he meant, she also couldn't imagine a life completely away from Earth.

"So, what are you going to do now?"

"Going back to Earth?" Sam was confused. Hadn't she just answered that question?

Her father shook his head. "No, I mean afterwards. Are you going to wait for a new host for Jolinar and then return to your team?"

Sam shrugged. "I suppose so. I didn't have much time to think the last few days."

He laughed. "I can imagine that. How about you... gate back to Earth and get a few good night's sleep in a real bed? I can imagine that these tunnels are not the most comfortable place to stay. And, well Selmak told me what you have done the last few weeks. A few days back home should do you some good, don't you think? I will excuse you with the other Tok'ra."

"You want to get rid of me, don't you?" Sam laughed.

"Nothing less than that. But apparently, I am now one of their oldest and wisest and can pretty much do what I want. And that includes sending my daughter to bed when I think she needs a break." He winked at her and stood up. "I will even excuse you with Martouf."

Sam was surprised to realize that Jolinar was agreeing with her father.

> _Don't you want to speak to him?_
> 
> *In due time. But that can really wait until you have had a break. Until we have both had a break.*

  
They walked back to the Stargate together. Sam hugged her father good-bye before dialing the coordinates of Earth. She was just about to say something about missing him and how grateful she was for seeing him like this when he just said "Tell George I said hello" and turned away.

Sam sighed. He might be a Tok'ra now, but he was also still her father.

* * *

It was late evening on Earth when Sam returned through the Stargate. The General had gone home for the night and so Sam was allowed to return to her quarters after a thorough medical exam. She wasn't allowed to leave the base, but she also had no desire to. For the moment, she just wanted to sleep.

Despite that, Sam woke up in the middle of the night. Even the relatively comfortable bed on base was not inviting enough to keep her from thinking too much. And there was much to think about. She felt like she had been gone for several weeks while in reality it had been just under two. The trip to Ovlek's planet, the time on the ship and then her father's blending... it had all taken place with little time to breathe.

Thoughts floated through her head and at first she tried to suppress them. She know she needed sleep. But she also needed to sort the thoughts in her head and make a few decisions. Jolinar seemed to be asleep, repairing a few minor things in Sam's and her body.

An hour later, Sam was still awake, lying with her eyes closed. She had come to a decision.

> _ Jolinar?_

  
It took Jolinar a few seconds to answer.

> *Yes, Samantha?*
> 
> _I have been thinking._
> 
> *While I was asleep?*
> 
> _Yes._
> 
> *What is on your mind?*

  
Sam strengthened herself. She was sure of what she wanted to say next, but actually formulating the thoughts was more difficult than she had thought.

> _ I have been thinking about us, actually._
> 
> *Because of your father?*
> 
> _No... well, maybe that, too._
> 
> *And what have you concluded, Samantha?*
> 
> _I'm not sure anymore... whether I want us to be separated again. Whether I want to find a new host for you so you can leave me._
> 
> *Do you honestly feel this way about me?*
> 
> _Yes. I am thinking that maybe I would like to remain joined with you. I think I got to know you very well over the past weeks and we have really grown together. And... yes, I think I'd miss you a lot if you'd leave me._

  
There was a moment of silence and Sam started to feel nervous. Maybe Jolinar didn't feel the same way? But hadn't she felt the same feelings from her for the past few days? The feeling that she didn't want to leave her again?

> *I am honored and moved by your words. I would be delighted to continue my life with you if you wish so.*

  
Sam was relieved. This was such a life-changing decision and she knew that the path in front of her wouldn't be easy. But she needed Jolinar to feel the same or they would have to go separate ways again.

> _ I do have one condition, though, and I am not sure whether you will agree to that-_
> 
> *What is that condition?*
> 
> _I currently have no desire to live with the Tok'ra. I'd rather stay here on Earth with Stargate Command. I like the Tok'ra fine, but I miss Earth and my team too much._
> 
> *So you would like to rejoin SG-1?*
> 
> _If I am allowed to, yes. I am sure there will be some hoops to jump through._

  
Jolinar thought about that for a moment.

> *I will be honest with you and say that not being with my people is not what I would choose, but I have been apart from my people very often in the past and I have also learned from you that the way your people fight the Goa'uld is a very good alternative way. I would love to participate in that if your people allow me to do so. *
> 
> _I guarantee that we will see your people even if we stay on Earth._
> 
> *I think that makes them our people, do you not agree?*
> 
> _Yes, **our** people._

Sam wasn't sure whether this was the wisest decision she had ever taken. But it felt good to her, and she could only hope that she wouldn't regret it.

* * *

In the morning, Sam decided to go the official way. She had been given an appointment at 1030 for a formal debriefing with the General the night before, so she would be able to bring her wish up during that conversation.

After sitting around for a while and a short trip to get some food, Sam wandered over to Daniel's office, not actually sure whether SG-1 already had returned from their mission to Cimmeria. She felt out of the loop and wondered what they had done there.

Daniel practically ran into her when she walked into his room through the open door.

"Oh, hey, Sam. I didn't know you were on base. How are you?" he said, balancing about one dozen thick books between his hands and his chin.

"I'm good, thanks. I arrived really late last night," she answered. "Come on, I can help you." She grabbed the top five books off him.

"I am just going to bring those to Doctor Rothman's office. I don't need them anymore," Daniel explained and led the way. "It's just around the corner."

"How's your father?" Daniel said on the way down the corridor. "We were all worried when we heard about him."

Sam smiled. "Thanks. He's fine now and staying with the Tok'ra for a while."

"Good to hear," Daniel responded, knocking on the door of Rothman's office. When no reply came from the inside, he pushed open the door, which was unlocked.

Sam followed him to the office where he knocked before pushing open the door. The office looked very much like Daniel's, just with less Egyptian things. Instead, the archaeologist working here seemed to be more interested in Ancient China.

"Just put them on the floor somewhere," Daniel advised her and did just that with then pile he was carrying.

Sam wondered whether complete chaos was the normal working environment for Daniel's colleagues, but didn't ask the question out loud, instead just doing as she was told.

"So, did everything go well with your father?" Daniel asked concerned while they were walking back to his office.

She nodded. "Yes, he is healthy again."

"That must have been tough." They arrived in Daniel's office now and Sam's teammate was busy de-cluttering one of the chairs so Sam could sit down. She took the offered seat once he had managed that almost impossible task.

"It wasn't pleasant," Sam said with a sigh. "But it turned out alright."

Daniel nodded, and Sam suspected from his expression that his thoughts were with Sha're again, even if only for a brief second.

"You were on Cimmeria while I was gone," Sam said, changing the topic.

Daniel pushed back his glasses. "Oh, yeah, we came back yesterday as well. Kendra called us because they were being attacked by the Goa'uld."

Sam leaned back and listened to Daniel telling her the whole story, only occasionally asking a question. He told her about the Hall of Thor's Might and how it had taken quite long to solve the puzzle, but they managed with the help of a lieutenant that General Hammond had sent along with them, who apparently had minored in mathemetics.

They laughed that it would have probably taken a bit less time with Sam and for a moment, Sam felt sad that she hadn't been there with her team. But Daniel just went on to talk about discovering the Asgard and Sam was listening to him with growing fascination. The Tok'ra knew of the Asgard, but they had never met them.

As Daniel was coming close to finish recounting the events, Teal'c stopped by and joined them. When she had heard everything there was to know about the Cimmeria mission, Sam told of her own adventures until she took a look at her watch and almost jumped out of Daniel's chair.

"Sorry guys, I have an appointment with the General," she excused herself.

Sam hurried to General Hammond's office and knocked on the door. He called her inside and mentioned for her to take a seat.

She sat down in the chair opposite of the General. It was always slightly intimidating to be in this office even though she couldn't have hoped for a better and kinder base commander than General Hammond. She knew that sh first needed to talk to him about her father, but then... Then she needed to tell him about her plans.

"Welcome home, Captain." General Hammond looked at her warmly.

"Thank you, sir," Sam said with a smile. She liked talking to General Hammond so much more than talking to the Tok'ra Council – where the Tok'ra Council made her feel insecure and small, the General always made her feel welcomed.

"Now, what can I do for you, Captain Carter?" he asked. "Is everything alright with Jacob?"

Sam heard a bit of worry in his voice and shook her head. "No, sir, everything is fine with him and he sends his regards. I am sure he will be able to talk to you in person soon."

"That is wonderful news."

"It is. However, I wanted to talk to you about something else."

Sam took a deep breath. This was it, the first step on her new path.

* * *

The General had called an immediate briefing of SG-1 once hearing her decision, but it took some time to assemble the team in one place. Colonel O'Neill had left the base in order to get some downtime after their mission to Cimmeria. Sam knew that that mission must have been straining for the Colonel – after all, SG-1 was partially responsible for the Goa'uld invasion that had taken place. One hour after the General's call, he, too, arrived on base.

"So Carter, what important news do you have? Your dad is okay, right?" Colonel O'Neill said, flinging himself on one of the briefing room chairs. The rest of the team was already seated and they had only been told by the General that Sam needed to discuss something urgent with them. The General himself was not present, instead calling some people who could help with Sam's situation. She was immensely grateful for that.

"He is, Colonel," Sam said with a smile which she knew looked forced.

"That's good to hear. Would love to meet him one of these days. So, I hear you have something urgent for us to discuss?"

"Well, I don't quite know how to phrase this, sir," Sam replied.

"Just... say it out loud. I am sure we can handle it," the colonel replied with a short glance at his teammates, who were as unaware of Sam's plans as he.

She took a deep breath. "I have made a decision regarding Jolinar. I am planning not to take the Tok'ra's offer to find a new host for her. Instead I am planning to stay blended with her. The General already knows about this."

There was a moment of silence. Sam looked at each of them, expecting their reactions not to be positive.

"That is your choice to make, Captain Carter" Teal'c then said, obviously accepting her decision in the matter.

Colonel O'Neill held up a hand. "Whoa, not so quick."

Sam could take a very good guess as to what he wanted to say with that. "Sir, I can assure you I have thought this through."

"Oh, I am sure you have, Carter. Really, I am. Sometimes I think you think too much for your own good. It's just that... you know, this is coming kind of sudden," her commanding officer said.

Sam nodded. "I know how it must look from the outside, sir, but I am not being pressured in any way if this is what you think. Neither by Jolinar nor by the other Tok'ra," she assured him.

"So do you want to join the Tok'ra, then? Be with your father?" Daniel asked before Colonel O'Neill could say anything else. Daniel mostly looked confused.

"I don't think so. My father will be well enough without me. Actually, I would like to resume active duty with SG-1, actually," Sam replied. "General Hammond has already guaranteed me his support, if you are all okay with it." She lightly stressed the 'my'.

"I do not see why this would make you unfit for duty," Teal'c said and Sam could have kissed him for his restrained but obvious approval in the matter.

"I don't think this is actually the problem, is it, Carter?"

Sam shook her head and sighed. "General Hammond doubts that the Air Force and the NID will like the thought of having a Tok'ra on Stargate Command's flag-ship team."

"No, they will hate that thought," the Colonel said. "So, what would you do if they keep you from this?"

Sam shrugged. "Stay here on base if that's okay. Otherwise, I'd join the Tok'ra, I suppose. I really want to stay with Jolinar and I also know I can help fight the Goa'uld. I'd just really prefer doing it here and with you."

"So we would need to get a replacement for you then?" Colonel O'Neill asked.

"Yeah," Sam answered. There wasn't much to add to that – she knew that if she were to completely leave the team, they would need someone new.

"Well, that's just not an option, is it?" he said. "I suppose the NID won't like the thought of their flag-ship team not being operational, don't ya think?"

Sam raised an eyebrow. Was he really suggesting that he would back her up?

"Oh, don't look so surprised, Carter. I may not like snakes in general, but I dislike being short one brilliant scientist and soldier even more. And it looks like you made already your decision. Everyone with me on this?" He looked at Daniel and Teal'c, who both nodded. "That's settled then. I'm just glad I'm not gonna be the one with the snake in his head."

Sam bowed her head. "Thank you," Jolinar said.

"As long as you don't talk like that, that is. I really, really don't like that."

Jolinar nodded. "As you wish," she said using Sam's normal voice. After a moment's hesitation, she added, "sir."

* * *

The official hearing was scheduled for the next day at the Pentagon in Washington and Sam could barely keep her nervousness at bay. She tried hanging out with her team members that night, but found she was too distracted for that and went to bed early.

The fact alone that they let her leave the mountain was... unexpected, to say the least. Sam wondered whether this was some more 'strings-pulling' by the General and maybe even the President or whether the NID really wanted something from the Tok'ra. Likely it was both.

On the flight to Washington the next morning she was so nervous she could barely eat anything and didn't talk a lot. Colonel O'Neill and Daniel were flying with her, Teal'c staying on-base, as they figured the NID hadn't been particularly pleased by Teal'c position on SG-1 in the first place. No need to deliver more ammunition to them than they already had.

When they stepped out of the plane, Daniel placed a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, Sam. Remember the last time they tried to sabotage the SGC? We ended up saving their lives."

"You don't seriously expect them to thank us for that, do you?" The Colonel responded, following behind them.

Daniel shrugged. "Well, they were going to give you two medals for that," he pointed out.

Sam laughed. "Right, are we still getting those?" She had forgotten all about that.

"Only if we don't piss them off too much today," Jack added.

"As if we would ever do that," Daniel said.

Sam raised an eyebrow and smiled at the two men. She knew that unfortunately, the fun would end very soon.

They were led to a conference room once at the Pentagon. Sam had never been in that portion of the building, but it was just a completely unspectacular conference room. After five minutes, they were joined by two Air Force representatives, who introduced themselves as Major Grant and Major Davis.

"Pleased to meet you,"Sam said, thinking that they looked friendly enough.

The door opened once more and Sam saw two familiar people enter the room – Agent Walker and Colonel Maybourne.

"Oh, just great," O'Neill said beside Sam, who was equally displeased by the presence of Colonel Maybourne as she was.

"It's nice to meet you again as well, Colonel," Colonel Mayborne said, sitting down.

"I wouldn't call it that," O'Neill responded.

Daniel coughed and Colonel Mayborne changed the topic. "May I introduce Agent Walker, who has been assigned to this... project at the NID. I believe Captain Carter has already met him."

"Project?" Daniel asked.

"The Tok'ra," Agent Walker said.

> _ So we are a 'project' now._
> 
> *It appears so, yes.*
> 
> _ I should probably feel flattered._

  
"Anyway," Major Davis said, "we should probably get started on discussing the topic at hand."

"Yes," Sam agreed with him, desperately wanting to get this over with.

"Captain Carter has requested to be reinstated as a member of the SG-1 team," Major Davis summarized the situation.

"Yes, and the NID is in full support of that decision," Colonel Mayborne said.

Sam paused for a moment, thinking she must have misheard. "Excuse me?" she then said.

"We believe that your position on SG-1 would be beneficial."

"Ah, I see," Colonel O'Neill said. "After so spectacularly failing with the Tollan, you would like to get your hands on some other alien technology."

Sometimes, Sam admired her commanding officer's bluntness in the face of such situations.

"We did not fail with the Tollans," Agent Walker responded.

"Sure looked like that to me when they just walked out on us."

Colonel Maybourne looked at O'Neill. "They did help us by letting us use their technology."

"The Tollan only helped us because they are allies of the Tok'ra, and we practically had to beg them to help us," Daniel said, his voice a bit louder than usually.

Sam had not until now really wondered how the SGC got the Tollan to help them. She had just assumed the SGC had contacted the Nox to help them and they had then talked to the Tollan. But now, she also wondered whether Narim had anything to do with it. Would the Tollan also have helped the SGC with their device if it had been anyone but Sam who had been in this situation?

"Do you really think that after what you wanted to put them through the last time they were here they will ever help us again just because we ask nicely?" Daniel continued.

Sam pushed her thoughts aside. This was not the situation to be thinking of Narim.

"You may not think so, but we have learned from that incident," Agent Walker responded.

"Oh, I am sure you have," Colonel O'Neill answered, making it very clear that he did not think so at all.

Sam thought that the only thing the NID had probably learned was to throw people into cells sooner rather than later. Still, as she had learned from her previous meeting with the NID back at the SGC, the NID seemed awfully set at making this alliance happen.

"Maybe we should let that topic rest for now," Major Grant said, and Sam was grateful for it.

"Yes, let's get back to Captain Carter's request," Colonel Maybourne agreed.

"The Air Force has some security concerns in regards to this situation," Major Davis said.

Sam nodded. "I can understand that."

"We are, essentially, not against you returning to your assignment even in your," Major Grant hesitated, "current state."

Sam nodded again, thinking that so far, this was going much better than she had expected.

Major Grant looked down on a sheet of paper he had brought with him. "We would like that for now, say four weeks, you stay at Stargate Command and not do any field-work related to SG-1. Based on your activities with Jolinar to date, the Air Force will allow you to leave the planet, with prior notice. We would like to see you work with the rest of the base, who could likely all profit from your new knowledge. We would require weekly status reports from Colonel O'Neill and General Hammond during that time. If there are no incidents, we would be happy to have you rejoin SG-1 on active duty after that period."

Sam raised her eyebrows. "Is that all?" she asked.

The Major nodded.

Sam looked at Colonel O'Neill, who shrugged. "I think that sounds reasonable," she said. She hadn't been expecting any less, though she had thought that the NID would be the ones insisting on such measures, and more.

"If it works for you," Colonel O'Neill just said. "And I am sure General Hammond won't mind, either."

"Good. Our one last request is that Captain Carter undergoes frequent psychological evaluations," Major Davis said.

Sam barely refrained from sighing. This request did not please her, but she also knew she was in no position to bargain here. She was asking them a favor.

> *You do not like this.*
> 
> _ No, but I'll survive._

"You want Carter to see a shrink?" the Colonel asked before she could say anything.

Sam raised a hand. "It's okay, Colonel. I don't mind," she said, her tone probably betraying her words.

Still, Major Davis seemed pleased. "Thank you for cooperating."

Sam leaned back in her chair and relaxed a bit. It looked like the worst part of the meeting was over; the rest of the meeting just consisted of defining what the Air Force required in their reports. Both the NID and the Air Force got mission reports from all Stargate teams anyway, so after her 'probation period' not much would change in that regard, except for the psychological evaluations.

Which wouldn't be fun, but she would deal. At least she had Jolinar to share the pain.

* * *

Sam's next stop after returning to the SGC was the Tok'ra base and she was granted permission to use the Stargate to go there without any problems, provided she took two soldiers with her. Whether it was for her protection or not no one ever said and Sam didn't ask. She didn't doubt the good intentions of the Air Force, though, as that seemed to be more General Hammond's own request.

So when she stepped through the gate, she had two Air Force lieutenants with her that she had never seen before. Sam told them to lay down their weapons and only a few minutes after they did so, Martouf came to greet her.

"Samantha, what a pleasant surprise. I hadn't expected to see you again so soon." He hugged her, and Sam realized she felt very comfortable with the physical closeness to Martouf.

"It's good to see you, too," she said and freed herself of his embrace. "I am afraid it is once again not a social call. I would like to meet with the Council, if that is at all possible."

Martouf smiled. "I honestly can't remember a time in recent history when the Council met this often – except for times when the Tok'ra were being severely hunted."

Sam hadn't really thought of this aspect before. Jolinar had never really made it clear to her that this wasn't completely normal. For a moment, she felt a bit embarrassed. "I hope I am not becoming a nuisance to the Council. They probably have other things to do."

"Not really." Martouf shook his head. "At least, not all the time and not now. Come, we will ask whether they are available. Malek left yesterday, but at least Garshaw and Per'sus are present – and of course Selmak." Martouf smiled again. "I am sure he will be very pleased to see you return so soon."

The present members of the Council were actually holding a meeting at the time Sam returned as she learned only minutes later when Martouf tried to find Garshaw. They waited for twenty minutes, but then they were ready to see her. It really was a small circle of only the three Tok'ra Martouf had mentioned and Delek.

"Sam, there you are," her father greeted her as she entered the meeting chamber and hugged her awkwardly.

"Hi, dad."

"We were not expecting you to return to us so swiftly, Samantha. We have so far still been unable to locate a new host for Jolinar," Per'sus said.

Sam shook her head. She wondered what to say briefly, but then said firmly, "One of the reasons I have come here for is to tell you that you can stop searching for one."

"Did you find someone?" Garshaw asked.

Sam shook her head again and then lowered her head to let Jolinar take over.

"Samantha and I wish to remain blended," Jolinar said and Sam felt her happiness at being able to say that.

Sam saw surprise in her father's as well as Per'sus face, but Garshaw was the first to address her. "Is that your wish, Samantha Carter of the Ta'uri?"

The two changed control again. "It is my wish as well as Jolinar's," Sam answered Garshaw.

"Are you sure, Sam?" her father asked her.

Sam nodded. "I am sure, dad." Then she addressed the whole Council. "But I don't just wish to stay with Jolinar. I wish to return to Earth and resume my position within SG-1, as part of the Earth-Tok'ra alliance."

Jacob briefly lowered his head, allowing his symbiote to take over. "I trust it you know what you are doing?" Selmak asked.

Sam knew the question was directed at Jolinar and let her take over again. "Indeed I do. Like Samantha, I wish to fight for our cause with the Ta'uri. I have had a lot of insight into their ways during my time with Samantha, and I think it is in our all interest that we return to the Stargate Program and help SG-1."

"Did the Ta'uri already agree to this?" Per'sus asked.

Jolinar nodded. "Indeed they did."

"You carry a lot of inside knowledge on the Tok'ra...," Delek started, but Jolinar interrupted him.

"And I always have, also on missions for the Tok'ra. Be assured that this is no more or less dangerous as my previous assignments have been. And since we have had a big part in securing a new host for Selmak, who will now act as the Tok'ra-Earth alliance with the Tok'ra, I am certain you will also see that having a Tok'ra join the Stargate program is a step in the right direction."

Sam was impressed by Jolinar's display of boldness, not even leaving the Council the room to object to her wishes.

Per'sus nodded. "I see that you have thought about this a lot already. Is there anyone here who objects to this?"

No one said anything and after a few more moments, it was Sam's father who broke the silence. "And there I thought I'd get more time with my daughter now." He was smiling when he said this, but Sam felt that there was also sadness in his statement.

Sam had to smile as well, but wanted to reassure him. "Don't worry, dad, I'll make sure to visit regularly." Sam knew that there were lots of reasons to go back to see the Tok'ra from time to time – among them her dad and Martouf, who she did feel very familiar with even though they weren't actually. But her place wasn't here – it was as a member of SG-1, traveling to other planets and helping other people, not spying undercover for the Tok'ra, maybe contributing a little to the demise of the Goa'uld, but with less obvious results. She couldn't think in centuries as the Tok'ra did, she needed to do something now.

Per'sus looked around, but no one else spoke. "Then I do not think we have any objections to your plan. If you come to see us from time to time that is. We like to keep in touch with our operatives, but considering your father's situation I am sure you will do that regardless of the Council. We will also make sure you receive a long-range communications device to contact us. However, I will ask you to please do not take that with you on missions. It shouldn't fall into the wrong hands."

Sam nodded. "Thank you," she said. "For everything you have done for me, I mean. And I will contact you again shortly when Earth is ready to resume the official talks."

She looked at her father. He was alive and healthy, and seeing him like that, the sight of him in the hospital bed just a memory, made everything worthwhile.

*

Sam knew she still had to tell Martouf about her decision. She couldn't leave, even if she planned to come back soon, without telling him. Jolinar had been silent so far when it came to Martouf, but Sam felt the urge to explain her feelings to him. Not to get his approval, but to make sure he understood so that she could not feel guilty about it. And for that, she had to see him now.

She found him sitting in one of the common areas, eating his evening meal in the company of Anise. They were lost in serious conversation when she came to stand next to Anise. The conversation stopped as both of them looked up at her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."

"You are not interrupting. We were finished with our meal anyway, I think," Martouf said, and Anise nodded.

"We will continue our discussion tomorrow, then," Anise added.

Sam felt like she was interrupting anyway. "You can do it now, really. I can come back later."

Martouf briefly looked at Anise and then shook his head. "There's no need to, the topic wasn't that important anyway."

"I trust it you didn't come here to speak to me?" Freya asked, standing up to go.

"Not really, no," Sam answered.

"Then you'll excuse me." Freya turned to leave.

Sam looked at Martouf confused. "She isn't angry now, is she?"

Martouf smiled. "It takes much more than that to offend Anise and Freya. She just has a very direct personality. What comes across as angry or offended is just how she usually expresses herself. You would notice very quickly if you angered her, I assure you," he explained.

"Good to know."

"What is it you came to see me about?"

Sam hesitated. "I need to talk to you," she said.

Martouf nodded. "Is there a problem?"

"Maybe we could go somewhere a little more private?" Sam suggested, looking around here. There weren't many Tok'ra present right now, but from the few days she had spent here she knew that this could change quickly. There was no real rhythm the Tok'ra lived by.

"Outside, then?

Sam nodded. "Sounds like a good idea."

The base was rather quiet at this time and apart from a few exchanged greetings with other Tok'ra, Sam and Martouf left the tunnels without any interruptions. Martouf made his way away from the ring transporters to the dunes and Sam followed him.

> _ Aren't you jealous at all?_
> 
> *Why would I be jealous?*

  
Jolinar seemed genuinely surprised at that thought.

> _ About Anise? Maybe this is stupid of me, but well... I think I would be._
> 
> *Jealousy is not something I actually think about often. I know Martouf and Lantash and I also know Anise and Freya. Where I trust Martouf that he would never betray me in any way, I also know Anise enough to be certain that she would also never do such a thing. She is not interested at all in Martouf.*
> 
> _ You're never jealous?_
> 
> *I would not say 'never', but it comes close, yes. I believe it is very much a sign of insecurities and problems that need to be addressed, and Lantash and I addressed those a long time ago.*

  
Sam understood. Apart from Jonas, she hadn't really had a long-term relationship up until now, which made Jolinar's and Lantash's relationship seem even stranger to her. But even though her engagement with Jonas had been a disaster in the end, she understood that in such a long-term relationship as theirs, which had survived many long separations and even several hosts, jealousy could have no place.

They sat down on one of the dunes, the sun slowly setting in front of them. It was a beautiful sight, but Sam couldn't pay much attention to it. She was still struggling with what she wanted to say.

"What is it you wanted to talk to me about, Samantha?" Martouf asked softly, looking at her, while she only looked ahead of herself.

"I'm not sure how to say this actually."

Martouf lay a hand on her shoulder. The touch felt warm and familiar and something in Sam wanted to take that hand and hold it and just stay. But Sam also knew that Jolinar was okay with what Sam was about to do, even though it hurt her. "You can talk to me about anything."

She swallowed hard. "I won't be staying here, Martouf. I will return to Earth, to be with my people. And with Jolinar."

He was silent for a bit, taking in this information. His hand still rested on her shoulder. "I understand," he then said.

Sam shook her head. "I don't think you can. There's this part of me, and it's not just Jolinar, but also me, that wants nothing more than to stay here, with the Tok'ra and... with you. And then there's this other part which just wants to go back home and would like for things to be restored to normal as much as possible and the decision to do that just feels right."

"At the very least, I understand that whatever decision you make, it is not an easy one."

"But you don't think it's the right one." It was meant as a question, but it came out like a statement.

Martouf lightly shook his head and retracted his hand. "What I think is inevitably going to be clouded by my feelings for you."

"You mean for Jolinar," Sam corrected him.

But again, Martouf shook his head. "My feelings for Jolinar are not different from the ones I have towards you, Samantha."

"But you barely know me."

"Maybe. And maybe not. I believe I have seen who you truly are in the time we spent together. You are an intelligent, funny, caring and beautiful person. Do not underestimate your effect on people – I do not only see Jolinar in you."

Sam was left speechless by his words for a while. It had been a long time since anyone had spoken about her like this. Yes, she had gotten recognition for being strong and smart in the academy, and she had been told that she was beautiful before, but not like this. The way Martouf said it was with complete honesty, there were no catch involved, he just genuinely said what he thought.

"I want you to know that I respect the choice you made. I would not want you to choose something that could make you unhappy based on my feelings for you." Martouf looked at her and all Sam could see in his eyes was that he was being honest with her.

Sam had to look away before she could say what she wanted to say next. "I feel bad for taking Jolinar away from you." She hadn't discussed this with Jolinar before, and she could feel that Jolinar wanted to talk to her about it now.  


> *It is also my decision. If I did not agree with you, I think you would know.*
> 
> _ Still... that doesn't stop me from feeling like I am taking something big away from the both of you._

  
"Is there something you need to discuss with Jolinar?" Martouf asked.

Sam smiled in spite of her current emotions. "Did I look that distant there for a while?"

Martouf nodded. "I have a few things to discuss with Lantash as well."

> _ This is strange. Talking to you while Martouf talks to Lantash._
> 
> *I see. It is quite normal for me. You will get used to it, I assure you.*
> 
> _ Anyway, about what I was saying..._
> 
> *There is no reason for you to feel bad. I love Martouf and Lantash with all I have. But the relationship to you is the most important for me and it comes above everything else.*
> 
> _ But doesn't that mean just that? That I am the one thing keeping you from them?_
> 
> *No, it means not only you made a choice, I made one as well. I knew that you are not ready to be with Martouf when I agreed to stay with you. And I do not regret that.*
> 
> _ That... _

  
Sam trailed off. She really had no idea what to say.

> *There is no need to say anything. This is just the way it is.*

  
Sam nodded and left it at that. Jolinar had once again given her more to think about. The Tok'ra dynamics were much more complex than they had looked like at first and Sam still had to get used to some aspects of that. She turned to Martouf again.

"I trust it Jolinar has told you in the end, whatever you two agree on is more important than what I or anyone else thinks. The relationship between the Tok'ra and the human host matters the most to us."

"Yes, she did."

Martouf nodded. "That is a very fundamental aspect of our society. But that you are concerned about what I feel about your decision and how I will be affected by this should tell you something about why I think so highly of you." Martouf smiled at her, but it was a sad smile. The next time he spoke, it was his symbiote Lantash speaking. "I am of course sad to watch Jolinar go, as well as I am sad that you do not wish to stay with the Tok'ra. But as Martouf already said, your decision, whatever it is, will always be respected by us. I have said good-bye to Jolinar many times during our centuries together, often thinking it would be the last time and she has always returned to me. And I trust you that you will bring Jolinar back alive and well. "

Sam took some time to let his words sink in and then nodded. She didn't know what to respond, as everything she could have said seemed to pale in comparison to what Martouf and Lantash had just told her. "Thank you," she simply said.

"I am the one that has to thank you. For bringing Jolinar back home and for giving her a new home. Both with you and with your people."

Lantash bowed his head and a moment later Martouf smiled at her sheepishly. "I hope we haven't made you feel uncomfortable, Samantha. We just want you to know how we feel and not feel bad about your decision."

Sam didn't answer and instead squeezed his hand. He understood. They sat in silence for a few more minutes, watching the sun set completely. It was, as Sam had foreseen, a beautiful sight. The world turned a wonderful shade of orange before the sun sunk too low and darkness began to encompass the two of them.

"Let us go back to the base now," Martouf suggested finally and they walked back together, their hands still entwined.

Sam went back to Earth through the Stargate later that night after having said goodbye to both her father and Martouf. But she wasn't alone, she wouldn't be alone for a long time now. She still had her team, she still had her father, and now she had one more person she could trust.


	7. Epilogue

Sam put the key in the lock of her door, but hesitated to turn it. She hadn't been home in weeks. Home... it was a word that sounded weird after these past weeks. It was eight weeks since she had encountered Jolinar, six weeks since the time on Cronus' ship and five weeks since she had returned to Earth from the Tok'ra base. Now she was officially free to go home. She would return to SG-1 after a week of much needed downtime.

Since returning from the Tok'ra base, she'd remained at the SGC, being checked in the infirmary or sharing some of her new Tok'ra knowledge with Daniel and the science lab. Jolinar hadn't been too thrilled with that at first, but realized that some must be shared for the Tau'ri to trust the Tok'ra in this new alliance. At least she seemed to trust Sam now. But all this meant no time to return to Sam's off-base quarters... home.

Finally, she opened the door and let herself into her own home. It was the middle of the day, so light streamed into the bungalow and she immediately felt welcomed. She had only bought this house half a year ago, but despite that and the fact that she hadn't really had the time to do a lot of decorating, it was still very much hers. It felt like her, from the neatly ordered bookshelves to the classical CD collection and the kitchen counter in the middle of the kitchen, a feature she had insisted on to the realtor.

Closing the door, she hung her keys on the key hook next to the door and slid out of her shoes. The house showed visible signs of her having been gone so long – there was dust gathered on every surface and she didn't even want to think about the contents of the fridge and some of the kitchen cupboards.

The first thing Sam did was to walk through the house to check whether everything was okay. When she found that everything was fine, so she started to make herself at home once again, which included cleaning. She threw out everything in the fridge, dusted and vacuumed all rooms, cleaned the bathroom and went to the close-by store to get new groceries and a few new plants to replace the ones that had died during her absence. When finally everything looked like she liked it, Sam took a nice long shower, dressed in a sweat pants and t-shirt combo and was about ready to collapse on the couch either in front of the TV or reading a good book. However, the door ringing interrupted that plan just as she had sat down.

For a moment, Sam contemplated pretending not to be at home. But the the voice inside of her telling her she couldn't do that won – and that voice wasn't Jolinar. Jolinar was quiet most of the time now – they didn't need words to communicate anymore. Besides, Jolinar was very busy with enjoying the new experience of Earth's surface, because even though she shared Sam's memories, memories were always less detailed than actually being there.

Sighing, Sam got up from the couch and walked towards the front door, deciding that her outfit was good enough for whoever was bothering her on her free afternoon.

She opened the door to see her commanding officer smiling widely at her.

"Hey Carter," he greeted her.

Sam stared at him for a moment, during which he looked down on her and took in her clothes.

"Is this a bad time?" he asked.

"Er, no, please, come in, sir," she replied and opened the door wider, steeping aside to let him through.

"We're off-base, Carter, drop the sir, at least," he replied and didn't leave her any time to respond before continuing. "Anyway, good thing this isn't a bad time because Daniel and Teal'c will be arriving in...." He looked at his watch. "... about half an hour. I have brought beer, they are getting the food and movies."

Sam was overwhelmed by this much information and just followed her unexpected guest into her living room at first.

"Carter, relax. This is neither an invasion nor is it a job interview, this is just a movies, pizza and beer night between a few friends. Now, if you'd like to change your clothes or anything – not that we mind you looking like this, though – I'll be busy getting the beer from the car into the fridge. Wouldn't want it to get warm, would we?"

"Yes, s... Colonel," Sam replied and watched him wander off again. She didn't like surprises, but this was... nice. Even the last weeks on base had been mostly work and she had barely had a leisurely or friendly conversation with anyone from SG-1. She went into her bedroom and changed into a pair of denim jeans, while she could hear him putting a few bottles of beer into her fridge. A quick look in the mirror and she was ready for guests.

"So, who had this idea?" Sam asked when she entered the kitchen again five minutes after she had left her commanding officer alone.

"I know you won't believe it, but Teal'c suggested it."

He was right, Sam didn't believe him. At least, didn't believe that Teal'c had had no encouragement by Daniel and Colonel O'Neill.

"So, what is this about?"

He raised an eyebrow and leaned against the kitchen counter. "What do you mean, what is this about? Can good friends not spend an evening together without there being an ulterior motive?"

Sam shook her head. "Come on, we both know this isn't just about hanging out together."

He sighed. "Okay, Carter, I am going to say this once, and only once because you know how this whole serious talking about emotions is just not my thing. But the last few weeks have been hard – on all of us, but especially on you. I, personally, really don't even want to imagine what it's been like, but you seem to be taking it all in a stride. So, of course, we are concerned. And it really hasn't escaped my notice that you buried yourself in work instead of talking to people and relaxing. But this just has to be tough on you. And whether you now have a snake in your head, as friendly as it may be, or not, we are still your friends and we want to be there should you crash. We want you to be okay, and we're going to be there if we can. So let us do that."

Sam didn't know what to say. The Colonel was, as he himself admitted, not one for talking about emotions, but this had hit a sore spot. Since Jolinar had first entered her, so much had happened. There had never been more than a few hours she had had for herself, to truly sort out her feelings. While her decision to stay with Jolinar had been one that she still stood by, it, like everything else, had been made suddenly, without really going into herself and considering the options. Sam wasn't usually that emotional or even downright reckless and now she slowly began to understand that this too was something that came with being a host: she had taken on some of Jolinar's behavioral patterns. Jolinar was silent in her now, but she could feel the emotional warmth that Jolinar was trying to give her, to show her that it was okay to feel like this.

"I..." Sam wanted to say something. Something about being okay. She closed her mouth again. No, nothing was okay right now and it would take time to get right again, maybe a lot of time. But maybe she wasn't alone in this. "Thank you," she whispered.

He nodded in acknowledgment.

Sam knew he wouldn't press the issue if she didn't want to talk about it and that was fine with her. She didn't want to talk. Instead, it was enough to know that she wasn't alone right now. Despite her best efforts to stay calm at least on the outside, she felt tears welling up in her eyes. She didn't want him to see it.

The Colonel must have sensed that she didn't want any physical comfort, as he turned away from her and opened the fridge. "So Carter, what do you think about beer? Might not be cold enough yet, but why wait until it's a decent time to have some, huh?"

Sam wiped away the tear escaping her eye and pulled herself together. It she broke down now, maybe she wouldn't get up again. And if she broke down in front of him then it wouldn't matter whether they were off-duty or not. She wouldn't know how to look him in the eye the next day, or the day after. And Sam knew he understood that. He hadn't come before Daniel and Teal'c so that she could break down, but so that she could keep from breaking down.

She couldn't thank him for that, though. "I'll have a beer," she instead replied, and after he had gotten the bottle from the fridge in about twice the time he should have needed for that task, she took it from him and carefully avoided looking into his eyes. She knew he understood.

They went to the living room, drinking their almost-cold beer while waiting for Daniel and Teal'c to arrive. The silence was comfortable and only interrupted by a few comments as to the quality of the beer and a few observations on what kind of furniture Sam had chosen and how she had chosen to decorate her house.

The door bell rang exactly half an hour after her first guest had arrived. Sam got up to open the door and let the two remaining team members in.

"Hi, Sam," Daniel said sheepishly and waved a bottle of wine into her face. "Thanks for... em, having us."

Sam raised an eyebrow, seeing as she hadn't been the one to initiate this meeting, but took the bottle from him nonetheless. "Come in, and thanks for the wine, Daniel."

"Greetings, Captain Carter," Teal'c said, four big pizza cartons in his hands.

"Hey, Teal'c," Sam said and invited him in as well.

Teal'c and Daniel followed her into the kitchen, where Colonel O'Neill was already waiting for the food to arrive.

Teal'c put the pizza cartons on the kitchen counter. "We have brought movies as well."

Colonel O'Neill opened the first box and apparently didn't like what he was seeing as he closed the box again and went for the next one. "What kind of movie?"

"A few Star Trek movies, at the suggestion of Daniel Jackson."

Sam could barely keep from laughing. "That will be... an interesting experience."

"I thought we would continue Teal'c's introduction to the genre of science-fiction." Daniel grinned.

Sam remembered the last movie they had all seen together, not long before Apophis' attack on Earth. They had watched Back to the Future at the Colonel's place and as those things always did, it had ended in a long discussion about whether Star Trek or Star Wars was better. It didn't matter what movie you started with, you always ended up with that argument. So now they had to watch all of them.

Colonel O'Neill was now inspecting the contents of the third pizza box and had it taken away by Daniel. "That's mine, Jack."

"So which one is for me?"

"Let me see...," Daniel said, picking up the boxes one by one. "We have Pizza Hawaii here, which is for you, Sam." He handed her the carton. "Then there's Pizza Quatro Stagioni, which is for me. The Tonno is for Teal'c and this one...," he handed the last one to the Colonel, "is a Diabolo and therefore all yours."

Sam grinned. Eating preferences had been established after mere weeks.

"Very good," the Colonel said and grabbed his pizza. "Anyone else want a cold one?"

Daniel nodded enthusiastically, but Sam shook her head. She knew she shouldn't have downed her first beer like that. "I think I'll try some of that wine Daniel brought."

"This is not the point where I mention just how cheap that wine was, is it?" Daniel looked apologetic.

"Your... Tok'ra doesn't prohibit you from drinking, does she?" Colonel O'Neill asked.

Sam laughed. "No, that's not the problem. Though from what I understand, it'll take a lot to get me drunk."

> *That is indeed the case. My physiology will break down the alcohol in your blood quickly.*
> 
> _That's good to know._

  
"Damn, that's just plain unfair," he answered. "She will not suffer as much as we do the next time some locals force us to drink their home-brew whatever-they-call-it," he said to Daniel.

"Very unfair," Daniel agreed. "It'll only be us two left," he added.

"And I will be able to remember what happens after the drinking as well," Sam continued to tease her two team-members.

Daniel grinned. "So Jack should better watch out, huh?"

"You say that like I am a cheap drunk. I am quite sure that title as already been awarded to you."

Sam almost giggled at the boys' banter. "Come on, guys, let's grab the pizza and beer – or wine – and hit the video recorder. The three Star Trek movies aren't going to watch themselves."

* * *

Sam enjoyed her week of downtime afterward. She showed Jolinar as much of Earth as she could and found it much more interesting than she would have thought before. Most of the ideas on what to do came from Jolinar, who turned out to be much more curious than Sam had imagined.

> *Your animals here are strange*

  
Jolinar said when she saw a platypus on the National Geographic channel. They decided to go to the zoo to see the animals live.

Another day, Sam decided to introduce Jolinar to the wonders of fresh ice cream and went to the small ice cream place just three minutes away from home. As it turned out, Jolinar had her own taste preferences, some of which were different from Sam's.

> _Seriously, you don't like chocolate?_
> 
> *I like it. I just prefer vanilla.*
> 
> _Good, because I would never ever give up chocolate._

  
They went to the Museum of Natural History with Daniel and Cassie. Daniel was a fabulous guide to Earth culture for people from other planets and explained things so much better than Sam could have – at least when it come to history. Sam took over in the science sections and the sense of wonder on Cassie's face warmed both Sam's and Jolinar's heart.

> *Earth has come so far*
> 
> _Well, we tried. There's still so much to do out there._

  
Jolinar loved Earth myths and so Sam went and got a book about the Arthurian legend that she read in the evenings when she lay curled up on the couch.

Having Jolinar in her felt natural now. Her life had changed, but there was still some normality in there.

* * *

After the week, Sam went back to work. Their first mission back as a team was supposed to be a completely routine mission, so when she was called to the briefing room directly upon arrival at the base, an hour before the pre-mission briefing was due, she was surprised by the urgency.

The whole of SG-1 as well as General Hammond were already in there, with Daniel standing next to a monitor, a remote control in his hand.

"Did something happen?" Sam asked while she sat down.

"We just received a transmission," the General explained.

Daniel pushed a button on the remote control. The picture came on, evidently a MALP transmission. Sam immediately recognized Kasuf.

"This was about half an hour ago," Daniel explained. We have periodically tried to make contact with Abydos for the past few days and obviously, Kasuf has unburied the Stargate and is waiting. For me."

Sam hadn't even realized Daniel had been waiting for this, but now his behavior the past few days made perfect sense. Except for the museum visit he had spent all his time at the SGC.

"It's been exactly one Abydos year to the day today, hasn't it? They kept their word," Sam said.

Daniel nodded. "And I have to keep mine."

Sam leaned back a bit in her chair. So her first mission with Jolinar would be going to Abydos, just like on her own first mission. Somehow, it seemed like a fitting start.

END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Chapter Titles:_   
> 
> 
>   * Co-existance: the state of two or more things existing together, usually in a temporal or spacial sense, with or without mutual interaction
>   
> 
>   * Commensalism: the relation between two different kinds of organisms when one receives benefits from the other without damaging it 
>   
> 
>   * Mutualism: any interaction between two species that benefits both; typically involves the exchange of substances or services
>   
> 
>   * Co-evolution: A change in the genetic composition of one species (or group) in response to a genetic change in another
>   
> 
>   * Symbiosis: the relation between two different species of organisms that are interdependent; each gains benefits from the other 
> 

> 
> Thank you for reading this far!


End file.
